Exhale

New Website!

2008-11-13T10:37:00.003-05:00

All forthcoming posts will be posted to www.friendship-caught-on-fire.blogspot.com. Don't miss out on the events, humor, ups, downs, trials, joys, everyday extraordinary as Mike and Steph embark on the adventure of a life together. It won't be the same if you don't join us for the journey!

I'm Getting Married!!!

2008-08-20T15:06:00.007-04:00

I truly and honestly thought it would never happen!

My 20's have been about pursuing my dreams and I can't say I regret any of it. I travelled, got my Bachelors degree, began pursuing my career, lived and survived on my own, got to know myself and what I want in life (which is ever-changing), and shattered some of my mental confinements. I thought that it was very possible I may not be suited for marriage.

And then I met Mike.

He constantly amazes me! He lives life alongside of me; supporting me, encouraging me, laughing and goofing off with me, dreaming and planning with me, carrying the weight of my world on his shoulders.
I've never met anyone like him who makes me feel beautiful even though I'm not wearing any make-up, who has told me that my attitude and who I am on the inside is what makes me beautiful. I've never met anyone who is so patient and considerate of me, who listens to not only what my words say, but what my heart says.
I love it that he works out, is a good cook, has his own house, is a good provider, loves to camp, will listen to classical music one day and hard rock the next, has the perfect balance of goofiness and seriousness, is organized, is clean (for a guy!), loves his job, is good at building things, and can fix stuff.

I feel insanely lucky! I look forward to the adventure of our lives together!

Exhale Update!

2008-03-22T22:00:00.009-04:00

Well boys and girls, it has been a very long time since I showed any sign of life around here! Today is your lucky day though! I'm going to attempt to fill in the last few months for you. I know your imaginations have been running wild, wondering what I've been up to. Imagine no more!

Work: I'll start off with the biggest portion of my daily life, namely work, which is really quite sad, yet exciting on the other hand because my work is also my career, my profession, one of my life passions! Things have been going very well, if not extremely fast! I only have a couple more weeks of working with my students before we do end of the year testing and then project term for the last month of school. I will be teaching two project term classes: An art class and a detective class. Students can sign up for whatever fun classes they want to take for the whole last month of school, which really makes sense if you can remember what the last month of school was like when you were a kid! I am also applying for the new 4th/5th grade teaching position that has been posted. Interviews will begin in April. I have to admit I'm a little nervous about the whole interview thing again! I've done my best and I have a wonderful raport with my colleagues, but I'm still a little nervous.

Work-out: Another category of my life with the word work in it! Hmmm. I've started taking a new kickboxing class! I absolutely love it. There is more instruction involved in this particular class than I have experienced before. It is an amazing way to get out some aggression! I bought pink training gloves! A portion of my money automatically went to the breast cancer research foundation. I am such a great person! I should get a LIFE card for that. (Anybody ever play the game LIFE? If you do something good you get to take a LIFE card.) I borrowed some gloves at the last class, and boy do they get sweaty! It will be nice to sweat in my own gloves and know I'm not sharing someone else's sweat! I managed to bruise a knuckle anyway though.

Spa: I've been spending quite a bit of time (and money) at the spa lately. I found an amazing place called Personal Palette in Holland that is a full service spa and shop. I received an amazing service called a "color analysis". It has to do with the skin's natural undertone and how it is affected by color. For instance, certain colors next to your face can make you look pale, while other colors really bring out your eyes or give your skin a natural glow. I also got a facial and make-up included in that service. I bought some mineral make-up there, which is the new revolution in make-up because the minerals do not hold bacteria making the make-up healthier for your skin. I will be getting a "Divine Facial" next month, which will be 90 minutes long! I am so looking forward to that.

Home: I have to be out of my place by May 14th. It's sad that it is coming to an end. I've loved living on my own. I will again, of course, but I will be displaced for awhile. My parents (especially mom) will be glad to have me home with them for awhile though.

The major details have been related. I hope you are satisfied. If not, then give me a call and we'll chat.

LOST Fever

2008-01-06T16:49:00.000-05:00

The following posts are in preparation for the exciting premier of LOST season four on January 31st! You won't want to miss the exciting event to come!!

LOST Season 4!

2008-01-06T16:47:00.000-05:00

The season 4 promo video! Hip Hooray! What did the last episode on season 3 mean anyway?

Only Fools Are Enslaved By Time and Space

2008-01-06T16:33:00.001-05:00

When the brainwashing scene from season 3 is played backwards, a voice is heard reapeating the chilling, if not puzzling, phrase "Only fools are enslaved by time and space". Is it a clue to the mysterious nature of the island?

The actual brainwashing movie used by The Others! WARNING: Watch with caution!

Lost Plane Crash

2008-01-06T16:29:00.000-05:00

Scenes of the plane crash have been cleverly edited from every possible angle lending continuity to the cataclysmic event that changed the lives of so many fictional characters!
\

Happy Birthday to Me...

2007-12-26T11:24:00.000-05:00

Twenty-eight years have slipped by.

Settled

2007-11-01T20:22:00.000-04:00

A settled feeling has finally descended upon me. The boxes are unpacked, new routines have replaced old ones, and survival has give way to thriving. I’ve learned that my idea of change is somewhat unrealistic. It is slow and gradual, not instantaneous as I would have it. Real change, slow change, is lasting though, and so I wait for it like one waits for the gentle, painstaking unfolding of a new flower.

A Lethal Weapon

2007-10-15T09:04:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I learned how to break a rapists arm in one single, surprise move!

Farewell

2007-10-06T07:54:00.001-04:00

It is moving day! Rather, it is moving day #2. Yesterday I, along with the much appreciated help of a few others, took some things to the house. Today I will pack up my remaining worldly possessions and make the final transition. It is with mixed emotions that I say farewell to many creature comforts that I have grown so accustomed to.

Farewell to groceries magically appearing in the refrigerator.

Farewell to dad always checking up on my car and servicing it for free in the driveway.

Farewell to elaborate dinners spread before me with no effort on my part.

Farewell to sharing a bathroom with a filthy guy. (It's not that my brother is filthy, it's his habits that are filthy).

Farewell to strange odors thinly masked by incence which test the gag reflexes. (Simply filthy).

Farewell to overhearing a constant Spanish study session by my parents. (I really am proud of them).

Farewell to having someone around to talk to or laugh with most of the time.

Farewell to LOST nights in (my old) town.

Farewell to intense kickboxing with Heather.

Farewell to my workout buddies at the Y.

I have many new things to say hello to that surpass the farewells however:

Hello to choosing what food I will buy and eat.

Hello to new friends and activities.

Hello to my own schedule that doesn't clash with someone else's schedule.

Hello to entertaining friends in my own place.

Hello to talking out loud to myself without anyone evesdropping on the conversation! ;-)

Hello to the satisfaction of budgeting my money and surviving!

Hello to never again explaining why I am still living with my parents. (At least I hope never again).

I'm sure there will be many more things I will say hello to in my new life, but because it is just beginning I have no idea what they are yet! The only things I refuse to say farewell to are my friends and my family. These two treasures I take with me wherever I go.

Montessorian

2007-09-29T22:30:00.000-04:00

Now that Scantron testing is finished I have been able to meet and work with my students. I absolutely LOVE planning lessons and materials to teach concepts to my students. I have been having so much fun all week pulling out resources and planning and giving mini lessons! Words cannot describe how satisfying and...fun it is for me. I am meeting with students four days a week in groups of three or four. I have divided my week up with math on Monday, writing on Tuesday, reading on Wednesday, and the remaining math students on Thursday. Friday is my open day. I also teach a computer class on Monday and Wednesday afternoons!

Just for grins I would like to share with you one of the Montessori math materials that are used to concretely teach the abstract concept of multiplication:

This is called the Multiplication Checkerboard. It is used to do short and long multiplication. The first green square on the right is the ones place, the blue square to the left is the tens, the red is the hundreds. The next green is the thousands place, then ten thousands, then hundred thousands. These colors represent the place value system throughout Montessori math. The numbers are placed on the right edge and bottom edge of the board. Numbers are multiplied and bead bars are placed in the appropriate squares. The only rule is that at the end, only one bead bar can be in each square. There is a lot of combining and exchanging, and sometimes sliding. When a student begins to move toward abstraction, the process is recorded in the form we normally see it written out in. This is a little tricky to learn in the first exposure especially if you have already been taught the abstract way. It is quite fun to do though!

December 11

2007-09-26T21:11:00.000-04:00

Take note.

Mark it on your calendar.

Besides marking another year in the joyous existence of my btother Dave's life, this is the date that LOST season three will hit the stores. For anyone who missed an episode (or two, or three) this is exciting news. This is also exciting news for any die hard fan (and believe me with the way the show is going we're dying a slow and painful death) who knows the wait for a new episode will stretch on into February! It is a relief to have bonus material to look forward to and the opportunity to search for easter eggs in episodes gone by. So, I will dutifully make my way to Best Buy on December 11th, purchase season 3, and add it to my collection. For all those who wish to revel in secret LOST conspiracy and so ease the pain of prolonged endurance, parties will commence soon thereafter.

Postponed?!

2007-09-22T19:48:00.000-04:00

The women’s personal safety class, which I was greatly looking forward to, has been postponed due to lack of enrollment! Lack of enrollment! I find this absurd. I find it so because personal safety is one thing that women should be skilled in, but never invest in until it’s too late. I’ve heard many stories of women who have been battered and raped, and live to tell their stories preaching to women everywhere to be safe. After the ordeal, they do all they can to equip themselves so there will never be a next time. What would a little prevention have done to change the outcome of their situations? Of course I realize that there are situations when a woman does all she can and things still go very wrong, but we may be able to avoid many dangerous situations by simply being alert. It also doesn’t hurt to know a few moves.

My mom received an email some time ago about a woman shopping at the mall who returned to her car to find she had a flat tire. She was approached by a man dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase. He offered to fix her tire and did so. Afterwards, he told her that his car was on the other side of the parking lot and asked if she could give him a ride. She felt a bit obligated after his kindness, but thought this was a little strange and asked how he ended up on the other side of the parking lot. He told her he’d met a friend inside and then exited the wrong door. She then realized that his briefcase had been closed in her trunk. She asked him to wait in the car while she returned for something she had “forgotten”. Inside the mall she found a security guard and returned with him to her car. The man was gone, but looking inside his briefcase they found duct tape and rope!

Thankfully this woman used common sense and paid attention to that little nagging voice inside that warns us of danger!

It still wouldn’t hurt to know some moves!

Home is where...

2007-09-12T19:45:00.000-04:00

I have found lodgings in Holland! I will be moving all my worldly possessions after October 4th! I made an incredible contact, which will allow me to live for a few hundred dollars a month for the school year (then I will hopefully move to Detroit for the rest of my Montessori training during the summer). It is a bit sad to leave behind friends, family, and activities I've grown to love here. I embrace this fresh, new season in my life, however, as a new beginning.

To New Beginnings!

A Noch in the Wood

2007-09-07T17:42:00.000-04:00

I made it through the second week of school! I'm learning students names, building relationships, and taking lots of Dove chocolate perk-me-up moments!! We began Scantron testing this week. Students must take three tests online: Math, reading, and language arts. We will be finished with the upper elementary on monday, then we will begin with the lower elementary. We should be finished testing the entire elementary in another week and a half! This is not the most exciting part of my job. I am looking forward to when I will actually begin working with small groups and one-on-one, and planning lessons for my students.

I got to meet with all of my students to do an informal get-to-know-you though. I introduced myself, gave them a tour of the room (pointing out my report cards from 4th and 5th grade and my classroom rules), and played a game with them. I learned that one certain group of boys will not work together!

I have a very strong lead on new lodgings in Holland, so we'll have to hold our breaths to see how that will turn out.

Three nights this week were eaten away by meetings and events! I've only been able to go to the gym once this entire week! I can't say I was ignorant about the plethora of exhaustive meetings and extra-curricular activities that are demanded of teachers. It just comes with the territory. Unpaid of course.

Instincts

2007-09-02T21:20:00.001-04:00

A free Saturday! The only hitch is that I have to get gas. Grrrrrrrr. Go to the gas station, get it over with. I pull up to the pump and out of the corner of my eye I see a group of guys standing around their truck. As I get out of my car, I try to ignore their stares, grins, and whispered comments. I hold my head up high and strive for the confident, independent look. I purposefully unscrew the gas cap and punch the unleaded button, all the while keenly aware that my every move is being watched. They know I know. They make a few comments to me, nothing obscene, just obnoxiously trying to engage me in conversation. I pretend not to hear. It’s best not to encourage this sort. I finish putting in my measly twenty dollars, and round the car under their careful scrutiny. I grab the door handle and it surprisingly snaps back into place unopened. “Crap!” This has not gone unnoticed in the play-by-play observation of my behavior by the guys and a delighted groan goes up from the group. My instincts, at noticing the group of excited men next to me, caused me to unconsciously lock my door as I shut it behind me with my keys and phone inside. I have no choice now but to turn around, acknowledge them, and ask to borrow a cell phone. One of the dudes asks me if I thought they looked like thugs or something. Gol, I hate being transparent! Of course I deny that and continue on with my confident, un-intimidated charade. Thankfully, I recognize someone else at the station who can give me a ride home. I end up waiting close to an hour, blocking the pump, for AAA to come unlock my car.
My new motto will be: Vigilant, yet calm. I can’t let my well-meant instincts to get me into trouble and embarrassment. I am, however, taking a women’s personal safety course later on this month. It has been something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time, and, obviously, something I need to do very badly.

