Hail Rebekah the goddess of Massage!

This post is entirely devoted to my cousin Rebekah who not only gave me a fabulous back-altering massage, but also spoke words of hope and encouragement to me (yes, I'm the queen!).

I don't know what I would do without you Rebekah! I am so blessed by God to have such a wonderful friend and cousin. Our bond goes beyond friendship. We are bound by blood. I am amazed at how we do the same things without even knowing the other has done them. Months later we are awed at the syncromism of our lives. I imageine this must be a taste of what twin siblings experience.

We are a support to each other in our darkest moments. I'll never forget your tear filled call when life crumbled around you and I rushed to your side. Now when I am surrounded by fear and insecurity as I face my own obstacle, you have been there for me. Your words yesterday have encouraged me more than you will know.

Whether we make it in life, or fail. We will always be.

Ouch! My Back!

My back has been hurting the last few days. It feels like I might have a pinched nerve or something. When I look down sharply and a little to the side I can feel a nerve pull all the way down my back. It's very uncomfortable! I had my mom give me a massage last night, but it didn't help much. I'm hoping my cousin can fit me in her schedule and massage out some of the knots and loosen up my nerves.

My back pack is so heavy, and I realized that I hunch my shoulders up to hold the weight. I think this might be part of the problem. There's not a whole lot I can do about it though.

I added some links to some of my friends sites. They are very COOL, so be sure to check them out!

To Carve a Virtual Pumpkin click HERE

Tutoring 101

Tutoring is going well. I am having them read Nate the Great and Sideways stories from Wayside School. Edward loves Nate the Great books. He read Nate's handwritten note to his mom in the story. These notes are always written in cursive. He really struggled to get through it and wasn't giving up. When he finished he was so excited because that was the first time he had ever read in cursive. He was so proud of himself. I had to tell his teacher and write a note to his mom about it.

Michael is another story. He's not as interested and doesn't try very hard. I let him choose which of the two books he wanted to read today, so he was a little more excited and he wanted to write about the Wayside stories. I gave them both a little present today: pencils, stickers, and gummy lizards. They both liked them.

I'm Stuck!

Yup, I'm stuck at Grand Valley. Math was cancelled, So I'm here 'till I tutor at 11:30, then wait again 'till 3pm for my next class. This kind of grates on my nerves. It's kind of like chewing a mouthful of gravel, or at least having gritty sand grinding in my teeth.

STRESS! I was so stressed out last night I wanted to smash my head into the wall just so I couldn't feel it any more. I was tessalating a shape for my math class. My shape wouldn't tessalate. I tried Four other shapes. Finally one worked. Tutoring was stressful yesterday. Katie stressed out because she didn't have a math sheet she was supposed to do. That stressed me out (although, I am proud to say, I didn't show it). I was up late last night writing a paper.

Thankfully sleep took me rather quickly after I finished.

Screeching, scraping metal! That would be the sound effect to go along with the grating, grinding, grity gravel.

La-Dee-Da

I tutored for the first time today. It went ok. I didn't have much time to prepare and I could tell. I could have done some things differently. Tomorrow I'm going to see each boy separately for a half hour each.

I have a lot of homework today. Two math papers, and a movie review. I need to email my diversity prof. my late observation paper! I got my muffler fixed for free the other day though. Now I just need to go to the dentist and the doctor and those nagging voices of unfinished obligations can stop. For a (short) time that is.



Just walkin' along, enjoying life.

Hurricane, Hurricane!

I just made a five-day lesson plan on hurricanes using The Magic School Bus: Inside A Hurricane as my Literature. I also found hurricane simulation on the National Geographic website. It's very cool!

Click HERE to create your own Hurricane!

Fall Is Here!!!

It's Fall! I saw some of the coolest trees today while driving. One was bright, blazing Orange on one side and dark bare Brown stretching up to the sky on the other side. It was the perfect picture of fall. My Diversity class was cancelled today, but I have to wait around for my next class at 6pm. Bummer.

