I was hoping to do my student teaching in Costa Rica next winter. I was very excited about the prospect of traveling to another country again, and getting to use my Spanish. However, upon closer inspection of the requirements of the program it looks like I will not be going after all. I am disappointed, but I think that it is probably for the best ( I grudgingly admit). I had told Katie (the 12 yr old that I’ve been taking care of since she was 8) about my plans to go to Costa Rica earlier this year. Friday I forlornly told her that it wasn’t working out, and was completely unprepared for her response. A look of relief and joy flashed through her eyes and she got the biggest smile on her face! She practically giggled. I was shocked. I had no idea she had been so disturbed about my leaving.
“If you leave Miss Stephenie, who will be with us?” It is completely unthinkable to her that I could ever leave her and Mary. Life (as they know it) would cease to continue. I wanted to say, “Well, you have parents. Someone else could stay with you. Oh, you’d be fine!” but I guess that really isn’t the point. They depend on me, I am a part of their life.
I also relieved Barak’s mind with the news that I wouldn’t be missing from the worship team for 71/2 weeks. This was one of the major things on my mind when considering going, actually. It would be a long time to be gone from my ministry and responsibility.
Looking at these things is sort of frightening to me. I’ve always been able to go and do whatever, whenever. I’ve enjoyed that. Somehow though, over the past five years, I have grown roots, and ties to people. I am depended on and needed. I can’t selfishly do whatever I want. It is sort of sobering, and a little humbling too.
I really have some great plans, but I know that God’s plans are better than mine. I don’t want to miss out on them because I blindly go after what I think would be best.
That is where it stands.
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Maturity brings freedom but it also brings increased responsibility. The Lord will take care of you as you care for those who need you. There's a scripture for that but I can't quite remember it - something about Jesus tenderly leads the ewes with lambs. I take it to mean God gives special care to those who are caring for others. There is a time to every purpose under heaven - maybe it's just not the time yet to go out of the country. When the time does come, he'll clear away all that hinders you and make your path straight. It'll also be "more than you can imagine or even think".
yes, i believe that. thanks for all your encouragement colleen.
I need you too. Just like Katie I sigh with relief. Well, maybe not that dramatic. I know you want to travel the globe and I think that's awesome. I encourage you and will support you in it, but, I will really miss you! I am thankful for every opportunity the Lord gives us to hang out and encourage one another. I'm saving room in my scrapebook for all the postcards I'm gonna get from you.
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