The Last Frontier

2007-08-19T15:02:00.001-04:00

We made it back from our week cruise in Alaska last Thursday! We had a fabulous time. I mostly spent time in the spa, in the hot tub and sauna, ate food, and looked for adventure on land. I also met a handsome, amazing man on board the ship whose identity must remain anonymous due to the sensitive nature of his job! (How's that for a little mystery?!) Unclassified details of the cruise will now follow in the form of pictoral narration:

I am aboard the Carnival Spirit with a breathtaking view of Alaska behind me:

This is what our ship looked like in port:

Here we are striking it rich in Juneau. Panning for gold is painstaking and addictive (rollin', rollin' at the river!):

In port, the rugged Alaskan terrain brought out the raw adventurer in us:

Time on the ship was spent doing a variety of things like towel folding!! This is a dog:

Even a big ship like us had to be careful of Pirates!:

New

2007-08-04T19:19:00.000-04:00

For those of you who do not yet know (thanks to my mother that leaves mighty few of you), I got a job teaching in Holland! I'm not a full fledged teacher thanks to the over abundance of candidates and scarcity of available positions, but there is room for growth and I have my foot in the door of my choice school! I will be working with struggling students many who qualify for special education. There is a high school and an elementary. I will work with the 4th/5th graders. Here is a picture of the main building and high school:

I will be working in a smaller building wich houses the upper elementary:

I have also been cruising around in a new car which, we (Katie, Mary, and I) have named Summer Girl (as an ode to our summer days together):

Of course when anything new comes about, there is always a death of the old. That is why change is so difficult. My life is changing, has been changing for some time. I am in transition, which is at times depressing. I am missing a lot:

I miss Barak, he was my friend
I miss my girls, whom I have 4 days left with
I miss my cousin
I miss my band, and singing, and leading worship (at times)
I miss having friends I can call up at any time, they are all gone
I miss having a hopeful picture of my future
I miss believing good things will always happen to me
I miss my dreams and expectations, they are shattered

The hardest thing is moving forward.

A Funeral, and a Resurrection

2007-05-24T14:03:00.000-04:00

For the sake of old times, a subtle pang for nostalgia, a hint in the breeze of simpler, more carefree times, I have decided to post. While I doubt that there is anyone out there anymore, or anyone who cares, I do it for the sole purpose that I Can. I am learning again how to do things because I simply want, to for pure enjoyment, rather than Should...Have to. I emerge from the confining restriction of the college cocoon to find I am no longer the same person. It has not been without struggle or price.

I have stepped down from leading worship. It was a hard decision, but a necessary one. I found myself doing it mindlessly, dronelike. It was simply expected. I also find myself looking ahead to my future and realizing my need to re-prioritize. I have severely neglected my Self in the past year and I suffer daily in mind and spirit because of it.

I have been busier since graduating than before! I have been preparing for interviews, creating a portfolio, working and re-working my resume, writing cover letters, organizing, purchasing materials and things I need (I was unable to shop during my last semester, for anything...except gas). I did have one initial interview, which will hopefully result in a second one for a school in Holland.

Charlie is dead. He drown, dying a hero's death. I really liked Charlie. I didn't want him to die. We now have a long wait, until February, for LOST to return. There will be three more seasons, 48 episodes, 16 episodes each season, and every mystery will be revealed. Finally. I won't know what to look forward to after that. My new favorite website is www.stationzer0.com. It has really great easter eggs from episodes, theories, and is easy to comment on. I visit it at least once a week for LOST info.

Alvar Hanso Exposed!

2007-03-11T21:15:00.000-04:00

Here is some shocking insider knowledge of the Dharma Initiative revealed by Alvar Hanso himself!

Hanso Exposed

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A Blogger's Rules

2007-01-03T19:11:00.000-05:00

I have been blogging for some time now and, while I’m no expert, I have learned a few things along the way. I have compiled what I have learned from my experience, and also from reading other various blogs, into a list of what I think are some good rules of blogging, which I try to follow.

Variety- A good blog is one that offers variety to its readers. Let’s face it; people will be much more interested in your blog if you aren’t always talking about the same thing in every post (particularly yourself). The style of posts can also be varied for effect.

95% Lighthearted- Most people can’t handle very much to think about at one time. Especially while reading a post. People like to read about something that is entertaining, not something that makes them think. It is important to make people think, however, so I reserve about 5% of my blogging to do so. If you are going to write something heavy, try to keep it short.

Randomness=Ratings- Generally, the more random the post, the more comments it gets. People love random because they don’t really have to think about it. Random is more entertaining and…lighthearted. It’s also usually funny and people like funny.

Create Community- This is one of the most important aspects of blogging. Blogging is about the readers not the author. If you can create a place that people love to visit, are entertained, and feel valued, they will keep coming back. And they will become valuable contributors to your blog making it much more than you ever could by yourself.

Frequency- The best way to lose readers is to rarely make posts and then do so sporadically. Even if your schedule is incredibly busy, you can still find time to make one post a week. I have posted one liners before while in the grip of finals! If you have to, start a post in Word and work on it whenever you can. Your readers will be grateful.

Length- Another big turn off are extremely lengthy posts usually made to make up for infrequency. It is better to make frequent short posts than long novellas posted few and far between .

Add Ons- Add Ons are like hidden treasure! Shout boxes, links to interesting websites, links to other bloggers (community) are invaluable to a good blog.

Wit and Sarcasm- While writing a post these two things will make the most boring detail sound interesting and funny. Ultimately, if you find what you are writing about interesting and write about it in an interesting way, others will be interested too. No one has a perspective quite like yours, so let them have it!

Pictures- Pictures connect the reader to you and what you are saying. Pictures are like windows into the mind and life of the author. This aspect of blogging should not be underestimated. I also like having a separate picture blog so that my readers can get to know me better.

Integrity- Most importantly your blog should be a true expression of yourself. Find what you love, what you find interesting, and share it with others. Whatever you blog should also be your own creation unless you properly cite who you are borrowing from. Borrowing should probably be kept down to 5% too.

Politics Schmolitics

2006-12-26T22:15:00.000-05:00

My family prides itself on its political aloofness. Some would call it ignorance, but the truth is we just protect ourselves. We don’t subscribe to any newspapers, listen to much of any radio, and have never had a television (we’re movie people). The news we hear is usually second hand from someone else who takes it upon themselves to fill us in on all the details. The world could go to war and we would barely know about it. As long as we have food, water, guns, and ammo, we’re ok. We’re happy people.

College has changed me some. I see the need to know what’s going on in the world around me. I try to help my family see that too. When I do though, I usually get a speech on how “they” are trying to take away our rights and most importantly our guns or I am met with ambivalence. This explains my own ambivalence toward politics. I often see both sides of an issue and then exhaust myself by going in circles. The result is that I am not confident of any thoughts I may have politically and therefore try to stay away from discussing such things.

It is a wonder then how I came to work for one of the most politically active families in my city. They are active in campaigning and in the community, practice law, and now one presides as judge of the 60th district court! They have had a positive influence on my political weakness. I benefit from their political savvy by reading the paper (ok, mostly Dear Abby) and even Newsweek on occasion.

In fact, I read an article recently in Newsweek that talked about the Democratic Party’s 2008 Presidential candidate nominees: Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, an Illinois Senator. The amazing thing being that one is a woman and the other is black. The question posed was; is America ready for such a president? Are we ready for a woman President? Are we ready for an African American President? It will certainly be a momentous election in 2008 no matter what the outcome of the Democrat’s nominations. I’m not sure what the Republican Party will do as I have heard nothing of their candidates for the upcoming election. I find it interesting in a sensational way. And now as my political insecurity begins creeping up on me, I end this post.

My Cup Runneth Over

2006-12-09T13:45:00.000-05:00

You may remember that on my To Do list, Dec. 8th was when things wrapped up. I am so lucky and blessed that it is not the case for me. I get to spend one last day with my students on monday as my cooperating teacher was absent Dec 8th. I also have not even begun writing my research paper, so I can work on it throughout the next week. I will work madly today, which will hopefully result in a rough draft. I'm not an English major for nothing you know. Then I get to present my findings to an enraptured audience on thursday. I also get to meet once more with my reading assessment class to "go over anything we didn't have time to do over the last 14 weeks". I also get to take on the full responsibility of leading worship twice this sunday without my two main musicians! What a great opportunity to stretch my faith and trust in God. I have taken note that life stress has caused me to gain weight this semester also. Yes, I can say without a doubt, "My cup runneth over."

Snow Day!

2006-12-01T09:33:00.000-05:00

Today is the first Snow Day of the year! We have officially left warm weather behind and are heading into the blinding white of an another endless winter. Our world is changing. Ahead there is snowboarding to be done, snowmen to build, and goodies to bake. There are holiday get-togethers, memories to make, and celebrations to participate in. We may witness the closing of chapters, let go of things we hold dear, and embrace change to our inner worlds.

For now, we seize the season. Let it Snow!

...and Inhale!

2006-11-24T20:02:00.000-05:00

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I spent most of The Day frantically preparing to meet the numerous deadlines of next week. We had good food though.

I finally got my hair cut!
You may notice it is slightly shorter. Most of you will notice no difference at all. I'm just glad for my own sake that it is done.

I got my winter placement! I will be teaching in a Kindergarten class. It will be a big jump from 5th, but I am looking forward to it.

That is all.

Exhalian Proverb

2006-11-18T11:13:00.000-05:00

An ancient Exhalian Proverb says, “It is better to see a goose than a swan”. Spoken by a 21st century philosopher, it is a phrase of timeless wisdom, which should be heeded by all. As the story goes, the philosopher, observing nature from a quiet country road, spied a glassy calm pond surrounded by fowl. Among the fowl she noticed beautiful white birds of serenity. Thinking they were Swans to be admired and cherished she cried out in wonderment, “Swans!” Having a mind of keen scrutiny, however, a closer look revealed that the birds were not Swans, but rather Geese. The philosopher said to herself, “Ah! It would have been better to see the Goose as it was and accept it than to see a Swan only to realize the truth and be disappointed”. This brought about a profound revelation to the philosopher: In life it is better to see things for what they are than to see them for what one would wish them be.

The experience drove the philosopher into a period of seclusion from which she emerged and opened her own monastery. She called the monastery “The Way of Nature’s Realism”. On a plaque above the door was written: This world has no room for the idealist or the dreamer. Even nature has its way of kicking the idealist to the curb and delighting in it. Only the realists survive.

The monastery attracted many followers who, like the philosopher, had finally been crushed by life’s repeated mockery and disappointments. They devoted the rest of their days to living realistic lives free from the poisonous venom of idealism.

Hush

2006-11-11T11:52:00.000-05:00

Our auditory health is extremely important given the fact that we only get one pair of ears during our lifetime. Like food dieting, we should regulate our intake of noise very carefully to assure optimal auditory health well into our old age. Unless you want to deal with hearing aids and constant repetition of statements by the steadily growing annoyed speakers surrounding you. Here is a healthy list of sound according to decibels to regulate your sound intake during each day (100 dbs or more can hurt your ears):

Barely Audible
Breathing…10
Rustling leaves…20
Whispering…20

Very quiet
Quiet conversation…30
Phone conversation…50

Quiet
Restaurant conversation…60

Loud
Noisy office…70
Vacuum cleaner…70

Possible Hearing Damage
Garbage disposal…80

Hearing Damage After Eight Hours
Busy urban street…90
Food blender…90

Extremely Loud
Jackhammer…100
Power lawn mower…100
Motorcycle…100
Car horn…110
Live rock music…120

Threshold of Pain
Jet takeoff (from 110 yards)…130
Aircraft carrier deck…140

Physical Pain
Jet takeoff (from 27.5 yards)…150
Rocket engine…180

(Information taken from the Scholastic Book of Lists by James Buckley, Jr. and Robert Stremme)

Exhale News Update

2006-11-04T11:17:00.000-05:00

Retraction
The ground breaking case of Chris Knudson vs. The Exhale Blog resulted in a retraction of The Ice Cream Man post, which was first posted in July, earlier this week. The plaintiff, Knudson, complained that the material aforementioned was offensive and inaccurate. An ice cream man himself, Knudson pointed out that, “Not all ice cream men are bad people. Some are, but there are also some teachers who are not nice people either. Almost all of my customers trust me enough to send their kids out alone. I have a safe, fun, clean, reliable, and high-class business.” Mr. Knudson owns Shoreline Shivers, a company dedicated to restoring the nostalgic joy of ice cream to people everywhere. The author of Exhale extends her deepest apologies to Mr. Knudson and was in fact quoted to have said, “Point well taken.”

Countdown Begun
The countdown has officially begun toward the graduation of one of the most self-celebrated bloggers, and long-time college student, Stephenie Luce. With just under 200 days left, Stephenie seeks to enjoy what time she has left and retain what sanity remains. After making a career out of college she is finally ready to move on, although her future plans remain uncertain. Stephenie welcomes everyone and anyone to join in the countdown, which will run continuously at the bottom of the Exhale main page until April 28th: Graduation Day!!

Sigma Tau Delta
An initiation ceremony will take place on December 6, 2006 to welcome new members of the Iota Tau Chapter of Sigma Tau Delta English Honor Society at Grand Valley State University. We are proud to announce that our very own Steph will be amongst those initiated. As a lifetime member of this prestigious society, Steph hopes that she will finally be recognized as having achieved some academic success during the six years she has given to the pursuit of knowledge and career.

Self Smart: A New Approach to Education
Shocking interview with inmate reveals that reading books and college could, "...get you dead."
self smart

Nightmares

2006-10-28T09:51:00.000-04:00

The past couple of nights I have woken up with nightmares about giving my Wednesday 40 minute lesson plan. In my dream Sparbeck is there observing me, all the 5th graders are sitting around me, and I don’t have all my materials! Things are going terribly!!

Yesterday, I thought I would write out all my project due dates because I was feeling a little overwhelmed with all that is due and didn’t want to forget anything. What I found was a possible source for my anxiety and stress. Here is what I saw when I looked at my paper:

Project Due Dates:

Nov. 1 – 40 min. ITIP format lesson plan and observation by Field Coordinator.
Nov. 2 - Observation notes and classroom map that I have been collecting and updating.
Nov. 5 – T/A Application
Nov. 6 – Magic Suitcase (theme that covers 3 subject areas w/ materials, and is portable.)
Nov 7 – Peer Reviewed journal #1 (for research project).
Nov. 8 – Student Assessment and Reflection (assess a student and reflect on findings).
Nov. 9 – Shadow Assignment (shadow a student for a day and write up findings) / Peer Reviewed journal #2.
Nov. 14 – Peer Reviewed journal #3.
Nov. 15 – Present results of Lesson Plan to colleagues (w/ demonstration & media).
Nov. 16 – Management Plan rough draft (includes my management style, brochure for interviews, rules and procedures, 1st day of school materials, 50 teaching tips, etc.).
Nov. 21 – Peer Reviewed journal #4
Dec. 1 – Teacher Certification Application.
Dec. 8 – Last day in Field (fifth grade placement).

This list does not include the dates for:
Interactive Bulletin Board (I create a bulletin board in my 5th grade class).
Folio B (a collection of materials and write up)
Folio C (a collection of materials and write up)
Second 40 min. ITIP Format lesson plan and observation.
Final Research Paper.