I failed my math test! I got a 59.9%. I don't feel too bad because the girl next to me got a 60.8%, and the girl across from me wouldn't even tell me what she got. It is also only 13% of our grade, so hopefully I will make up the points elsewhere. I have a C in the class right now.

I will be tutoring every day this week! I observed for the last time today. I have to get 12 more hours in befor the end of the semester. I'm a little bummed though because I will be driving 60 miles for an hour worth of work on T and R:(

Today on the way to Grand Valley I decided to pray in my car. I have been really frusterated and angry the past few days about a number of things. I just started out thanking God and declaring His truth even though I totally did not feel it, or see it. As I was doing this, I hit every red light light and had one car roar around me even though I was doing the speed limit. I had every opportunity to slip back into anger, frusteration, and complaining. After about 10 minutes of praying and worshipping, I began to feel the presence of the Lord ministering to me. When I finished, I just drove along in my car without any music or any real thinking. I felt just a restful peace. The entire atmosphere around me had changed! It had been a sacrafice, but the spiritual realm was affected.

Okay, I think I have now used all the colors of fall.

Happy October!

Strange Signs

Have you ever been out driving and seen a billboard or road sign that made no sense, or had a humorous hidden meaning? How about vanity plates? I have found a website that is devoted entirely to this phenomenon. I have added a link to the Strange signs website to my links list. I would also like you to check out a particularly funny sign entitled "speed bump". I hope this site makes you laugh today. It sure made me laugh.

What Hairstyle are You?

Dirty (Messy) Bun

You're the type of person that is kind and
innocent, but you're also very funny and
outgoing. No one can always predict what you're
going to do or say, which is why so many people
like you! You like keeping yourself busy, you
just hate doing nothing! You always make sure
to have a smile on your face--it's your
trademark after all!


What hairstyle suits your personality? (For girls! And with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

LOST.COM News Flash

For anyone who is as obsessed with the LOST series as I am, I found a site that gives some mysterious revelations including picture links. I hope you enjoy it.
LOST.COM News Flash

It's a Grand Valley Day

Yup, and I feel orange today. Not sunny yellow, not blah gray, not vibrant red. I feel mellow and muted orange. I don't really feel that well today, but I feel well enough to exist in the present moment that I am demanded to exist in. I could curl up and sleep though which, when I finish here, I think I will (they have nice couches in kirkhof - real nice!).

Math was ok today (felt kind of orange). Monday was terrible. I had to apoligize to my math partner today for my behavior on Monday. Last week I cried in my math prof's office (Well, it wasn't exactly about math, but maybe aggravated by math. Yes, that's it.). I have a math test next Monday. Friday Math is cancelled. Math is a series of ups and downs. I don't know whether to cry or cheer.

My right thumb has been twitching strangely today.

My last presentation will be given at 3pm today. This is midterm week ya' know. Then I'll be done.

I forgot about an observation that's due today. I'll have to turn it in late. I tried to make a last ditch effort to do it, but schools are doing MEAPs right now and can't have observers. It's my own fault I missed it.

One more thing. I decided to be friendly again today. I try to do that every once in awhile. I said "hi" to three random people on the way to class. I got a return smile, but no return "hi"! What if I just wanted someone to say "hi" to me? Then I was bitterly disappointed.

Thankfully, I feel orange today and I was amused by it rather than bothered.

The Saga Continues

Worship went well this morning. I love the team of people I work with. Each person adds such a unique dynamic to the group. The band is so talented and versatile. Jeff C. winged a solo on his guitar for the offering. I had one song on the list that the band didn't really know and the harmony wasn't sure of. I told them not to worry, that we would sing without music. We ran through it a few times and the band picked up on it, and the harmony got their parts! I was amazed.

I could have led them farther today. When we finished the last song, I sensed they could have gone farther, even wanted to go farther. This week they were not waiting for a let-down. I could have led them farther.

