Mary Talks

mary says hi

This flower is very romantic. This tree is nature. Christmas is about Christ.

Oasis! Yes this is my idea of an oasis from cold weather. 

Oasis

I dont't know, it just sounds nice doesn't it: Oasis! Well, I have had some realizations as of late (drum roll please). I feel like I have closed my eyes for what only felt like a moment, but upon re-opening them have discovered that an alarming amount of time has passed. I have awakened to find that I have shut out the world around me. I am insulated in my own world of hurry-scurry and inflated affairs. I have become so busy-with-my-eyes-to-the-ground that I have lost sight of what really matters. I only extend out of myself when necessary. I have seen the ill effects of this paralyzing complacency begin to entwine and choke me.

My ability to interact with others has been weakened. My boldness and confidence in classes and in other situations has waned. But, the real crime is that I have let it go without a fight. Not only is this a great personal tragedy, but also a Kingdom tragedy in that I am too closed to share the love of Christ in the marketplace by being open and loving to all. Our society drives us into a selfish shell. I have been mislead and entrapped. Thankfully, I have grace. Though painful I am taking some steps to open myself up to others again, and not be so comsumed with my spinning world.

God has been leading me to appeal to him as my Father. I know him as my Lord, Savior, Lover of my soul etc. But to KNOW him as my Father is a new revelation for me. It is completely his heart toward us. Knowing him as my Father means I have certain rights to him that others don't. It means I have an appeal, a hold on him that others don't. It means that my cry MOVES his Father heart in a way that any other cry would not. It means that even if I'm not completely innocent, when the accuser comes, I have a legal right to hide behind him: And my Father takes care of it. Grace, mercy, and favor are included in this. It is a very exciting revelation.

Philipians 3:12-14

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Mmm...ugh

I wasn't feeling very well today. I woke up at 3:45 this morning with a terrible stomach ache. The rest of the day I've felt under the weather. I think it might have been a touch of the flu (and I was just saying to myself the other day how I never get sick!). Most of the homework I have for classes is reading though, so I laid around reading "The Ilead" for my life's journey class.

I bought my plane ticket for the True North Leadership Seminar in Chicago yesterday. This will be on March 19th. There will be sessions, some trust scenarios, a two minute speech of each participant, confrontation scenarios etc. All this will determine my leadership position on my possible mission trip this summer. I am looking forward to it, but would appreciate your prayers as it will be a stretching and challenging experience.

Its a Good Day

Yes it is. It was grey today, but had a spring-feel. It is cooling off though and snow is in the forecast. Michigan weather is so tricky. I went to the church to pray this morning like I do every Tuesday. I almost didn't because I woke up late and felt sluggish. I forced myself however and I am so glad I did. There were three of us today and Jackie and I prayed together and ministered to each other. I think it was my pastor who came in and laid his hand on Jackie's head. When he did so, I felt an incredible power of God flow into me and I began to weep. He came over and laid his hand on my head and the power increased. I was amazed and my spirit felt cleansed, refreshed, and strengthened. It reminded me what an incredibly powerful God that I serve. He is so incredibly real and powerful. It also challenged me to allow God to use me and flow through me in such a way.

I am reading a book right now (I know, I don't usually read anything but textbooks, but I made an exception) called He Came To Set the Captives Free by Rebecca Brown. In it her friend Elaine writes and shares how God set her free. She was the high priestess in The Brotherhood, the largest and fastest growing satanic church in the United States. She also became the top bride of satan in the nation. Her story is hair-raising. I started reading this book after a friend told me about it because I am greatly concerned about the influence of witchcraft upon children. Most families and children are ignorant of the influence and see it as harmless. However, I have seen some things that greatly disturb me. This book exposes the enemy, points out open doorways caused by sin or ignorance, and gives scriptures on spiritual warfare. It has been challenging me so much. Its exciting. If you are looking for a book to challenge your faith and deepen your understanding of spiritual warfare I would recomend this book, however, it is not for the faint hearted.

I have a lot in my heart today I guess. I have decided that no matter how many times I fail God, I will rise up. Where sin abounds, his grace abounds more. It is grace-God's unmeritted favor.

Wow!

Last Thursday I had a sort of God moment while walking the GV campus on my way to the next class. I noticed that with all the leaves off the trees, I could see a path with a few benches along it. In the summer this is completely hidden by the trees and I never would have known about it had someone not showed it to me. It is completely exposed, however, because of the bare trees. All of a sudden, I had a flash of worry about how the leaves were going to grow back. In that split second, in my mind, I could not think of how they could grow back. I had a picture of myself trying to make the leaves grow back. Its silly of course and the thought came to me that it is not mine to worry about. I cannot make the leaves grow back by worrying about it. Whether I worry about it or not, they will grow back. I think the Lord showed me that I am worrying about things in my life that are not mine to worry about, they are his worry. My worry of them will not change the season. I am to trust him. Truly making leaves grow back on trees is way beyond me. It would be foolish of me to attempt it. So, it is foolish of me to worry about seasons in my life and how they will happen. It is beyond me and not mine to worry about!

It Feels Like Spring!

We are having a heat wave here in Michigan. Yes, it is 40 degrees. The sun has been shinning all day and I can see the blue sky. It has been wonderful! I took Mary to the State Park to the Block House. It was locked, but we found a grassy spot in the sunshine with a few trees and ate chocolate chip cookies. Then, we drove a ways down to the beach. We followed tracks in the sand, Mary made her own tracks, we collected cool rocks, and watched the waves break over the icy shore.

I have my work cut out for me this weekend. I have a critical paper to write, a ton of internet projects and a power point project for my computer class, and I need to study over my music: meter and beaming. Its very mathematical. I never liked math well. I did let myself get behind last weekend so I scrambled a bit this week on turning in assignments:( I always have such good intentions.

Do you like my Calvin and Hobbes? He is my favorite comic. And yes, thank you, I did learn how to post pictures. If you would like, you may comment under the picture on what "twisted forms" winter takes in your life. One of mine is static hair. I've been wearing it in a braid for the past three days because I'm just so sick of the static.

Hi...am I on?...

The effects of winter take many twisted forms. 

Another Winters Day Gone By

Thank goodness its almost over! I really do not like being cold. I drove to Grand Valley for classes today. Driving was uneventful-I'm afraid I even zoned out a bit while on the road. I acually commented in class today which I try to avoid, but know I need to do more. I don't think I have very good things to say and its difficult to formulate amazing statements on the spot. But, if I keep trying, forcing myself to lay down my pride and actively learn, I will do better. Leanring is a risk. I actually had a flashback from third grade today during this class. I had a teacher that, when I raised my hand to answer a question (alright so I had thought about the question awhile and raised my hand just as the rest of the class had moved along to something else) and the teacher corrected me on something I said wrong and the rest of the group laughed at me. It still affects me today. I will have to remember when I am a teacher to be careful how I treat my children.

I have a bit of homework befor Thursday classes descend upon me. I am trying to keep up with my work to avoid that horrible constant nagging panic and oppression that comes with a stressful semester. God give me grace!