These either do not have dates attached yet, they’re just coming up soon, or the dates have been changed and a new one hasn’t been given. This list also does not include my regular homework such as reading chapters, answering questions, and weekly journaling (which I just realized I forgot to do again).

The thought that keeps running through my head is: I won't be able to get my hair done this weekend, or next weekend, or next...

MEAPing

2006-10-22T19:26:00.000-04:00

We are about to embark upon the 3rd week of MEAP testing. I was DONE MEAPing with my 5th graders on the 3rd day! Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings are taken up by The Test. I put two crackers, a cup of juice, and a mint (which is supposed to be a calming influence) on each desk the morning of The Test. No child shall begin The Test hungry. We want them to perform well. After all, school funding is tied to this test.

The children arrive and we begin with gentle pressure, “Hurry up and finish your snack children!” From there we set the clamp, “Turn of all cell phones and digital devices! Make sure your name is on your test! No talking! I cannot read any part of the test to you, or help you on the test! Begin!” Then the children huddle over The Test in agonizing silence. Every once in awhile some poor suffering urchin will look up at me with pleading eyes, and I will smile a compassionate and encouraging smile, “Just do your best!”

Most unsettling are the children who miss school on Test day, or don’t fill in the bubbles correctly. They must then be taken out of regular classroom time on our off days, Monday and Friday.

There is much hype about The Test. Its core purpose is noble. The children are tested over what they learned the year before so teachers can know what needs to be taught to the students in their class in the current year. Unfortunately, they take so long correcting The Test that by the time the results get back to the teachers the school year is over!

There is also a lot of hype about the scores of The Test. We get nervous about how well students in other counties are doing in comparison with ours. Foreign students seem to be testing better than ours. What we aren’t told is that students in other countries are tracked. This means that at an early age the teachers decide if the students are smart enough to go on to college. If they aren’t, they are put on a vocational track and are never tested. The brilliant students go on to advanced courses and college preparation. They are tested, and these are the scores we are comparing ALL of out children to. We test everyone. We test the emotionally and cognitively impaired for goodness sake! That affects our scores.

Look at the numbers, but be aware of how those numbers are decided upon.

Now as a reward for reading all of that, here are some pictures of my 5th grade classroom:

I sit in the chair next to the overhead to do brain boosters with the kids each morning. Except when we MEAP of course. I write the answers on the overhead as we go over them, and of course a screen is pulled down at that time.

This is the Library corner. As you can see the kids have lots of comfortable seats to choose from.

We started the year with desks in groups. For the MEAP we split them up into rows. We may keep them in rows for the rest of the marking period. Some kids can concentrate better if they're not in groups all the time.

This is the other side of the room, closest to the door.

Dear Friends, Faithful Readers, Family, Passers-by,

2006-10-19T07:44:00.000-04:00

I meant to post for you on Monday, or Tuesday. Alas, my good intentions failed me. This has been (and still is as Thursdays are my busiest days) a busy and difficult week. As it is, my weekly online journaling for one of my classes completely slipped my mind for the past two weeks. I even get motivational points toward my grade for that one! I didn't sleep in my own home a couple nights this week, the children were terrors in my class one of those days, yesterday I was sick, and today is Thursday (my longest, hardest day). Usually by Thursday I am done living. Fridays are better. My students do centers, which are mostly fun, I see my girls I nanny, and the week leaves me in one long Exhale.

I'm supposed to be at the school in 10 minutes or so. I still need to dry my hair, brush my teeth, put on make-up, find my shoes...

Vanity

2006-10-09T16:37:00.000-04:00

I can’t seem to get my hair done. I’ve been attempting it for over a month now. Part of the problem lies in the fact that I’m distracted with other things, and part with the busyness of schedules. I called my hairdresser, who is also my good friend, in August, but she was on vacation. I got busy with the semester. Then I talked to her a week or two ago. I got busy with some class projects. Then I talked to her yesterday. Then I called and left a message today. There is still no date for a hair appointment. She is the mother of three young children. I am a full-time college student with a part-time job and part-time internship. Needless to say we’re having a little difficulty negotiating schedules.

I’m about to go crazy. My hair is driving me nuts. I simply need a cut and low-lights. On Saturday I went to have my eyebrows and upper lip waxed, which puts the pain and price of beauty into perspective very quickly, but the studio’s schedule was all full for the day. So now here I sit in my tower, an ugly hag, waiting to be rescued by a capable beautician.

If I can’t get my beauty appointment, I have only one course of action open to me: Redefine the Standard of Beauty!

Look out!

(Don't laugh because this may happen to you one day, and you will think back to this post, feel guilty for laughing, and regret it. )

Bring Me the Sky!

2006-10-03T13:42:00.000-04:00

I flew an airplane this weekend! I flew in a couple circles like a big lazy bird and then in a nice straight line (following a ribbon of road beneath me), until I finally gave the controls back to the pilot. It was quite a breathless feeling. Sorta like I couldn't breathe. It was very exciting!

I hung out with Daniel, who was home from Africa en route to Afghanistan, and Issy, both old friends from my TM Texas days. I spent a little time driving around in Holland trying to figure out where the heck I was going in the middle of a rain storm with Daniel giving me orders from the passenger seat. I was driving like a bat out of Hades and almost caused an accident once or twice, but I really can't take all the blame. I was excited to see my friend, more intent on catching up, and talking on the cell to organize our plans with our other friends. I imagine my friends think I'm an insane driver, but I really am not. It's just when you combine friends, a new city, rain, and cell phones that things get a little hairy.

Actually, I did a better job of flying the airplane than driving my car.

The Lady of Shalott

2006-09-23T21:22:00.000-04:00

…Four grey walls, and four grey towers, Overlook a space of flowers, And the silent isle imbowers The Lady of Shalott…

…There she weaves by night and day A magic web with colours gay. She has heard a whisper say, A curse is on her if she stay To look down to Camelot. She knows not what the curse may be, And so she weaveth steadily, And little other care hath she, The Lady of Shalott.
And moving through a mirror clear That hangs before her all the year, Shadows of the world appear. There she sees the highway near Winding down to Camelot;…

…And sometimes through the mirror blue The knights come riding two and two. She hath no loyal Knight and true, The Lady of Shalott…

…"I am half sick of shadows," said The Lady of Shalott…

…She left the web, she left the loom, She made three paces through the room, She saw the water-lily bloom, She saw the helmet and the plume, She look'd down to Camelot. Out flew the web and floated wide; The mirror crack'd from side to side; "The curse is come upon me," cried The Lady of Shalott…

…Down she came and found a boat Beneath a willow left afloat, And around about the prow she wrote The Lady of Shalott…

…And at the closing of the day She loosed the chain, and down she lay; The broad stream bore her far away, The Lady of Shalott…

Excerpts taken From Lord Alfred Tennyson's "The Lady of Shalott".

The Lady of Shalott was locked in a tower. She was cursed in that she could never look directly out the window. Everything she saw happening outside was through a reflection in the mirror, which she in turn weaved into her web. One day, however, she noticed Sir Lancelott and the sight of him caused her to leave her weaving and look out the window. Immediately the curse befell her. She knew it, and left the tower, floating down the river in a boat as she slowly died.

Too Much to Think About

2006-09-16T13:59:00.000-04:00

I have too much to think about. I actually get lost sometimes because one thing will lead to the thought or inspiration of another thing and I'll get distracted from what I'm doing. I think it has to do with the intense focus of the Education Program. Sometimes I'm just mentally exhausted. I can only drive so hard for so long. I got a free book the other day. For my future classroom. Ok, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, too much to think about. Not hard, just a lot... a lot all at once...a lot to process...a lot to organize...a lot to think about, and plan ahead about...and I know I'm rambling, but this is all that's left of my poor emaciated mental capabilities.

The kids in my class are great.
My classes are great.
My cooperating teacher is great.
My homework is great.
And life is just doggone great.

227 Days and Counting.

A Momentous Occasion, Cause for Celebration

2006-09-05T17:47:00.000-04:00

Today is a day of Reckoning for two reasons (hmmm, there’s that number again!). The first, being Teacher Assisting in my class of 22 fifth graders. Overall it was a good experience. I didn’t do much besides observe and take copious notes on all the morning’s activities. The difficulty in observation comes from trying to document the events without being clouded by personal judgments of those events. Personal judgments can rob a person of a true perspective of what is really going on. In order to observe as an insider rather than an outsider, I must document only facts and strings of conversation, and return to those raw observations to record my thoughts, feelings, and impressions of what occurred. That is the theory anyway.

I think this will be a good group of kids to work with and learn from as a future teacher. I really do love being in the classroom. I only had one sketchy moment while I attempted to help some poor girl attach her stretchy book cover over a beat up math book. I think it was too small. It really took some elbow grease, and I attracted a small crowd of children each with a brainy idea on how to get it on. I finally realized that I was in danger of destroying school property and gave up. The temptation to be a hero always must be weighed against the loss of dignity. This particular scenario was much too risky.

The second reason for us to Reckon this day is that it is September 5, 2006, the day LOST: Season Two hits stores. Yes, I have it already. After my lunch with the other teachers (to which I was personally invited), I rushed right over to Best Buy and bought it. For all the hardcore fans out there, I will pass along the new knowledge which I have gleaned from the exclusive bonus features.

Two new websites for the LOST fanatic: The ‘Lost’ Notebook is a plethora of collected facts, and The Fuselage is the official website of the Creative Team of the LOST show. You can check them out as you catch up on season 2 (or 1 if you’re that far behind) and gear up for season three.

Hasn’t this been a nice day?!

*edit And Daniel called from Africa!!!

Hop On the Merry-Go-Round

2006-09-01T16:20:00.000-04:00

Have you ever sat around thinking and reflecting? Minutes turn into hours, hours into days, days into months. You stir and realize that nothing has really changed or been accomplished except that you are now frustrated and in a bad mood. I’ve never been so glad in my life to pull out of a season of reflection and rest than this one. I welcome the busy schedule, the balancing act of assignments and due dates, the research to conduct, the papers to write, the lessons to plan, the projects to execute. My mind will be busy on things that matter (and that I can actually DO something about) and I will once again be moving in some clear direction.

Most of all I will be distracted from the fact that I am steadily moving ever closer to the edge of the unknown. There has always been a plan, a next step, a clear direction of what I should do and where I should go. All that will disappear for me quite soon. I suppose everyone comes to that day at some point in their lives. You arrive there at the edge, but really every choice has lead there. It is the feeling of a free fall. I hope I will be brave enough to dive headfirst over that edge when the moment comes. Maybe something will be there to catch me.

This week I went to class, a Doctors appt., and a CPR/First Aid training. Next week I will start Teacher Assisting, go back to work, and begin assignments. I am so glad I had a week to get into my class schedule before adding assisting and work. I will be observing for the first few days in my 5th grade class I think. I have to draw a map of the classroom and list demographics for one of my classes. That will be my focus for the first couple days.

I have all my classes except one in town and will carpool with my dear friend Angela for the one in GV. Now that I’m in the College of Education the pool of people is much smaller. I know almost everyone in all my classes. The three classes in town are filled with all the same people because everyone wants to save themselves the commute to GV. I’ve never had three classes with all the same people. It got a little tedious when all three professors asked us to share an interesting fact and we had to think up a new fact for each class so we wouldn’t sound boring!

That does it for the boring life update. Consider yourself in the loop.

One and the Same

2006-08-26T12:57:00.000-04:00

The End.

Over, Finished, Done.
Leaving, Good-byeing, Moving on.
Starting, Expecting, Looking ahead.
New, Unseen, Future.

The Beginning.

The end leads to a new beginning, to an end, to a beginning,to an end...

*edit

2006-08-24T20:18:00.000-04:00

Living up to her reputation, Mom has once again taken an event, a story, and told her own version of it. I have, once again, fallen prey to this tendency of hers and in turn subjected you, my dear readers, to its fallacy. This gross misinterpretation of the facts surfaced in The Ice Cream Man post made several weeks ago. A reliable source has revealed that it was not acorns that were used by my brothers in an attempt to buy ice cream, but pine cones. May it stand corrected in the Exhale annals.

Before we build the gallows, let me say that my sympathies are with the trespasser, namely mom, in this case. My decision is greatly influenced by the fact that I have subconcsiously acquired this uncanny ability to manipulate events to my own view point. The first step toward recovery is to admit a discrepancy in oneself. We struggle onward toward perfection. I will no doubt pass on to my children the implicit flaws of my human nature. I pray that I will have mercy upon that day.

A Girl Like Me

2006-08-14T16:34:00.000-04:00

A Girl Like Me

Thanks to Kelsey I have added the video "A Girl Like Me", which prompted my previous post on The Doll Test, to Exhale for your convenient viewing! As a side note, youtube.com allows you to post videos directly to your blog right from their website. It may be a fun way to spice things up around here anyway.

The Doll Test

2006-08-13T21:19:00.000-04:00

In the 1950’s, soon after Brown vs. Board of Education desegregated schools, Dr. Kenneth Clark performed a test on young black children. This test consisted of two dolls, one white and the other black. The children were then asked which doll was pretty and which doll was ugly. The overwhelming answer from these children was that the white doll was the pretty one, while the black doll was the ugly one.

In the 50’s racial segregation and discrimination was still very much alive. Think of Dr. Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, and Emmett Till. Nowadays most of us don’t give segregation or discrimination a second thought. We pat ourselves on the back that we have moved past that ugliness, and offer a puzzled expression to the occasional “hate crime” that appears on our college campuses and news headlines. Fifty years isn’t really that long ago. If you were fifty years old, all the major ups and downs on the rollercoaster of race would have happened during your lifetime.

Recently Good Morning America made us aware of a shocking (or maybe not so shocking) truth about the current state of racism in the United States by highlighting Kiri Davis, a young aspiring filmmaker. Kiri made a film called “A Girl Like Me”, which won an award from the Media That Matters Festival. She decided to re-conduct the doll test with young black children. She found a white doll easily, but had an extremely difficult time finding a black doll. Stores simply did not sell them. Once she did find one and performed the test, the results were almost identical to the results 50 years ago. Fifteen out of twenty-one children chose the white doll as the pretty/good doll, while indicating the black doll as ugly/bad. The last little girl shown in the video (which you can download for viewing) was asked which doll looked like her. There was a heart-wrenching pause before she finally pushed the black doll, which she had just indicated as the bad doll, forward.

