Return from the Wild

Well, the four of us survived four days of tent camping in (ok near) the woods, but just barely. We had frequent visitations by a very hungry, but polite raccoon. The first night he visited it was right outside the tent flap where we had conveniently left our garbage for him. The second time was at the edge of the woods where we had left old fruit we didn’t want. We only became aware of his presence that time because of a strange echoing, sneeze-like sound he was making. I’m not sure if that’s the sound raccoons make (I’ve never heard one before), or if he was allergic to something. It was quite creepy in the pitch dark hearing that before realizing it was him. We also were made aware of a potential attack by a very scary creature called Ricky (and his menacing bear suit), but thanks to our off-grounds security guard, Chris, we were saved from a fate worse than torture! Thank you Chris, you will be well paid.

This fifth annual camping excursion I am particularly grateful to my dear friends, who I sadly take for granted, that lived with me for four days, know just how imperfect I am, and love me still.

I don’t have any pictures yet, but I will post them as they become available. Speaking of pictures, I would like to take this opportunity to announce that the Exhale picture blog is currently under construction and new pictures will be coming soon. Thank you for your patience and undoubted excitement for their arrival.

Silence

As the members of The Smoking Fire Camping Club prepare to embark upon the 5th annual camping trip, imminent Silence will fall upon the blogs. Be strong, be not faint of heart for we shall return. This will not be a Silence eerie, nor a Silence full of loss, but rather a Silence of Golden Peace. Know that we are communing with nature, lulled by the waves upon the shore and the breeze within the treetops. We shall return as new women who have seen a clearer meaning of Life through the Silence that will envelop us as we leave behind the busyness of everyday life for a quieter, more reflective existence.

I, for one, embrace the Silence.

Extreme Trading

Everybody is happy with a good trade. Kids trade things like lunches, collectors cards, and toys. Adults trade things like kids, services, stocks, and real estate.

This months issue of People magazine highlighted a young man who took trading stuff to the extreme. This man started his trading on the internet with one red paper clip, which he traded with a woman for her fish pen. Over the course of a year he traded for bigger and more valuable things. He is a fellow blogger and you can track his trade course at One Red Paper Clip. He ended up with his ideal trade: A house! He essentially got the house for the price of...well...one red paper clip.

I have got to start thinking outside the box!

The Oasis Project: Dance

This is an exclsive pre-release post of The Oasis Project and any unauthorized use of material, all or in part, is strictly prohibited by the author.

For the past three or four weeks The Oasis band and choir has been slaving away in the reording studio to produce our latest worship album. Well, Barak and Randy have been slaving away. The rest of us just had fun!

I can only speak for the choir of course. The band laid down the music track a week earlier than the choir laid down vocals. The purpose of this was so that the choir would have some music to sing along with! Brilliant, I know. We had a rough start with the dreaded celebration song, but Barak loves that song so we all did our best. From then on it was smooth sailing. We had to sing each song (the choir part) twice because we will stack the vocals on the final cut. This will make us sound like a choir of 24 instead of only 12. (l-r: Barak, Jim, Dennis, Gary, Me;aka Monty)



We all agreed that the motto of the recording session was "hurry up and wait". It took a little time to get equipment set up and running smoothly. We took a couple of breaks and made it out of the studio after only three and a half hours. (Missy;aka Smitty, Karri)



Barak took the brunt of all the stress for us. His ideas often clashed with Randy's, whose studio we used. He did lead vocals on most of the songs.



I came into the studio the next day to record lead vocals on three of our songs. It was a lot of fun, but a little harder than I thought it would be. It is actually real work. I had to sing each song three or four times through until we had what we wanted.



Randy French owns the recording studio in Grand Haven and I really hope he doesn't sue me for posting his photo here. He is a very nice guy, but also very no-nonsense and can be a bit on the intimidating side. He said that he doesn't really need talent because his equipment does it all, which is fairly true because he applied auto tuning to most of our vocals to correct any off pitch notes. It is quite amazing what he can do.

