Instincts

A free Saturday! The only hitch is that I have to get gas. Grrrrrrrr. Go to the gas station, get it over with. I pull up to the pump and out of the corner of my eye I see a group of guys standing around their truck. As I get out of my car, I try to ignore their stares, grins, and whispered comments. I hold my head up high and strive for the confident, independent look. I purposefully unscrew the gas cap and punch the unleaded button, all the while keenly aware that my every move is being watched. They know I know. They make a few comments to me, nothing obscene, just obnoxiously trying to engage me in conversation. I pretend not to hear. It’s best not to encourage this sort. I finish putting in my measly twenty dollars, and round the car under their careful scrutiny. I grab the door handle and it surprisingly snaps back into place unopened. “Crap!” This has not gone unnoticed in the play-by-play observation of my behavior by the guys and a delighted groan goes up from the group. My instincts, at noticing the group of excited men next to me, caused me to unconsciously lock my door as I shut it behind me with my keys and phone inside. I have no choice now but to turn around, acknowledge them, and ask to borrow a cell phone. One of the dudes asks me if I thought they looked like thugs or something. Gol, I hate being transparent! Of course I deny that and continue on with my confident, un-intimidated charade. Thankfully, I recognize someone else at the station who can give me a ride home. I end up waiting close to an hour, blocking the pump, for AAA to come unlock my car.
My new motto will be: Vigilant, yet calm. I can’t let my well-meant instincts to get me into trouble and embarrassment. I am, however, taking a women’s personal safety course later on this month. It has been something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time, and, obviously, something I need to do very badly.