I was sickened by that image. It shows what our society values as beautiful and good. The black culture is not validated by our media. Just as the media tells a woman that she must be thin and dress a certain way to be beautiful, it says black (unless the features lean toward Caucasian and mainstream English is spoken) is not beautiful. We are concerned about the media effect on gender, so why not color?

I would strongly encourage you to download “A Girl Like Me” and view it, as this post will be much more meaningful if you see it for yourself. If you have dial-up like me it will take some time, but it is well worth it.

Interestingly there is a collection of racial propaganda and memorabilia on the Ferris State campus here in Michigan. It is called The Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia and it's purpose is to show how the media has portrayed and still portrays black people. There is a lot there in the link I've offered, but you can see pictures of some of the items in the museum.

My Mom Rocks!

2006-08-02T21:03:00.000-04:00

She does. I can tell her anything. She's so proud of me. Sometimes she's so proud that she exagerates about my accomplishments and abilities. Like the time I called home while living in Tx to fill her in on everything going on in my life. I told her about the worship CD I helped with by singing in the choir there, then launched into the big news that I would be touring for two weeks with the Newsboys to promote mission trips to concert goers on their tour. She then went right out and told everyone I was going to be a backup singer for the Newsboys! *sigh* I was so embarrassed. But between her pride in me and obvious confusion about the events I spewed out during a short phone call, I guess I can understand her mistake. I did have a bit of work cut out for me undoing that little misunderstanding once I moved back home though. ("So, wow! you were a backup singer for the Newsboys?!" "No...no. I promoted missions. Missions!)

Still, I couldn't ask for a better mom. She is my friend as well as my mother. That is why I announce with great pride that my mother is a blogger! So for all those times she has exuberantly spread mostly true (it really is her point of view) accounts of my latest accomplishments, I say my mom has the rockinest blog ever and everybody should rush right over there and welcome her to the blogosphere: www.pebblesofsand.blogspot.com

Afterall, everything I know about exaggeration I learned from her.

Return from the Wild

2006-07-30T21:04:00.000-04:00

Well, the four of us survived four days of tent camping in (ok near) the woods, but just barely. We had frequent visitations by a very hungry, but polite raccoon. The first night he visited it was right outside the tent flap where we had conveniently left our garbage for him. The second time was at the edge of the woods where we had left old fruit we didn’t want. We only became aware of his presence that time because of a strange echoing, sneeze-like sound he was making. I’m not sure if that’s the sound raccoons make (I’ve never heard one before), or if he was allergic to something. It was quite creepy in the pitch dark hearing that before realizing it was him. We also were made aware of a potential attack by a very scary creature called Ricky (and his menacing bear suit), but thanks to our off-grounds security guard, Chris, we were saved from a fate worse than torture! Thank you Chris, you will be well paid.

This fifth annual camping excursion I am particularly grateful to my dear friends, who I sadly take for granted, that lived with me for four days, know just how imperfect I am, and love me still.

I don’t have any pictures yet, but I will post them as they become available. Speaking of pictures, I would like to take this opportunity to announce that the Exhale picture blog is currently under construction and new pictures will be coming soon. Thank you for your patience and undoubted excitement for their arrival.

Silence

2006-07-24T15:46:00.000-04:00

As the members of The Smoking Fire Camping Club prepare to embark upon the 5th annual camping trip, imminent Silence will fall upon the blogs. Be strong, be not faint of heart for we shall return. This will not be a Silence eerie, nor a Silence full of loss, but rather a Silence of Golden Peace. Know that we are communing with nature, lulled by the waves upon the shore and the breeze within the treetops. We shall return as new women who have seen a clearer meaning of Life through the Silence that will envelop us as we leave behind the busyness of everyday life for a quieter, more reflective existence.

I, for one, embrace the Silence.

Extreme Trading

2006-07-21T22:56:00.000-04:00

Everybody is happy with a good trade. Kids trade things like lunches, collectors cards, and toys. Adults trade things like kids, services, stocks, and real estate.

This months issue of People magazine highlighted a young man who took trading stuff to the extreme. This man started his trading on the internet with one red paper clip, which he traded with a woman for her fish pen. Over the course of a year he traded for bigger and more valuable things. He is a fellow blogger and you can track his trade course at One Red Paper Clip. He ended up with his ideal trade: A house! He essentially got the house for the price of...well...one red paper clip.

I have got to start thinking outside the box!

The Oasis Project: Dance

2006-07-17T12:06:00.000-04:00

This is an exclsive pre-release post of The Oasis Project and any unauthorized use of material, all or in part, is strictly prohibited by the author.

For the past three or four weeks The Oasis band and choir has been slaving away in the reording studio to produce our latest worship album. Well, Barak and Randy have been slaving away. The rest of us just had fun!

I can only speak for the choir of course. The band laid down the music track a week earlier than the choir laid down vocals. The purpose of this was so that the choir would have some music to sing along with! Brilliant, I know. We had a rough start with the dreaded celebration song, but Barak loves that song so we all did our best. From then on it was smooth sailing. We had to sing each song (the choir part) twice because we will stack the vocals on the final cut. This will make us sound like a choir of 24 instead of only 12. (l-r: Barak, Jim, Dennis, Gary, Me;aka Monty)

We all agreed that the motto of the recording session was "hurry up and wait". It took a little time to get equipment set up and running smoothly. We took a couple of breaks and made it out of the studio after only three and a half hours. (Missy;aka Smitty, Karri)

Barak took the brunt of all the stress for us. His ideas often clashed with Randy's, whose studio we used. He did lead vocals on most of the songs.

I came into the studio the next day to record lead vocals on three of our songs. It was a lot of fun, but a little harder than I thought it would be. It is actually real work. I had to sing each song three or four times through until we had what we wanted.

Randy French owns the recording studio in Grand Haven and I really hope he doesn't sue me for posting his photo here. He is a very nice guy, but also very no-nonsense and can be a bit on the intimidating side. He said that he doesn't really need talent because his equipment does it all, which is fairly true because he applied auto tuning to most of our vocals to correct any off pitch notes. It is quite amazing what he can do.

We all worked very hard on this project, so I hope you will enjoy the CD when it is released (exclusively) in the next few weeks. I will be autographing any copies that you would like. I would also like to point out that Jeff did an amazing job on the trombone to contribute to the project. I'm sure he'll post some pics of the band recording session, and no doubt he'll autograph your CD as well. I know I want him to autograph my copy!

At the End

2006-07-12T18:34:00.000-04:00

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I dunno, press the button and find out."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Instant Hiccup Cure!

2006-07-07T17:44:00.000-04:00

Yes ladies and gentlemen, this foolproof remedy for hiccups works every time! And in a matter of seconds!! This inexpensive, ordinary household staple is none other than (drumroll please...): PEANUT BUTTER! Yes folks its very simple. When you find yourself plagued by the annoying and sometimes painful hiccups (also knows as hiccoughs), simply scoop out a spoonful of creamy peanut butter and take a big bite. The concentration exerted by the brain to prevent choking on the thick, creamy peanut butter takes all the attention away from those pesky hiccups and they dissipate immediately. No more scaring the beejeebers out of yourself, holding your breath, drinking water upside down, or focusing on taking your hiccup out and putting it in your hand (a vain attempt to distract the brain from allowing hiccups). Once you try the peanut butter method you will never go back to the other methods again.

Warning: Please do not attempt this if you have even the remotest allergy to peanuts!

Endorsement: This remedy is wholeheartedly endorsed by the author of this blog.

Disclaimer: The author has not attempted this remedy using crunchy peanut butter and cannot vouch for its effectiveness or safety.

A State of Being

2006-07-04T19:16:00.000-04:00

WARNING: The following post contains material that may be shocking to some readers, and may cause a shattering of the ideal or perfect "self" of the author. As for the author, she gladly steps down from her pedistal. If you feel that you cannot be exposed to such content without incurring mental and emotional damage, please do not read any further.

I am tired of being disappointed. No more, please stop. There is nothing I hate more in life than disappointment. My only defense is to not care, to not expect anything.

Everything I do seems pointless, leading to only God knows where. Nothing seems to work or help. One step forward, two steps back. All seems futile and meaningless.

I am being exsanguinated of hope: A long, slow blood-letting of the soul. I am almost empty, I feel the life ebbing from me. (someone please, please help me)

On independance day, I am still not free. Oh the irony.

DISCLAIMER: I realize this is only my perception, my state of being. Maybe even my season in life. A season of faith shaking. I was asked to trust, I have abandoned that effort for the present although I hope to work my way back into it, which will probably turn out to be a disappointing effort. It would probably be more advantageous to give up on any self-effort and...well...trust God to do it. I guess I am angry at losing what (I think) is so important to me. I could use your prayers in this. I so very rarely get the luxury to be weak and needy. I am always required to be "strong" and "spiritual" and, simply put, I am tired of that. I want to be a real human being.

Conspiracy

2006-07-02T18:50:00.000-04:00

Would you believe there is a conspiracy concerning the health of the average American! Believe it. Yesterday, in an attempt to be more healthy I chose to buy a gallon jug of tea to drink rather than a 2 liter of pop. Three cheers for me right? That's what I thought until today when I looked at the back of the jug to see what great and healthy ingredients I was literally pouring into my body and saw the three most dreaded words, which amounted to: High Fructose Corn Syrup. This ingredient is one of the worst for our bodies and is literally riddled into almost everything we eat! I think it's used to preserve food, but makes our poor pancreases work incredibly hard (if I can remember my nurse cousin's speech on the evils of High Fructose Corn Syrup).

Not only is this a problem, but I'm sure you've noticed that the real healthy food is so expensive only people with extra cash can afford it! Have you been in any health stores lately? They also make everything in a health store seem absolutely essential for your body. Who can afford to buy the whole store?! The details of vitamins, herbs, supplements, minerals, oils, acids and the like are also so numerous ( and dire) that one is left confused and hopeless.

I want to be healthy, I really do. I just get frusterated with all the details only to find out what I thought was healthy really isn't. This is the conspiracy: To make us think what we are eating and drinking is healthy when it isn't, and to charge lots of money for the stuff that is really healthy if you can first get past the confusion about what really is healthy.

If someone could make this really simple for me, I would give them a huge, and I mean huge, hug!

Maybe I should just invest in the health raquet.

Inspiration of the Day

2006-06-29T20:54:00.000-04:00

After much persuasion, I took my own advice and visited the links in my sidebar. I must say Strange Signs is absolutely hilarious! I know why I added it. There is a new one on the main page there exposing the true face of feminism. Having done a shallow study of feminism I immediately saw the humor. :) Maybe you will too. I may be inspired to give a short discourse on feminism one day (Thank you…thank you for the applause…no really…sit down…please).

We can always use inspiration of our Faith as the road is very long and dusty sometimes. One of the ways I inspire myself is to read stories of other Christians serving God. I own a book called Jesus Freaks co-written by DC Talk and The Voice of the Martyrs. Richard Wurmbrand started this ministry after spending 14 years in a Communist prison camp for this faith we have claimed. In Jesus Freaks, he shares this story:

Jubilant Dance for Jesus

“Christianity has become dramatic with us,” wrote Pastor Richard Wurmbrand, a leader of the underground church to Communist Romania. “When Christians in free countries win a soul for Christ, the new believer may become a member of a quietly living church. But when those in captive nations win someone, we know that he may have to go to prison and that his children may become orphans. The joy of having brought someone to Christ is always mixed with this feeling that there is a price that must be paid.

“When I was still living behind the Iron Curtain, I had met a Russian Captain. He loved God, he longed after God, but he had never seen a Bible. He had never attended religious services. He had no religious education, but he loved God without the slightest knowledge of Him.

“I read to him the Sermon on the Mount and the parables of Jesus. After hearing them, he danced around the room in rapturous joy, proclaiming, ‘What a wonderful beauty! How could I live without knowing this Christ?’ It was the first time I saw someone jubilating in Christ.

“Then I made a mistake. I read to him the passion and crucifixion of Christ, without having prepared him for this. He had not expected it. When he heard how Christ was beaten, how He was crucified, and that in the end He died, he fell in an armchair and began to weep bitterly. He had believed in a Savior and now his Savior was dead!

“I looked at him and was ashamed that I had called myself a Christian and a pastor, a teacher of others. I had never shared the sufferings of Christ as this Russian officer now shared them. Looking at him was, for me, like seeing Mary Magdalene weeping at the foot of the cross or at the empty tomb.

“Then I read to him the story of the resurrection. When he heard this wonderful news, that the Savior arose from the tomb, he slapped is knees, and shouted for joy: ‘He is alive! He is alive!’ Again he danced around the room, overwhelmed with happiness!

“I said to him, ‘Let us pray!’

“He fell on his knees together with me. He did not know our holy phrases. His words of prayer were, ‘O God, what a fine chap You are! If I were You and You were me, I would never have forgiven You Your sins. But You are really a very nice chap! I love You with all my heart.’

“I think that all the angels in heaven stopped what they were doing to listen to this sublime prayer from this Russian officer. When this man received Christ, he knew he would immediately lose his position as an officer, that prison and perhaps death in jail would almost surely follow. He gladly paid the price. He was ready to lose everything.

*Jesus Freaks, DC Talk and Voice of the Martyrs. Jubilant Dance for Jesus. Albury Publishing. Tulsa, Oklahoma. 1999. p 202

Cyber Life

2006-06-26T18:20:00.000-04:00

We all enjoy our little cyber circle. It enhances our lives and friendships. It keeps us connected when life busyness or distance keeps us apart. I sometimes joke that I have a better cyber life than I do a real life! Some people take their cyber lives very seriously.

These are people who have given up on pursuing much of a real life all together. Maybe they have discovered that they can be an entirely new and better person (or perceived as such) in cyber space. Maybe they have discovered that communication is so much easier and less of a personal risk online. Whatever the reason, almost 200,000 people world-wide have gotten a second life: A cyber life. You too can create a new (cyber) life for yourself by going to Secondlife.com. There you can create a digital image of yourself and meet the digital representations of other users for free. If you like it you can, for a small fee, buy property and build a house, start a business, go to clubs, restaurants, and other recreational places. Second Life has its own economy in place using the Linden dollar. Whatever you create there you retain IP rights to and can sell for real US dollars. Yes, you read that right. Lindex is the official currency exchange from Linden $ to US$. There are also in-world ATM machines to make transactions easier.