We all worked very hard on this project, so I hope you will enjoy the CD when it is released (exclusively) in the next few weeks. I will be autographing any copies that you would like. I would also like to point out that Jeff did an amazing job on the trombone to contribute to the project. I'm sure he'll post some pics of the band recording session, and no doubt he'll autograph your CD as well. I know I want him to autograph my copy!

At the End

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I dunno, press the button and find out."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Instant Hiccup Cure!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, this foolproof remedy for hiccups works every time! And in a matter of seconds!! This inexpensive, ordinary household staple is none other than (drumroll please...): PEANUT BUTTER! Yes folks its very simple. When you find yourself plagued by the annoying and sometimes painful hiccups (also knows as hiccoughs), simply scoop out a spoonful of creamy peanut butter and take a big bite. The concentration exerted by the brain to prevent choking on the thick, creamy peanut butter takes all the attention away from those pesky hiccups and they dissipate immediately. No more scaring the beejeebers out of yourself, holding your breath, drinking water upside down, or focusing on taking your hiccup out and putting it in your hand (a vain attempt to distract the brain from allowing hiccups). Once you try the peanut butter method you will never go back to the other methods again.

Warning: Please do not attempt this if you have even the remotest allergy to peanuts!

Endorsement: This remedy is wholeheartedly endorsed by the author of this blog.

Disclaimer: The author has not attempted this remedy using crunchy peanut butter and cannot vouch for its effectiveness or safety.

A State of Being

WARNING: The following post contains material that may be shocking to some readers, and may cause a shattering of the ideal or perfect "self" of the author. As for the author, she gladly steps down from her pedistal. If you feel that you cannot be exposed to such content without incurring mental and emotional damage, please do not read any further.

I am tired of being disappointed. No more, please stop. There is nothing I hate more in life than disappointment. My only defense is to not care, to not expect anything.

Everything I do seems pointless, leading to only God knows where. Nothing seems to work or help. One step forward, two steps back. All seems futile and meaningless.

I am being exsanguinated of hope: A long, slow blood-letting of the soul. I am almost empty, I feel the life ebbing from me. (someone please, please help me)

On independance day, I am still not free. Oh the irony.

DISCLAIMER: I realize this is only my perception, my state of being. Maybe even my season in life. A season of faith shaking. I was asked to trust, I have abandoned that effort for the present although I hope to work my way back into it, which will probably turn out to be a disappointing effort. It would probably be more advantageous to give up on any self-effort and...well...trust God to do it. I guess I am angry at losing what (I think) is so important to me. I could use your prayers in this. I so very rarely get the luxury to be weak and needy. I am always required to be "strong" and "spiritual" and, simply put, I am tired of that. I want to be a real human being.

Conspiracy

Would you believe there is a conspiracy concerning the health of the average American! Believe it. Yesterday, in an attempt to be more healthy I chose to buy a gallon jug of tea to drink rather than a 2 liter of pop. Three cheers for me right? That's what I thought until today when I looked at the back of the jug to see what great and healthy ingredients I was literally pouring into my body and saw the three most dreaded words, which amounted to: High Fructose Corn Syrup. This ingredient is one of the worst for our bodies and is literally riddled into almost everything we eat! I think it's used to preserve food, but makes our poor pancreases work incredibly hard (if I can remember my nurse cousin's speech on the evils of High Fructose Corn Syrup).

Not only is this a problem, but I'm sure you've noticed that the real healthy food is so expensive only people with extra cash can afford it! Have you been in any health stores lately? They also make everything in a health store seem absolutely essential for your body. Who can afford to buy the whole store?! The details of vitamins, herbs, supplements, minerals, oils, acids and the like are also so numerous ( and dire) that one is left confused and hopeless.

I want to be healthy, I really do. I just get frusterated with all the details only to find out what I thought was healthy really isn't. This is the conspiracy: To make us think what we are eating and drinking is healthy when it isn't, and to charge lots of money for the stuff that is really healthy if you can first get past the confusion about what really is healthy.

If someone could make this really simple for me, I would give them a huge, and I mean huge, hug!

Maybe I should just invest in the health raquet.