Double Speak

For anyone who has ever had to write or read an academic paper you know that it can be an impenatrable fog. This particular genre of writing includes vauge and confusing language seemingly meant to clarify things for the reader, but rather makes things even more confusing. I am convinced that this is done to stupify the reader in dumbly agreeing with whatever the writer is saying. This can be used to one's advantage when writing bull crap for a grade. Whether you find yourself the writer, or the poor suffering reader, you will no doubt appreciate these interpretations of certain sample phrases often found in such academic writing.

Note: These sample phrases are taken from the amusingfacts.com website and are for entertainment purpose only. I will add this link to my links list for the wild and ceaseless entertainment of the bored and restless.

"It has long been known..." : I didn't look up the original reference.

"In my experience...": Once.

"In case after case...": Twice.

"In a series of cases...": Thrice.

"It is believed that...": I think.

"It is generally believed that...": A couple of others think so too.

"According to statistical analysis...": Rumor has it.

"A statistically-oriented projection of the significance of these findings...": A wild guess.

"Correct within an order of magnitude...": Wrong

"It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field..." I quit.