There is now a cyber life for children at Millsberry.com. It is a much tamer version of Second Life, but just as enticing. Children can create their digital selves and interact in-world all for free. They earn millsbucks by playing games at the arcade. I can see how they can learn about economy and saving “money” in such a world, but if they don’t get on every day to collect their interest bonus points from the bank, they lose that interest. Do I hear the word addiction?

This is Sim City gone insane. With a cyber life like that, why bother with real life stuff anymore? It is a society within a society, turned in on itself. We don’t need to interact with real people anymore. It’s much more fun to create and live in our very own cyber world.

Mulder and Scully

2006-06-21T21:26:00.000-04:00

A happy event has occurred in my little world. I discovered seasons 4-9 of the x-files for sale at a store near me. I, of course, bought all six seasons available. While the local Hollywood video rental has so graciously rented seasons 1 & 2 twice to me (humoring me with a sad half smile upon each of my frequent visits), I have yet to see season 3 in its entirety. I shall continue my search and so complete my collection.

Last year I began a ritual that became a great comfort to me. I had discovered for the first time that Hollywood rented seasons 1 & 2 of the x-files (which I had grown to love as a young girl). I was off – semester for the spring and I looked forward each week to indulging in the world of Mulder and Scully. I had also discovered the pleasure of Dove chocolates and logically combined the two delicacies to create several hours of bliss.

Mulder and Scully became like dear friends to me in those hours. I lived vicariously through them. They brought me joy and happiness, and satisfied my craving for the twisted and unexplained mystery with a (sort-of) solution. Again this spring I savored my way through the first and second season only to once again find myself at the end (cliff-hung in fact). I was strangely depressed and restless at the void this left. Imagine my excitement then when I discovered that I could enjoy 129 NEW episodes, and OWN them!

You cannot blame me, or judge me. It is my escape.

I’m willing to bet you have an escape of your own.

A Three Pipe Problem

2006-06-18T19:32:00.000-04:00

Mysteries of life are not easily explained. One day, at the end of time, I hope that they will unravel themselves. I love mysteries, but only ones that can be solved. I like to know the ending of a good mystery. I’m not a big fan of Unsolved Mysteries. I shall pose a problem, which I am sure many of you have experienced and wondered at the mysteriousness of the phenomenon.

Have you ever shopped endlessly for clothing or gifts to no avail, but one unexpected day, favor shines down upon you, and you find the perfect things for incredible deals?

Have you ever lived weeks in boring nothingness, when suddenly four events converge on the same weekend forcing you to choose one or maybe two of the events only?

Why do things always happen this way: Feast or Famine?

When it rains, it pours!

It feels as if this is beyond one’s control. The Bible says that there are seasons and times for everything. Would that word refer to this phenomenon? We can exhaust ourselves trying to make things happen out of season. There is also something to be said about being perseverant.

I’m not much of a shopper, but I can compare this phenomenon to shopping. There are days when I go out looking for something, I go to several places, I find nothing, my feet hurt, my back hurts, I’m frustrated, and I feel like I have just completely wasted my time. It’s as if some unseen force has been against me. Other times I go out and every place I go I find exactly what I want, quickly, and in my price range.

I also have experienced the loss of realizing if I just would have looked a little longer and harder I would have found something really cool. I have experienced this while shopping with friends and they find something incredible in a place I gave up looking.

It’s like luck, or favor just builds up and builds up before/until it bubbles over. Maybe that is what pressed down, shaken together, running over means. We just don’t notice the blessing until it runs over. Maybe it’s because room must be made for the blessing before it comes: The ache of boredom and loneliness before the blessing of friends and fun, the frustration of searching to embrace the finding.

Elementary, my dear?

One Word

2006-06-16T00:19:00.000-04:00

I stroll down the wide dock at the WL Yacht Club with one small, sticky hand in mine, the result of an ice cream cone gone out of control, and ponder the question Katie just introduced: Explain Mary in one word. I don't hesitate: Strong will. We move on to Katie and she beams: Dreamer. Now what about Miss Stephenie? A moment of thoughfullness, then Mary bursts: Giving! Katie's eyes light up in agreement. I'm stunned. That wouldn't have been the word I would use to describe myself, but to them it fits me perfectly. I would have expected the word caring, or something like it. I guess I do give my time, my advice, my love, my help, my patience. I give of mysef and they know it.

The little things that we do really don't go unnoticed. Our everday lives and presence create a solid (yet invisible) essence of who we are. It remains apart from outward appearance, it is the inner person. It's the person others grow close to, fall in love with, learn to respect, miss when we're away. It is the person that will remain long after our physical body has expired from this world.

Relationships are like mirrors: They allow you to see yourself more clearly.

Exhale News Update!

2006-06-11T22:31:00.000-04:00

A long overdue update is about to be made...please stand by.

Former "buddies" Reinstated as Official Exhale Members
It has been noted that bloggers who held the rank of "buddy" have received a much more prestigious title due to the exclusive nature of their presence on the Exhale blog, and are now considered official members of said blog. These individuals are not just members, but also valuable contributers to the prestigiousness and exclusiveness of Exhale. Exhale is also proud to acknowledge it's newest members: Mike, Kelsey, and Angela who no doubt will prove to contribute witty shouts and thoughtful comments for the enjoyment of all members!

Annual Camping Adventure an Anticipated Success
The dates have finally been released for the fifth annual camping excursion of the "Smoking Fire" camping club at a most secretive spot. At the risk of exposure to the fragile privacy of it's high profile guests, security will be stepped up on the camp grounds in anticipation of their arrival. Please make note of these dates as they will not be repeated due to their highly classified nature: July 24-28, 2006.

Sanity of Author Validated
While there was some concern for the sanity of the author of this blog, it has come to the attention of those closest to the author that her faculties are indeed intact. She is neither insane, nor retarded. The fault lies with the fact that she is indeed a woman and subject to unannounced mood swings! There is no cause for alarm as this is all normal. The author does, however, wish to convey her sympathy to any one (or more) person (s) to whom she may have caused pain due to the violent swinging (particularly this weekend in a certain social setting).

Shoutbox Grand Opening
It was brought to the attention of User Control that the smilies in the shoutbox were popping up of their own accord and tormenting users in their various mannerisms and idiosyncrasies. The shoutbox was promptly re-installed so as to correct this problem. All smilies are now subject to behave. Any smilie who defies this order will be promptly shot by the smilie with the gun!

Sidebar Entertainment A Big Hit
New sidebar additions continue to increase the entertainment and intellect of the Exhale website. While more is planned for the future, the author would like to encourage the reader to "...take advantage of what is there." The author was also quoted to say, "When in doubt of what to shout [in the shoutbox] the reader can draw from the sidebar quotes, questions, and links to spark new, wild, and random shouting."

The gate is down, The lights are flashing, The train IS coming!

2006-06-05T21:14:00.000-04:00

Every once in awhile I shock myself with some profound thinking. Yesterday was one of those days. I was thinking upon the mystery of the free will. Why is it that we are not free to do the things we really want to do at times? If we want the rooms in our houses to be nicer, the quality of our life to be better socially, physically, mentally, spiritually then why is it that we seem bound or hindered from being successful or accomplishing these dreams? Is it really because we don't have the time, money, guts etc. to do those things? We complain about our lack, but rarely own responsibility for it's presence in our lives. It's always someone or something else's fault. Even when we own up to it at times we sometimes just can't seem to make it happen.

Then I thought about the effort that it would take to keep our houses clean, and beautiful, and organized, the inspiration needed to be constantly bettering one's self through enrichment classes and the like, the time required to devote to those things that make our lives better, more enjoyable, more valuable. I thought, "My word! It would take a tremendous amount of ENERGY to do all that!" Then it occured to me that is why it is so important to take care of our bodies and be healthy. So, we can have the energy to devote to living the best life possible.

It follows also that our choices must be disciplined in order to accomplish the things we truly want. We must look ahead to the future as well as keep our attention on the present. We live in a society diseased with instant gratification and because of that we are destroying the quality of our lives piece by piece. It is important then to distinguish between what we want and what we really want! There are days when I don't want to go to class, but I want to get a teaching degree. Therefore, my real desire is to go to school even though I don't want to attend class all the time. Why complain then?

I think that Paul had it right when he said, "Godliness with contentment is great gain."

I think it is also right to keep balance in this by not being "content" with things that we have been given the power and grace to to make better. We must take responsibility for the change needed in our lives, be content in spite those things that can't be changed (grace), and have discernment to know the difference between the two.

Farewell Cousin Becky

2006-06-01T16:23:00.000-04:00

My memories of my cousin Becky are ones of adventure and spontaneity, hysterical pants-peeing laughter, and raw honesty. We are opposites. Rebekah is unorthodox, bends the rules, tries weird things. I follow the rules and put a limit on weirdness. She is more open-minded to things, while I often struggle to get over my thoughts and prejudices about things. I am careful and methodical, while she closes her eyes and leaps. We balance each other out.

As she moves to Chicago today, I remember: Walks through grandma’s back property, fireworks on the lakeshore on the 4th, jokes about her left-handed handicap, sleepovers, ALL her boyfriends, sticking together during family get-togethers, watching “Babies Day Out” at the movies (which she had seen three times previously), catching her room on fire (not my fault), the photoshoot we did together, practicing new massage techniques on each other, her neon color phase, making sushi, horseback riding, surfing, snowboarding, lunch at the Red Wok, the times I thought she was crazy.

All of that can never be bought back. I am so thankful we made the best of it while we had the chance. I don’t know what the future holds for each of us. I’m sure there will be heartbreak and triumph through circumstances and sometimes by our own choices. No matter what, we are always a phone call (or click of the mouse) away from each other.

I love you Rebekah, and I pray the best for you always.

The Ice Cream Man

2006-05-31T15:18:00.000-04:00

It’s that time of year again when the off pitch, broken-record sound of the ice cream man can be heard winding his way through your neighborhood. This sound is often associated with the childhood bliss of summer. It does not often strike terror into the hearts of young’uns wilting in the summer heat, rather the mechanical notes of “When the Saints Go Marching In” elicits an excitement that sends them running inside to beg for money for some of the ice cream man’s treats.

Maybe I didn’t have a normal childhood, but the sound of the ice cream man still sends shivers of disgust up and down my spine. I feel the need to hide, mutter curses, and spit when his truck saunters down my street. I think of the ice cream man as a seedy weirdo who can’t (or doesn’t want to) get a real job. He uses his job selling ice cream to scope out neighborhoods and the innocent children who live in them.

My mother is solely responsible for my attitude toward the ice cream man. She would warn us against him, and rarely did we have the opportunity to buy ice cream from him, and certainly never by ourselves. My mother’s words and attitude were justified on the fateful day that my brothers were chased by the ice cream man in his truck after they had attempted to buy ice cream with acorns instead of money. When the ice cream man showed up in our driveway breathing hard and pointing an accusing, fat finger at my shaking and cowering little brothers, we all knew mom had been right.

I sense the same apprehension when the girls I nanny for beg me to let them get ice cream from the slow moving ice cream van. It should have come as no surprise to me then that the lawyers I work for, while going through their pictures of injured clients, recognized the ice cream man in one of the photos.

All doubt was erased when I found This Picture. (This man is not, and never has been, a client of my employers)

No, the ice cream man is not to be trusted. Protect yourselves from him this summer. They sell much better ice cream in shops anyway!

My Best Friend's Wedding

2006-05-22T15:40:00.000-04:00

My best Friend Anna tied the knot with her new best friend Chris last Sunday afternoon. I hold no grudge against her for this action. On the contrary I am very happy for her and would even go so far as to say I support her decision. She originally had no bridesmaids, but it became aparent that she would need an attendant for all those little details like her train and flowers, and keeping the paparazzi at bay. Since I have been her best friend for the last 6 years, and I was doing all those little details anyway, she allowed me to stand up front next to her during the ceremony. I was given strict orders not to steal the spotlight and God knows I did my best to honor her wishes. (Can I help it if the cameras naturally gravitate toward me?!) Anyway she didn't say anything about after the wedding, so for those who may have missed the stunning dress I was wearing I will post some pictures.

I wish my friend Anna all the wedded bliss that can possibly exist for two souls on earth. I'm sure she will be posting some of the wedding pics on her site.

Random Question of the Day

2006-05-18T19:25:00.000-04:00

If you could have one super power, what would it be and why?

Random Thoughts

2006-05-16T22:35:00.000-04:00

I think I over-analyze myself. I often take a normal conversation, email, or action that I do and I scrutinize it in retrospection until I am overcome with anxiety at my fault. I may be a perfectionist, or I simply may have picked up this habit from my mother. Some self-analysis and retrospection is good, but too much can have a detrimental effect upon a person. It really takes the joy out of some things. Maybe it is worry. Worry over things that I really have no control over. Letting it go is easier said than done. It could be that I have no patience with myself. I give myself no room to make mistakes and therefore I do not expect anyone else to either. It could be Obsessive Compulsive Disorder except my over-analyzing thoughts don't drive me to do any obssesive compulsive behavior in order to release anxiety (like compulsive counting- I guess I can thank my phobia for that). Maybe it's just insanity, and I'm the only one that doesn't notice. Have you ever wondered if others perceive you as crazy or even slighltly retarded and you're the only one who doesn't know. After all, If you are crazy or retarded you would think you were normal! Perhaps it is just frail human nature that is the culprit for an overanalyzing, perfectionist, impatient, OCD, worry-wart.
God help me.

Scripting Genius

2006-05-12T13:15:00.000-04:00

I love reading good books. Now that I have the freed mental space to devote to good reading, I have been taking advantage of it. I have also put some thought into what constitutes a good book. I have had to give up a couple of my childhood prejudices on what a good book is. These are:
*A good book is fictional. While I still read (for pleasure) almost exclusively fictional books, some of my favorites have been non-fiction.
*A good book must be softcover. As a young'in I would never choose a book unless it had a soft cover. I have since realized that my reason for this is that hardcovers are uncomfortable to hold while reading. They are heavy and cumbersome. If I am interested in the story today, however, I will choose a hardcover.

