Nightmares

The past couple of nights I have woken up with nightmares about giving my Wednesday 40 minute lesson plan. In my dream Sparbeck is there observing me, all the 5th graders are sitting around me, and I don’t have all my materials! Things are going terribly!!

Yesterday, I thought I would write out all my project due dates because I was feeling a little overwhelmed with all that is due and didn’t want to forget anything. What I found was a possible source for my anxiety and stress. Here is what I saw when I looked at my paper:

Project Due Dates:

Nov. 1 – 40 min. ITIP format lesson plan and observation by Field Coordinator.
Nov. 2 - Observation notes and classroom map that I have been collecting and updating.
Nov. 5 – T/A Application
Nov. 6 – Magic Suitcase (theme that covers 3 subject areas w/ materials, and is portable.)
Nov 7 – Peer Reviewed journal #1 (for research project).
Nov. 8 – Student Assessment and Reflection (assess a student and reflect on findings).
Nov. 9 – Shadow Assignment (shadow a student for a day and write up findings) / Peer Reviewed journal #2.
Nov. 14 – Peer Reviewed journal #3.
Nov. 15 – Present results of Lesson Plan to colleagues (w/ demonstration & media).
Nov. 16 – Management Plan rough draft (includes my management style, brochure for interviews, rules and procedures, 1st day of school materials, 50 teaching tips, etc.).
Nov. 21 – Peer Reviewed journal #4
Dec. 1 – Teacher Certification Application.
Dec. 8 – Last day in Field (fifth grade placement).

This list does not include the dates for:
Interactive Bulletin Board (I create a bulletin board in my 5th grade class).
Folio B (a collection of materials and write up)
Folio C (a collection of materials and write up)
Second 40 min. ITIP Format lesson plan and observation.
Final Research Paper.

These either do not have dates attached yet, they’re just coming up soon, or the dates have been changed and a new one hasn’t been given. This list also does not include my regular homework such as reading chapters, answering questions, and weekly journaling (which I just realized I forgot to do again).

The thought that keeps running through my head is: I won't be able to get my hair done this weekend, or next weekend, or next...

MEAPing

We are about to embark upon the 3rd week of MEAP testing. I was DONE MEAPing with my 5th graders on the 3rd day! Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings are taken up by The Test. I put two crackers, a cup of juice, and a mint (which is supposed to be a calming influence) on each desk the morning of The Test. No child shall begin The Test hungry. We want them to perform well. After all, school funding is tied to this test.

The children arrive and we begin with gentle pressure, “Hurry up and finish your snack children!” From there we set the clamp, “Turn of all cell phones and digital devices! Make sure your name is on your test! No talking! I cannot read any part of the test to you, or help you on the test! Begin!” Then the children huddle over The Test in agonizing silence. Every once in awhile some poor suffering urchin will look up at me with pleading eyes, and I will smile a compassionate and encouraging smile, “Just do your best!”

Most unsettling are the children who miss school on Test day, or don’t fill in the bubbles correctly. They must then be taken out of regular classroom time on our off days, Monday and Friday.

There is much hype about The Test. Its core purpose is noble. The children are tested over what they learned the year before so teachers can know what needs to be taught to the students in their class in the current year. Unfortunately, they take so long correcting The Test that by the time the results get back to the teachers the school year is over!

There is also a lot of hype about the scores of The Test. We get nervous about how well students in other counties are doing in comparison with ours. Foreign students seem to be testing better than ours. What we aren’t told is that students in other countries are tracked. This means that at an early age the teachers decide if the students are smart enough to go on to college. If they aren’t, they are put on a vocational track and are never tested. The brilliant students go on to advanced courses and college preparation. They are tested, and these are the scores we are comparing ALL of out children to. We test everyone. We test the emotionally and cognitively impaired for goodness sake! That affects our scores.

Look at the numbers, but be aware of how those numbers are decided upon.

Now as a reward for reading all of that, here are some pictures of my 5th grade classroom:

I sit in the chair next to the overhead to do brain boosters with the kids each morning. Except when we MEAP of course. I write the answers on the overhead as we go over them, and of course a screen is pulled down at that time.




This is the Library corner. As you can see the kids have lots of comfortable seats to choose from.


We started the year with desks in groups. For the MEAP we split them up into rows. We may keep them in rows for the rest of the marking period. Some kids can concentrate better if they're not in groups all the time.



This is the other side of the room, closest to the door.

Dear Friends, Faithful Readers, Family, Passers-by,

I meant to post for you on Monday, or Tuesday. Alas, my good intentions failed me. This has been (and still is as Thursdays are my busiest days) a busy and difficult week. As it is, my weekly online journaling for one of my classes completely slipped my mind for the past two weeks. I even get motivational points toward my grade for that one! I didn't sleep in my own home a couple nights this week, the children were terrors in my class one of those days, yesterday I was sick, and today is Thursday (my longest, hardest day). Usually by Thursday I am done living. Fridays are better. My students do centers, which are mostly fun, I see my girls I nanny, and the week leaves me in one long Exhale.

I'm supposed to be at the school in 10 minutes or so. I still need to dry my hair, brush my teeth, put on make-up, find my shoes...

Vanity

I can’t seem to get my hair done. I’ve been attempting it for over a month now. Part of the problem lies in the fact that I’m distracted with other things, and part with the busyness of schedules. I called my hairdresser, who is also my good friend, in August, but she was on vacation. I got busy with the semester. Then I talked to her a week or two ago. I got busy with some class projects. Then I talked to her yesterday. Then I called and left a message today. There is still no date for a hair appointment. She is the mother of three young children. I am a full-time college student with a part-time job and part-time internship. Needless to say we’re having a little difficulty negotiating schedules.

I’m about to go crazy. My hair is driving me nuts. I simply need a cut and low-lights. On Saturday I went to have my eyebrows and upper lip waxed, which puts the pain and price of beauty into perspective very quickly, but the studio’s schedule was all full for the day. So now here I sit in my tower, an ugly hag, waiting to be rescued by a capable beautician.

If I can’t get my beauty appointment, I have only one course of action open to me: Redefine the Standard of Beauty!

Look out!

(Don't laugh because this may happen to you one day, and you will think back to this post, feel guilty for laughing, and regret it. )

Bring Me the Sky!

I flew an airplane this weekend! I flew in a couple circles like a big lazy bird and then in a nice straight line (following a ribbon of road beneath me), until I finally gave the controls back to the pilot. It was quite a breathless feeling. Sorta like I couldn't breathe. It was very exciting!

I hung out with Daniel, who was home from Africa en route to Afghanistan, and Issy, both old friends from my TM Texas days. I spent a little time driving around in Holland trying to figure out where the heck I was going in the middle of a rain storm with Daniel giving me orders from the passenger seat. I was driving like a bat out of Hades and almost caused an accident once or twice, but I really can't take all the blame. I was excited to see my friend, more intent on catching up, and talking on the cell to organize our plans with our other friends. I imagine my friends think I'm an insane driver, but I really am not. It's just when you combine friends, a new city, rain, and cell phones that things get a little hairy.

Actually, I did a better job of flying the airplane than driving my car.