Barak will be back a week from this Wednesday. He called from the Bahamas wondering how things were going. He was concerned about me he said. I told him there was no reason to be concerned and to enjoy his vacation.

Next week, Sunday morning, Rick has offered to lead worship with the youth band to give us a break.

Projects for classes are starting to pile up and come due. With it the stress is mounting. Ah, the wonderful world of college!

The Reality of Worship

You know, I believe I have a special grace while Barak is gone. I pray for it. I always ask for a double portion of grace and a double portion of anointing. And God gives it to me!

Sunday went great! I wasn't nervous at all. This was the first time that I felt completely comfortable with leading the whole "show" (it's not really a show, but you get the idea). It was amazing. It was God. Most importantly, the presence of the Lord came. It was so wonderful!

I am realizing that one part of leading worship is teaching people how to worship. Toward the end of worship time Sunday morning. I was leading people in what I call "high praise" where the music is still playing, but you are singing a new song to God. Where everyone is just crying out and singing to God in their own way and with their own song. I love this place in worship because it is the most intimate with God. The people were doing great. I could hear them worshipping. However, I could feel them waiting for the letdown, worshipping with one eye open, not completely lost in worship, lost in his presence. It is because we are not used to that kind of worship. It is "inner court" worship. When Pastor came up, they immediately (out of habit) began to shift gears to the next thing, but pastor encouraged them to not stop and they continued.

Yesterday, Monday, I had an awful day. For no particular reason. I was tired and frusterated. At one point I could taste it. Have you ever hit your funny bone and then got a funny taste at the back of your throat? That's what it was like. It was either 'cause I had a really big weekend, or the enemy was really mad. Even when I woke up this morning I felt a strange sense that I should be worried about something, or I've done something wrong. But there is nothing. I shouldn't be surprised. After the Lord uses me to do something, I often experience a fight against my spirit. I guess that means I did something right! It makes satan really mad.

I have to keep my spirit filled up with God's presence. Yesterday I just kept declaring, "The joy of the Lord is my strength". The same is for today.

The Cost of Worship

Christian. Yes, Christian. He saved the day last year when Barak left. I convinced Barak of letting Christian play in the band so that he could step in and add more acoustic especially when Barak plays one of his electrics. Barak listens to me. He values my opinion. Christian joined the band. I was happy. Wednesday I wanted to strangle Christian.

I made the effort to call him and ask to pick out songs with him so he could feel comfortable (and for my peace of mind). I drove from Grand Valley to home in a torrential rain storm. I had not eaten and was starving. I got there early, picked out all the songs, then went looking for him. I found him, asked if he was done with the youth band, and told him I'd meet him in the office. He nodded. He never came. I had to be to my brother's house by 9 to watch LOST. I made sure Christian had really left, and then left myself feeling really frusterated and angry. LOST helped take my mind off things for awhile (I love that show).

The next day I spent some time with God. I was struggling with some personal things and then angry with Christian on top of it all. I decided to give it all to God. I can't control Christian or anyone else. I will do a good job but, not because I have Christian, or a great band. Things will go well because I am going to worship God and his presence will show up.

You know, I really love leading worship. It is so much fun. Sure, there are times when it's really hard, and I am just sweating bullets under the heat of the spotlights, but nothing can compare with the anointing I experience, or the Spirit of God as He comes. I have experienced some of the most fulfilling moments leading worship. My entire being is alive and I feel I am doing what I was created to do. Sometimes I worship so hard I think I might explode.

Leading worship is extremely exhausting. Most of the time when I finish I feel competely physically and emotionally drained. I invest so much of myself when I do it. You can imagine then how I might feel when people don't really enter into worship with me. When people do worship it draws out the anointing in me and causes me to worship and sing better than ever. I think that's why I love doing special events like conferences. There is a fresh crowd excited by the "newness" of the worship exerience with us. It's the old crowd that are so used to us that they sometimes forget the reason for and cost of our worship.

Worship, just worship.