I'm sure I have read hundreds and thousands of books in my lifetime, and it has caused me to value certain traits in books, of which I will share. I like to think also that my opinion is an educated one thanks to the numerous literature and writing classes of which my college career has subjected me to. Here are my criteria for good books:
*Profound descriptions: A good bok must display deep and unique descriptions of things that stir the soul. Bland, surface descriptions are uninteresting and boring.
*Depth: A good book must have deep characters with emotions that may sometimes be conflicted (because human emotions are conflicted). A good character has layers. There are surface features, but there are also deeper issues which are brought out in the character through plot.
*Twisted: A good book has twists in the plot and characters which adds suspense and mystery. If the reader is kept spell-bound, then it is a top rated book! Also twistedness can refer to strange and even horrific which is told in a way that the reader can accept as (at the very least) an alter reality.
*Underlying Purpose: A good book has a purpose (often weaved subtly through the story)through which the author uses the story to convey.

I have discovered (through my sister-in-law) a christian author who meets all of my criteria: Ted Dekker. He has profound descriptions, deep characters, and (very) twisted plots. He also uses his stories to explore profound philosophical questions. His stories are the vehicle to which he conveys his thoughts on those profound eternal questions. He may explore the existence of God (as in his novel Blink), or he may explore good vs. evil in the nature of man (as in Thr3e), or even God's love and salvation (in The Circle Trilogy: Black, Red, White). I have been astounded, and spellbound on more than one occasion while reading his novels. I guess you could call me a fan. It's just a good thing I have a job that I can read on!

Easy-going Bees

2006-05-08T16:50:00.000-04:00

Today had the hint of summer in it, so I went to the state park to enjoy the beach. I was there a couple days ago too, but I consider this my first official day at the beach because I actually wore my bathing suit and put on suntan lotion! The water is still freezing, but it is perfect for sitting on the beach and looking at it. I took the short trail that goes straight down to the beach (as opposed to winding all over the place before depositing you onto the shoreline) because I prefer the more secluded spots. Too many people ruins the effect, unless you are yourself going with a group. I like to take the trail down also because it gets me in the right frame of mind for beach enjoying. My cares and distractions slowly peel away with every step closer to the gentle, pounding surf.

I brought along Ted Dekker's thriller Thr3e to read. It's insanely good, I can hardly put it down. (I had to force myself to finally turn out the lights in the wee hours of this morning). I was engrossed in the growing web of evil with the warm sun on my back and the pound of the waves in my ear, when I was accosted by a huge bumblebee. This freaked me out a bit, but I managed to go back to my reading with a partial eye out for bumblebees. My next visitor, however, was much stranger. He looked like a black wasp and had the uncanny ability to fold his tail end up so he looked something like a scorpion. I was thoroughly disgusted and yet intrigued by his strange nature. He left, but returned sometime later and pestered me until put Dekker's novel to good use. It took only...three hits or so to make sure he was good and dead!

Upon arriving home, I engaged in conversation with my brother Dave (which is always a mental adventure). I told him about the strange creature that seemed to be a bee, but not be a bee. He knew exactly what I was talking about from his landscaping days. In his experience of them, they are not as easily agravated as wasps, although they do have stingers (which I had noticed). They are, in his words, like easy-going bees.

If you see any easy-going bees this summer, know you can shoo them and kill them a little easier, but they have the capacity to sting!

Sylvia The Disobedient

2006-05-04T21:55:00.000-04:00

For my final project in my children's literature class this last semester, I had to wrte my own children's story. Mary always asks me to tell her "bad stories". She means she wants a story about a kid who does something bad and gets in trouble. This was my inspiration for Sylvia The Disobedient. Anna made some original drawings for the book, to which the children in Mary's 1st grade class (to whom I read the book) exclaimed in wide-eyed wonder: "Your friend is a good drawer!"

Sylvia is a little girl who is very bored one afternoon and decides to go down to the lake alone even though she has been told not to.

She finds an old boat down at the lake, gets in, and floats away without realizing she has no oars. She is afraid, but is found by a friendly duck named George who keeps her company.

Sylvia has a few problems including no oars, getting caught on a log, and becoming cold, tired, and hungry.

She is eventually found by a police boat and taken home to be with her parents. The next day she is grounded and must apologize to the man whose boat she took.

The children I read this story to loved it and the pictures. One little boy raised his hand as high as he could at the beginning and asked what disobedient meant. When I told him, his eyes lit up and he exclaimed, "Oh yeah, I'm disobedient every day!" I just love kids!

Interview

2006-04-28T13:49:00.000-04:00

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and interest in how my interview went with my supervising teacher at Beach Elementary. She is very nice and I think that we will get along well. I am the first TA (teacher assistor) that she has had, so this will be new for the both of us. She used to teach kindergarten and got moved to 5th grade 3 yrs ago. She felt about 5th grade much like I do. I felt good about this since it proves I'm not the only one who has felt this way and can survive the experience. :) She likes it though as I'm sure I will.

I love the way she has her class setup. She has a large carpeted open space where she does lessons. They do seat work at their desks. This is so great to me because it reminds me of the montessori. It sort of feels like home to see it. I will spend the mornings in her class beginning in the fall, which will be nice because she does reading and writing in the morning - my area of expertise.

I am officially done with the semester and will have a nice break for awhile to enjoy life before August 28 usheres me into the College of Education. I am now accepting all (within reason) social plans that anyone would wish to include me in, or be included in. It is sad that my life is, out of necessity, so out of balance as to be either all mental and no social, or all social and no mental. Maybe one day my life even out and I will be well-rounded and healthy in all four areas at the same time.

5th Grade?

2006-04-22T12:22:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I got my teacher assisting placement. I am assigned to a 5th grade class at Beach Elementary. I am excited to be so close to home! I am a little nervous about being in a 5th grade class though. Fifth graders are starting to become more independent and less enthusiastic about rules and authority. Their horomones are also starting to kick in and drive everyone around them crazy. They are becoming interested in the opposite sex, but would rather die than anyone find out, so they just pick on each other mercilessly. Then there are the emotional issues they are beginning to face. The boys are wired for sound, and the girls are breaking down in tears. They are also a little more critical of each other and authority than younger kids.

Not only will I have to deal with all of this, but 5th graders are required to do real math! Now we get down to the nitty gritty. I'm not sure what the phobia for math is, but I'm pretty sure I have it. I observed in Katie's 5th grade last year and the teacher recruited me to keep score on the board for a geography game. I only had to subtract and add, but it made me so nervous that I dropped the eraser on the floor. I think it had something to do with standing at the board with everyone staring at me while I attempted math. I've had bad experiences with that as a child.

I'm pretty sure I will like it though once I get to know the kids, and I'm pretty sure they will like me too. I hope that my supervising teacher is nice, and wonderful, and helpful to my learning experience. I will be calling on Monday to set up an interview time with her. Pray that I have God's favor as I go!

Exam studying commences this afternoon with the arrival of my geography study budy. Unfortunately, I have strained my right eye, which is very painful and annoying. Whenever I read or look at the computer screen I feel the muscle pull. Now is not the time to deal with something like this.

I am really looking forward to our spa party next Saturday!

Two

2006-04-21T10:24:00.000-04:00

The number two is a very important number in life. It takes two days to get used to living around new people (in a short term living experience such as a trip). It takes two weeks to get used to a new schedule. It takes two months to function normally after a tragic heartbreak (maybe less or more depending on the situation, but on average a good amount of time to recover is two months: The first to come to terms with it, and the second to start really living again).

The number two has again resurfaced recently in the number of exams wich I must suffer through. This is really fortunate considering I'm taking four classes, which is two more than two for all the math loving freaks out there. What is the statistics of this happening in a semester? For me the statistics are high I think considering I had a similar situation last semester. I owe it to my profession choice: Teaching. Finals are often projects and the like. :)

I must only suffer through a geography exam and an English exam. Speaking of English, I got an A on my last paper. Not a 96% A, or even a 98% A. No, I got a 100% A!! It may be significant that this was my 2nd paper written for this class (The first of which I also got an A, but not as good of an A).

The exams are far enough apart that I can study sufficiently for each one without stressing too much. Then I'll get four months off, which is two more than two for the number neurotics!

Strange Sighting

2006-04-19T13:02:00.000-04:00

I don't know if anyone else has seen this or not, but while driving past Memorial Park I saw the same strange sight for the second time in the last couple of weeks. The first time I saw him I thought I was making it up. When I saw him yesterday though, I couldn't deny that it was certifiably strange, but true. I'll let you judge on the strangeness of it, and I would appreciate any information as to the reasoning behind it.

There is a man who stands facing the north bound traffic past Memorial Park. I'm always going south when he's standing there so I have to look in my rearview mirror to investigate. That is the reason why I thought my eyes were tricking me the first time I saw him. He wears a really nice suit that makes him look like a business man. My first impression was that he was on a strike because he holds a sign. In my rearview mirror though I was able to see the sign; it is white with a large black peace sign drawn on it. I got a really creepy feeling when I saw it. He just stands there by himself holding the sign.

Strange.

I Lived a Lifetime...

2006-04-18T09:03:00.000-04:00

...in my sleep last night. Every trivial, recent concern unleashed itself in my subconcious in the form of twisted and surreal dreams. I'm exhausted.

Techblastednology!

2006-04-16T18:46:00.000-04:00

@##!%***#@/!!!##*?^*$%##@##*&@!!!

Journal Excerpt

2006-04-15T23:06:00.000-04:00

Almost went crazy today. Thankfully I passed out instead.

Finals...

2006-04-13T10:00:00.000-04:00

...are moving upon me like a shadow from the pit.

WooHoo!

2006-04-10T14:16:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Colleen I was able to triple what I had originally hoped to send to Voice of the Martyrs for Colombia! It is so great what we can do together as the body of Christ. I'm looking forward to the day when I find out what was/will be accomplished through our efforts. :) Thanks Colleen.

There are two more official weeks of the semester and then a week of finals. Projects and Papers are coming due (how are those illustrations coming for my book Anna?). I am so looking forward to the calm before the next stormy semester in the College of Education. I hope to read all sorts of mystery novels, watch good movies, take a self-defense class, cook for my family, spend time at the beach, hang out with friends, enjoy summer with my charges, and absolutely soak up the season.

Sounds pretty good doesn't it!

Psychological Experiment

2006-04-06T12:15:00.000-04:00

The next time you are out take a few minutes to walk through the garden center of any store, or through a nearby greenhouse. There are fewer people in there than anywhere else right now, and the warm smells of the plants and flowers, even the sight of them, will lift your mental health. One advantage to garden centers over greenhouses is that garden centers also display fountains, statues, and relaxing lawn furniture. These things add to the enjoyment of the plants. The advantage of greenhouses is that there are even fewer people and there is more of a variety of plants to look at. You can enjoy this for free, so take advantage of it before the rest of the population does.

I took a few moments during my morning errand running to do this and found it very therapuetic. Especially since I was about to enter Walmart. It was easier to breathe which must have something to do with the oxygen given off by all plant life. It was soothing to the mind and soul.

Girl's Nights

2006-04-04T11:58:00.000-04:00

Girl's night (gurl z nit), n 1. no men, cell phones, or worries. 2. several hours filled with giddy laughter, junkfood, games, movies, and pampering.

We have made quite a habit of these nights of feminine frivilocity. Last friday we gathered to play games. The friday before it was a spa party, or was it freakish movie night? I can't remember. The point is we let down our hair, and we just don't care! That is what a girl's night is all about.

Costa Rica Is a "No Go"

2006-04-02T20:31:00.000-04:00

I was hoping to do my student teaching in Costa Rica next winter. I was very excited about the prospect of traveling to another country again, and getting to use my Spanish. However, upon closer inspection of the requirements of the program it looks like I will not be going after all. I am disappointed, but I think that it is probably for the best ( I grudgingly admit). I had told Katie (the 12 yr old that I’ve been taking care of since she was 8) about my plans to go to Costa Rica earlier this year. Friday I forlornly told her that it wasn’t working out, and was completely unprepared for her response. A look of relief and joy flashed through her eyes and she got the biggest smile on her face! She practically giggled. I was shocked. I had no idea she had been so disturbed about my leaving.

“If you leave Miss Stephenie, who will be with us?” It is completely unthinkable to her that I could ever leave her and Mary. Life (as they know it) would cease to continue. I wanted to say, “Well, you have parents. Someone else could stay with you. Oh, you’d be fine!” but I guess that really isn’t the point. They depend on me, I am a part of their life.

I also relieved Barak’s mind with the news that I wouldn’t be missing from the worship team for 71/2 weeks. This was one of the major things on my mind when considering going, actually. It would be a long time to be gone from my ministry and responsibility.

Looking at these things is sort of frightening to me. I’ve always been able to go and do whatever, whenever. I’ve enjoyed that. Somehow though, over the past five years, I have grown roots, and ties to people. I am depended on and needed. I can’t selfishly do whatever I want. It is sort of sobering, and a little humbling too.

I really have some great plans, but I know that God’s plans are better than mine. I don’t want to miss out on them because I blindly go after what I think would be best.

That is where it stands.

This Is It!!

2006-03-31T18:48:00.000-05:00

Voice of the Martyrs highlighted their ministry to the Guerillas in Colombia in their most recent magazine (April 2006). Most of you will remember my earlier post about Colombia. The Colombian Guerillas (FARC) hate Christians because they will not have anything to do with the growth or distribution of cocaine (their biggest finance), give them money, or help them in their war against the government (4). Many Christians are harassed or killed, churches are closed, and many pastors work under a death penalty.

There are many, many children being trained in the Guerilla camps. Some are kidnapped, others are recruited, and still others join of their own volition in hopes of a more exciting life. Click HERE to view a story and picture of young girl guerillas.

VOM is ministering directly to the Guerillas (and other factions) to bring an end to the violence. They distribute Bibles, radios, and other literature to the Guerillas and the regular Colombian army. They usually walk, or go by boat. They have approved the use of only one airplane, since airplanes have been shot down in the past (Ya hear that africaflyboy? Shot Down!).

I cannot go to Colombia myself right now, but this is my opportunity to help those children I wept about two years ago! I am, in the next week or so, sending New Testaments (71 cents each), and maybe one of the radios ($18.25 each) to aid VOM workers in reaching those children. I think it would be awesome if anyone else is interested and wants to help me. Let me know if you are, and I can send your money with mine.

Food of the Future

2006-03-29T14:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, here is an exciting technicolor article about food of the future. It may reveal why, even though there is much interest in alternative food, it hasn't quite "lifted off". I found it interesting that Tang (the powdered drink) grew in popularity because of the synthetic food craze. I loved Tang as a kid. I would eat it dry. There is also research being done on patches that can be worn by soldiers to feed themselves through their skin. That would be great for people who hate taking pills, or getting shots! Enjoy: Space Food

Food Freedom!

2006-03-28T22:08:00.000-05:00

When I was a little girl, I would get so mad at my mom for calling me in for lunch when I had been happily playing outside. I saw lunch as an interruption to much more important things. I used to dream about making a food pill that I could just quickly eat and be immediately full and nourished. I still think this would be a great idea.

Can you imagine the time that would be saved if we never needed to eat? For one thing we wouldn’t have to waste all that time preparing food. Then, we wouldn’t have to sit down and eat, or multitask while we eat – such as drive, surf the web, or talk on the phone. Also, the arduous hassle of grocery shopping would be completely done away with. The overall advantages of this would be hours more of free time in our day!

Of course we would always have the option of eating if we wanted to. Let’s face it, some food is just good! There is also something to be said about sitting down with friends and family over good food. Food enhances those moments oddly enough.

My idea has been attempted by scientific people, but strangely it hasn’t gone over very well. People would just rather depend on scavenging around every few hours to stave off hunger pains than take a pill or a shot once or twice a day. However, we do see the effects of the scientific attempts in power bars, energy drinks, and even vitamins. The problem though is that with power bars you actually have to take the time to chew the whole thing up and they usually taste bad, energy drinks aren’t much better, and vitamins don’t make you feel full.

My hope is that in the near future I can be part of some human experiment with food pills to prove their success for humankind.

Kidnapped!

2006-03-26T20:16:00.000-05:00

At 11 am on Saturday I was “kidnapped”. Fortunately, I had been forewarned that such an event would befall me, and was therefore prepared. The conspirators happened to be close, personal friends of mine also, which eased any apprehension of what was about to happen to me. I was first taken to GR to the Coldstone creamery for some ice cream, after which I was blind-folded and forced to eat my ice cream in darkness for the remainder of the ride. I guess they figured it would pacify me. It worked.

As the car came to a stop and the blindfold was removed, it became apparent to me the extent my friends had gone to plan a relaxing day for me. We were at the Oasis Hot Tubs! I was in for a luxurious hour in a tropical hot tub next to a trickling water fall! One of the perpetrators had gone to my house, went into my room, stole my bathing suit, and packed me a getaway bag without my ever knowing it! We were given a free extra half hour too. It was like cutting up a slice of the day and savoring it long and slow! By the time we left, even my mind was relaxed. It didn’t end there though.

We drove back toward home and to one of my favorite restaurants: Famous Dave’s, where I ate till I was completely satisfied.

Everyone should have friends like mine. They knew without my ever saying a word that I needed something like that. They also, through their actions, reminded me of God’s love for me. They will probably never know how much it meant to me, what it spoke to me.

Thank you Anna, Colleen, and Leslie, you are the best friends anyone could ask for.

Revolting

2006-03-23T21:34:00.000-05:00

The gap between poor and rich schools in the United States is perpetuated through government sanctioned inequality, and defended by the rich to protect their claim to their rightful liberty, or what Kozol calls in his book Savage Inequalities, “…the extra edge their children…enjoy" (171). This “extra edge” is thousands of dollars more per child, current textbooks, smaller class sizes, technology, safe and modern buildings with working facilities, qualified teachers, and enrichment classes like art and music. While redistribution of funds has been fought for to give children in poorer districts the same edge (i.e. toilet paper, textbooks, working sewage, academic resources etc.), it is rebutted bitterly by those in wealthier districts. Kozol reports from his research, “The fulfillment of the dream of equity for the poor districts, says the New York Times, is seen by richer districts as a ‘nightmare’” (171). The richer districts fear that redistributing the resources would make all schools mediocre rather than excellent. In this case, the happiness of the few rests upon the misery of the many. The government sides with the rich.

It is logical since the government is the rich. The government allocates the funds and all too often turns a blind eye to the gross inequality between school districts. The government demands that children attend school, which, unless they are wealthy enough to enjoy private education, is the school in their district. Kozol makes the implications of attending a poor school district clear when he states, “Thus the state, by requiring attendance but refusing to require equity, effectively requires inequality. Compulsory inequity, perpetuated by state law, too frequently condemns our children to unequal lives” (56). Their “unequal lives” stretch far beyond the school yard, if there even is a school yard. Woefully under prepared for college as a result of the watered down curriculum and barren environment, they are offered classes on how to work at McDonalds. The overcrowding in poor schools leaves them without academic advising, and many, to the relief of their teachers, drop out for lack of direction. Why should they care about their lives? No one else does.

Thus, many of these children with their unequal lives end up as a drain on society. One lost child will cost the government tens of thousands of dollars to house him in a prison cell. The government that protested equity of finances for his education is now paying twice that to clean up the “problem” they created. Unfortunately, they herald him as an example of how useless it is to throw money away on people like him: Children in poor school districts.
Unless there is equity, there can be no liberty. They cannot exist apart.

Kozol, Jonathan. Savage Inequalities: Children in America’s Schools. Crown Publisher Inc., New York, NY. 1991.

COE

2006-03-22T22:44:00.000-05:00

I had my orientation with the College of Education today. I had to sign another "declaration of intent" stating that I really do plan on teacher assisting this fall. I also had to watch a 12 min video on blood borne pathogens. The acting was hysterical! Very nice comic relief to the 3 hours of repetitive information. I received my permit for the classes I will need, and I signed up for them right away at the registrar (we are not allowed to sign up online for these classes and the permit must be presented). Happily, I got two classes in Muskegon so I won't have the extra wear and tear, not to mention gas mileage, on my car!!

I will have morning assisting five days a week with a monday afternoon seminar. I will have three classes: Reading, management, and 4 1/2 days during the semester for another Education seminar-like thing. I also have to get another permit for an English class.

I should receive my placement later this spring and meet my cooperating teacher for an interview. This all makes it so real! I am finally there after years of hard work. And from what I hear that was the easy part. Things are about to get very, very hectic! I am so glad I will get the spring and summer off.

In other news: LOST was NOT a rerun tonight! Although I missed half of it 'cause my class goes 'till 8:50 and then I have the half hour drive home. :(

Mrs. Dunwoody's Household Tips

2006-03-18T21:49:00.000-05:00

For a little old fashioned advice around the house, I thought I would bring out Mrs. Dunwoody from the 1800's. Simple, resourceful, and best of all - cheap!

*To make your own waterproof matches, dip just the tips into melted wax. Apply a thin coating and allow to dry on a piece of waxed paper. Store in a tin or other waterproof container.

*For a sink that drips and keeps you awake at night: Tie a piece of string to the faucet, placing the end down the drain. When the water drips, it will flow down the length of the string, which will absorb enough to silence the maddening drip.

*Plain old cold tea will clean woodwork.

*Stuff wet shoes with newspaper to speed up the drying process.

*Put sugar cubes in your empty suitcase to absorb odors.

*Use a dry bar of soap on creaky doors or stuck drawers.

Spring Cleaning: Mrs. Dunwoody recommends the following mixture simmering on the stove to create a pleasant air freshener during spring cleaning:
Add Lemon, apple and/or orange peelings with sprinkles of cinnamon or cloves to a large pot of water.

Selected from Mrs. Dunwoody's Excellent Insructions for Homekeeping by Miriam Lukken.

Legend Has It...

2006-03-17T12:37:00.000-05:00

We hear a lot of stories around, and sometimes it's really hard to tell what is truth, fiction, or a little of both. Snopes.com is dedicated to either verifying, or discrediting many of these tales and photographs passed around. It's also very entertaining!

Snow Fairies

2006-03-14T21:47:00.000-05:00

I managed to salvage a few pictures from snowboarding this season. I wish I had more to share with you. This is only a small sample.

This is my awesome board which I have become very attached to. I got an incredible deal on my board and bindings. I really was blessed by God.

My cousin Rebekah and I are standing at the top of a hill at Cannonsburg in GR. I think this is the first time we went, so we are about ready to launch ourselves kamikaze-style down the hill. We are all smiles here, but the next day we were not smiling.

The cousins...and Marcus. At Cannonsburg again, me, Justin, Alexis, Bekah, and Marcus. We had so much fun that day!

I must say that I absolutely love snowboarding. It has become a new passion for me over the past several months. I love the intense rush followed by the settling peace that creates a satisfying inner balance. Yes, there is balance in snowboarding, and it's not just the balance required to stay up on the board.

Back to the Grind

2006-03-12T19:18:00.000-05:00

I moved out during spring break last week. My friend, Sadie, went on vacation and let me live at her house while she was gone. It was very relaxing. So relaxing, in fact, that I gained 3 ½ pounds! It was quite easy to do. I just ate out at restaurants 3 or 4 times over the week, ate things like frozen pizzas and ice cream Snickers bars, ate late night snacks, watched a sinful amount of television and movies, and didn’t exercise a lick, except for the day I went snowboarding.

Wednesday I headed out to Cannonsburg to ride. It was really quite perfect. It felt like spring, but I got to enjoy the snow. I think I greatly improved my skills that day. Unfortunately, the next day I came down with a cold which I have been fighting ever since.

My mom and I went to the fifth annual Oak-Crest Ladies retreat over the weekend. For the first time, I had absolutely no responsibility and got to be a regular lady! I enjoyed this immensely. We stayed at the Shoreline Inn, and ate at Rafferty’s on the lake. Our room was fabulous, the hot tubs were great, and the conference part of the retreat was inspiring.

Tomorrow I start back to classes. I didn’t really do any homework over the week although I started with good intensions. Oh, well. This time being irresponsible was worth it, not to mention much needed. It’ll all get done eventually.

I have been accepted to the School of Education and will attend an orientation in a couple weeks!

Winter Blahs

2006-03-02T22:44:00.000-05:00

The dry, cold expanse of winter seems as endless as the steel grey sky above our heads some days. In between the 17 sunny days Michigan gets each winter we must do something to relieve our existence in this frigid desert: Get pampered in a Spa!

Unfortunately it will be the last personal expense of the season for you. So I offer you an alternative: Pamper yourself at home! (Note to all my male readers: While you will probably not wish to try these recipes yourself, your wives, sisters, girlfriends, and mothers will love them. I promise. Pass them along. You’ll get points.)

Lavender Body Oil
This first Pamper recipe is simple and luxurious, one of my personal favorites. Your skin will feel incredibly silky all day long.

Base Oil: I like to use Grapeseed oil which is very light, hardly has any odor, and can be used on all skin types. You can find base oils at any health store. I like Health Hut.

Lavender Essential Oil: Essential oils are also found in health stores. You can substitute any essential oil that you like, and even blend your oils.

While Lavender essential oil can be added to your base oil in any amount, many essential oils follow a dilution rate: 7-8 drops of essential oil per tablespoon of base/carrier oil.

Mayonnaise Hair Pack
Sounds weird, but when you consider that mayonnaise has eggs and vinegar in it you’ll understand. This is a recipe for homemade mayo. It is great for hair and skin. It does, however, smell!

1 ¼ Cups vegetable oil
1 tsp salt
1 egg
½ Cup apple cider vinegar

In a blender, mix ¼ cup of oil, salt and egg. While the blender is on, slowly, in a thin stream, pour in another ¼ cup of oil. Next, with the blender still going, slowly pour in half of the vinegar. Pour in another ¼ cup of oil, followed by the rest of the vinegar. Continue blending. Slowly add the rest of the oil. You should have thick, white mayonnaise.

Store in a jar in the refrigerator.

(Mayo recipe taken from Natural Beauty at Home by Janice Cox)

I hope you have fun with these, and feel great too. If you want more recipes try visiting the Spa At Home link in the links list.

LOST Revelations

2006-02-21T20:03:00.000-05:00

We are well into the second season of LOST and the mystery deepens. One of the greatest things about ABC’s hit series is the intricate web of details and clues that connect the characters to one another. One of the worst things is, of course, the reruns. I have come to the conclusion that the creators desire us to notice particular things in the replayed episodes to give greater meaning to continuing episodes.

This week the two hour Pilot is airing. I own the first season on DVD and noticed, while watching the Pilot for the 4th time, one of the background characters saying she thought the noise in the jungle sounded familiar, and she is from France (which is where Danielle, who has been on the island for 16 yrs, is from). Coincidence? I think not. Here are some other uncanny connections:

*Hurley, in his pre- plane crash life, used a series of numbers to win millions in the lottery: 4,8,15,16,23,42. He heard these numbers repeated over and over by Leonard with whom he spent time with while in the mental hospital (where Locke’s mother also spent time). Leonard overheard them while monitoring a radio for the navy. Leonard used the numbers to win $5,000 with a friend. After using the numbers, Leonard went crazy while his friend killed himself.

*After Hurley used the numbers death and destruction began following him. Hurley believes the crash is his fault, due to the bad luck of the numbers.

*Danielle, the French woman, also heard the numbers from her science team’s ship 16 years prior to the recent crash of Oceanic flight 815 (which happens to be the sequence of the 2nd and 3rd numbers). They found the source of the broadcast: The Island.

*The numbers are engraved on the side of the hatch that Locke and Boone find in the jungle. Inside the hatch they find Desmond (who Jack met years before in his pre-crash life) and are instructed to type in the cursed numbers which will reset a clock for 108 minutes.

Theories abound as to what is really going on on the Island. Among the theories debunked by producers in the recent TV Guide: Purgatory, the imagination of one survivor, time travel, and aliens.

Theories that remain:

A sickness: This is supported by the fact that Danielle killed her entire team because they were “sick”. Also, the survivors of flight 815 hear whispers, see visions, or hallucinations, and have psychic dreams. The Others have also said that they only take “good” people from the group.

A psychological experiment: This theory is supported by having to press a button every 108 minutes when no one knows what will happen if they don’t. During the orientation video in the hatch, reference was made to B.F. Skinner who experimented with rats in a cage.

A new society in preparation for an apocalyptic event: Evidence that supports this is found in the fact that everyone on the island needs a new start (interestingly John Locke’s namesake is that of the psychologist who declared that people are born Tabula Rasa, or blank slate). They all have left no one behind, and have links to each other in their pre-crash lives. There is also a multinational cast.

I hope that we will have answers to all these questions at some point. Until then, I love being wrapped up in the mystery!

I have heard one very disturbing rumor which I have not been able to substantiate: The writers quit because they wanted more money. There seemed support for this in that the week after I heard it, there was a rerun from season one, and as the new episodes are continuing the characters are becoming increasingly dark. I am still looking for concrete evidence of this though.

*Source for all information and speculations: This weeks TV Guide.

A Public Hanging

2006-02-16T22:24:00.000-05:00

The Imposter has been caught, tried, and sentenced!

I, and my team of investigators (who shall remain anonymous due to the sensitive nature of their existence), have tracked down and prosecuted Daniel Geaslan for unlawful conduct on the Exhale website.

Dan has hear-by been charged with:

*Numerous counts of impersonating The Steph.

*Two counts of carrying on a conversation with himself.

*One count of impersonating another user (poor Bob).

*Three counts of annoying behavior.

The verdict is as follows:

1. Dan must publicly announce himself as the imposter at the scene of the crime (the shoutbox).

2. For his next seven visits, Dan must include in his comments at least one praiseworthy thing about The Steph whose name he has so besmirched.

3. Dan must find an accountability partner that will help him occupy his thoughts more constructively while flying around up in the clouds. It’s obvious he has too much time to think about nothing. If one cannot be found, one will be appointed by the Exhale court.

4. Dan’s website Africaflyboy must be visited by all members of the jury (that is you), and comments should be left there as to your disapproval of his conduct here (since we are all unanimous in our decision).

Let this be a warning to all who think they can get away with cyber offences on the Exhale website!

Colombia

2006-02-10T10:30:00.000-05:00

This past week one of the highlighted countries in my world geography class was Colombia. Here are some astonishing facts I learned about Colombia:

Colombia is in South America and is bordered by Panama, Venezuela, Brazil, Peru, and Ecuador.

The official language of Colombia is Spanish.

Colombia is the world’s #1 exporter of cocaine.

Colombia has an extremely unstable government.

I paid special attention during our talk about Colombia because a tiny corner of my heart was being awakened.

Two years ago: Summer 2003

I received a student publication called Link International from Voice of the Martyrs, a ministry to the persecuted church of the world. This particular issue was highlighting Colombia. It took me two weeks to finally stop looking at it.

Guerrillas control much of Columbia and are funded mainly by the drug trade. Guerrillas are not the official army, but carry out acts of war. Many belong to the FARC which in English translates to the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Columbia.

The Guerillas force children to go to their training camps. They consider these children their “allowance”. If a family does not willing surrender their children, they will kidnap them. Many children who have either escaped or been rescued by the Colombian army must live miles from their home and families in “safe houses”.

The most riveting picture in the article (which I don’t think I should post b/c it’s copyrighted) is of a 15 year old girl guerilla soldier being rescued by the Colombian Army. She is being helped into a helicopter by three soldiers and her face is tight and guarded. She is wearing camouflage pants which are in stark contrast to her white teletubby t-shirt.

The violence in Colombia has led to much poverty. Some children are orphaned, and some are just sent out by their parents to make money on the streets. Not all the children who live with their families can afford to go to school (which is almost free).

*All information taken from Link International Summer 2003.

I don’t know if God will ever send me to a place like Colombia. I don’t know if I could even handle the war and trauma and death that surround those children’s lives. The question I keep coming back to is “Can I leave them there?”

Maybe I’m just crazy. Can you picture pipsqueak me rescuing children from Guerillas?! I make my mother nervous when I talk about things like this. :)

I am willing to go if He chooses to send me.

*Please visit Voice of the Martyrs and pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ who are suffering for the faith around the world.

Take Five

2006-02-04T13:53:00.000-05:00

I applied to the School of Education Wednesday. I will know in six weeks if I have been accepted.
I did a photo shoot with my cousin this week. We used my uncle's digital. The pictures turned out nice. You will be seeing some of them around.
My virus protection is up today. I'll need to deal with that.
I'm leaving at 4:30 today for Grand Haven. I hardly ever go there, so Anna and I are going to explore every nook and cranny that we possibly can. That's what you call adventure on a budget. I'm on the lookout for the new and unexplored. If I find anything interesting, I'll post about it.
I really should be working on my homework right now.

"Traffic Light"

2006-01-31T19:56:00.000-05:00

The traffic light simply would not turn green
So the people stopped to wait
As the traffic rolled and the wind blew cold
And the hour grew dark and late.

Zoom-varoom, trucks, trailers
Bikes and limousines,
Clatterin' by - Me oh my!
Won't that light turn green?

But the days turned weeks, and the weeks turned months
And there on the corner they stood,
Twiddlin' their thumbs till the changin' comes
The way good people should.

And if you walk by that corner now,
You may think it's rather strange
To see them there as they hopefully gaze
With the very same smile on their very same face
As they patiently stand in the very same place
And wait for the light to change.

-by Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

Sometimes, when things are taking a long time and I'm growing impatient, I imagine life to be like this poem.

*All emphasis added is my own.

Spoons

2006-01-27T13:20:00.000-05:00

We had a successful Ogborn family Christmas party this past season. We have done away with gift giving, but there is one tradition we cling to. That is the game of Spoons. For those of you who have never played this palm-sweating, heart-palpitating game, I will explain it to you along with some graphic pictures of some of the action.

The first minute or so is spent removing all jewelry and any excess clothing. This is very important as I have seen necklaces ripped from the necks of the less aggressive, and one cannot afford to be burdened by extra clothing when wrestling for a spoon. Ah yes, the spoons.

Spoons are placed in the center of the table, or floor accessible to all players. However, there is always one or two less spoons than players. It is the same concept as the childhood game of musical chairs.

Two or three decks of cards are used during the game of spoons. The dealer shuffles the cards and then deals out four cards to each player. The dealer then starts passing the remaining cards around the group one at a time.

The game has begun.

A player may only keep four cards in his hand at a time. Each player is looking for four of a kind. When a player has redistributed his hand to contain four of a kind he grabs a spoon, which signifies to the other players to also grab a spoon to remain in the game.

A player is allowed to “fake out” the other players during the rapid and frenzied card passing by slamming their hand on the table near the spoons. If another player grabs a spoon as a result of this “fake out” they are automatically out of the game, or receive a letter next to their name (spelling out SPOONS).

Once a spoon is grabbed, complete chaos breaks out. There should be no young children nearby. A good sturdy table should be used for this game. I tested out the integrity of our table several times during the evening and found it to be very satisfactory.

One should be prepared to leave the table with several wounds. It wasn’t the sliding across the length of the table like a body surfer, and then head first over the end that did me in (it was my spoon!). Rather, it was the wrestling for a spoon that became my downfall.

It happened when three of us latched onto the same spoon: Myself, my cousin Ricky, and Marcus, Rebecca’s Californian man. I held on for all I was worth. Ricky was the first to give in, but not before gashing my right knuckle. I struggled valiantly with Marcus for the spoon, but I could feel it cutting into my left finger. I cried out that he was hurting me. He assured me he did not want to hurt me, but despite my cries of agony, and encouraged by the others around the table he continued to twist the spoon away from me. When I finally let go, my hands were red with trauma, the spoon was bent, a card was ripped, and a piece of my finger had been gouged away.

I was in for a couple more rounds, but alas, I had too many letters to my name: SPOONS

From Glutton for Punishment to Magnet for Grace

2006-01-24T12:45:00.000-05:00

Glutton for Punishment

Wednesday

12:30pm: I have a sick, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. What have I done? Why am I taking this class? I’ve never had a chemistry class in my life, and now I’m expected to keep up with this pace when I don’t even understand the simple terms. This is how I felt that time I failed math class.

3pm: I have a great professor. I just wish I knew what she was talking about! Today is a group project. I write down whatever answers my group members are magically coming up with. I just read the chapter a few hours ago! I’m feeling sicker. My brain is starting to disconnect, to escape. I struggle to stay in the classroom. I could learn this if I worked really, really hard. I know myself too well. I need brand new concepts repeated a couple of times. I don’t have time to fail this class and take it again.

Thursday

6:30am: I’ve had such a wonderful sleep! I roll over under my heavy leopard print comforter. Chemistry. My eyes open and I groan. Chemistry is still here. I listen to the sounds of my brother just getting up for work, and begin wondering what I’m going to do about this problem I have.

7am: I decide to get up. I really want to talk to my mom about this before she leaves for work. I watch her eat (I only have the stomach for tea) and she listens to me. It feels good just to talk about it with someone.

7:20am: We stretch out in the living room. She heads for the shower and I head downstairs to run on the treadmill, still thinking. Back and forth. What can I do? Why do I get myself in this trouble? I know that this is over my head and I need to get out while I can. But, I’ll be a wimp if I quit! Then I remember about trusting God completely. I talk to Him, and give it to Him, and begin to cry. It’s really hard to cry and run at the same time, so I quit crying and finish running.

7:45am: I am stretching out my warm muscles when mom yells to me, “Maybe you should be trusting God like you were telling me.” (read “A New Year’s Resolution” post ) Yup.

8:30 am: I’ve showered and dressed. I am alone. Just me and God, our morning quiet time. I grapple with fear and trust. Why am I so afraid? Because I realize that this could mean another delay. All my carefully laid plans! I am applying in two weeks for the School of Ed. A failed or dropped class at this point could potentially set me back an entire year because of deadlines. I can see everything unraveling. God has me where He wants me.
I realize: This season in my life is God’s best for me right now, and if He chooses another delay for me, I must submit to Him. His plan is far above my plan. I can’t see the road ahead, the turns, the detours, the roughness or smoothness of it, but He can. I must trust Him because I am essentially blind. I will do what Hebrews 12:7 says and endure this hardship as discipline.

11:30 am: I find myself in an available advisor’s office with the ESP program. I need to know my options, hopefully before my 1pm chem lab. She listens to me, looks things over and then announces, “I don’t think you even need this class!” We make phone calls. Several phone calls. It is confirmed that I do not need the class at all. My degree analysis made it look like I did because of the way some things transferred. I drop the class just before 1pm.

1:15pm: I head to professor White’s office. I am praying for God’s favor and grace. I want to pick up his class, my English capstone, in place of the chemistry. I am past the deadline for adding a class, and his class is closed (full). If I take it in the spring, I will receive no financial aid because it is the only class I have to take and I would not be full time. If I take it during my teacher assisting, there is a possibility I will go insane. I don’t want to go insane. He will not be in ‘till 4:30.

1:30pm: I spend a little time in the computer lab.

4:30pm: I present my case, humbly, before this tall, distinguished gentleman. He is reluctant. I knew he would be. My chances are very slim. Even if he agrees, I need the Dean’s approval. He questions me, looks at my degree analysis, asks more questions and then says, “Ok”. I am floored! I breathe out my thanks to God as he gets the necessary paper work. He is saving me $800 and possible insanity. Class starts at 6pm 161 LHH.

5pm: I run across campus to the lab to type my letter to the Dean. The Dean’s office is closed. I will have to cancel my hair appt. tomorrow to bring it.

6pm: I can’t believe I’m sitting in this class! I tell Prof. White that I wrote my letter to the Dean. He has emailed her already and tells me there should be no problem with her approving.

Tuesday

11:30am: Stop by the Dean’s office and my approval is final! Go directly to records and add the class and pay the late fee. A little matter with finances comes up, so I have to go across to the financial office and straighten it out. It’s all settled. I smile.

A Magnet for Grace

Blogger Self-Award

2006-01-21T09:12:00.000-05:00

May it be recognized that I have been blogging for an entire year!!! To commemorate this special event, I am hosting a party right here on my blog (One of those come-and-go-as-you-please parties).

So, grab some chocolate and your favorite beverage (although I forbid anyone to get smashed while here. I don't want any drunken commenting), and meander through the Exhale Archives.

And Now:

A toast to bloggers everywhere! Cheers!

Mrs. Dunwoody's Excellent Instructions

2006-01-17T19:17:00.000-05:00

Mrs. Dunwoody was a Southern woman who lived in the 1800’s. She lived through the Civil War and was respected by all who knew her for her hospitality and wisdom. Some of her advice seems outdated and even hilarious at times, while some (in my opinion) have stood the test of time. She gives great advice to ladies and gentlemen which, to a generation where lady-like charm and gentlemanly chivalrousness have seemed to fade, deserves our attention.

Ladies

A lady will not dress in an odd way as to attract attention or remarks. (Odd dressing is rampant among the "ladies" of our generation. I try not to dress oddly.)

A lady in public walks wrapped in a mantle of proper reserve, so impenetrable that insult and coarse familiarity shrink from her. (I'm not sure this one is possible, but I'm going to try it whenever I'm out in public!)

A lady does not smoke, or bite her fingernails. (Yes!! I've got this one down!)

A lady is never late (lest it give her suitors time to count up her faults). (What faults?!)

A lady possesses a sense of humor and can easily laugh at herself, but never at others. (I am constantly laughing at myself. I probably wouldn't have to do this so much if I walked wrapped in a mantle of proper reserve.)

Gentlemen

Is always considerate of the feelings of others no matter what the station of others may be. (This kind of man gains my respect)

Does not allude to conquests which he may (or may not) have made with the ladies. (Men must not have been that different back in the 1800's. Men who do this make me want to slap them in a very unlady-like fashion.)

No matter who he may be, or how high or low his position in life may be, never besmirches his wife’s name, for in so doing he besmirches still more his own, and proves that he is not, was not, and never will be a gentleman. (I really like the word besmirch!)

Does not walk around with his mouth hanging open, lest he be thought a fool. (This one is my favorite!)

To be born a gentleman is an accident. To die one is an achievement. (An aspiration for all the men I know!)

-Mrs. Dunwoody's Excellent Instructions for Homekeeping: Timeless Wisdom and Practical Advice by Miriam Lukken

JourneyWoman

2006-01-12T11:24:00.000-05:00

This post is entirely devoted to my new favorite website journeywoman.com

This website inspires the adventuress in me. It is crammed with tips, ideas, and opportunities

Like:

An apartment in Italy for $21 a day (split two ways) and two bikes at my disposal to discover Venice.

Anyone want to go?

Warning: Visit this site, but don't blame me if you find yourself dreaming and planning your escape. Just take me too.

Oh.

2006-01-07T11:54:00.000-05:00

Trust in God is connected to waiting,
Waiting is connected to impatience,
Impatience is connected to pride,
Pride is connected to the Fear of God.

I'm sorry Father, I cry out for your mercy and grace.