Politics Schmolitics

My family prides itself on its political aloofness. Some would call it ignorance, but the truth is we just protect ourselves. We don’t subscribe to any newspapers, listen to much of any radio, and have never had a television (we’re movie people). The news we hear is usually second hand from someone else who takes it upon themselves to fill us in on all the details. The world could go to war and we would barely know about it. As long as we have food, water, guns, and ammo, we’re ok. We’re happy people.

College has changed me some. I see the need to know what’s going on in the world around me. I try to help my family see that too. When I do though, I usually get a speech on how “they” are trying to take away our rights and most importantly our guns or I am met with ambivalence. This explains my own ambivalence toward politics. I often see both sides of an issue and then exhaust myself by going in circles. The result is that I am not confident of any thoughts I may have politically and therefore try to stay away from discussing such things.

It is a wonder then how I came to work for one of the most politically active families in my city. They are active in campaigning and in the community, practice law, and now one presides as judge of the 60th district court! They have had a positive influence on my political weakness. I benefit from their political savvy by reading the paper (ok, mostly Dear Abby) and even Newsweek on occasion.

In fact, I read an article recently in Newsweek that talked about the Democratic Party’s 2008 Presidential candidate nominees: Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, an Illinois Senator. The amazing thing being that one is a woman and the other is black. The question posed was; is America ready for such a president? Are we ready for a woman President? Are we ready for an African American President? It will certainly be a momentous election in 2008 no matter what the outcome of the Democrat’s nominations. I’m not sure what the Republican Party will do as I have heard nothing of their candidates for the upcoming election. I find it interesting in a sensational way. And now as my political insecurity begins creeping up on me, I end this post.

My Cup Runneth Over

You may remember that on my To Do list, Dec. 8th was when things wrapped up. I am so lucky and blessed that it is not the case for me. I get to spend one last day with my students on monday as my cooperating teacher was absent Dec 8th. I also have not even begun writing my research paper, so I can work on it throughout the next week. I will work madly today, which will hopefully result in a rough draft. I'm not an English major for nothing you know. Then I get to present my findings to an enraptured audience on thursday. I also get to meet once more with my reading assessment class to "go over anything we didn't have time to do over the last 14 weeks". I also get to take on the full responsibility of leading worship twice this sunday without my two main musicians! What a great opportunity to stretch my faith and trust in God. I have taken note that life stress has caused me to gain weight this semester also. Yes, I can say without a doubt, "My cup runneth over."

Snow Day!

Today is the first Snow Day of the year! We have officially left warm weather behind and are heading into the blinding white of an another endless winter. Our world is changing. Ahead there is snowboarding to be done, snowmen to build, and goodies to bake. There are holiday get-togethers, memories to make, and celebrations to participate in. We may witness the closing of chapters, let go of things we hold dear, and embrace change to our inner worlds.

For now, we seize the season. Let it Snow!

...and Inhale!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I spent most of The Day frantically preparing to meet the numerous deadlines of next week. We had good food though.

I finally got my hair cut!
You may notice it is slightly shorter. Most of you will notice no difference at all. I'm just glad for my own sake that it is done.

I got my winter placement! I will be teaching in a Kindergarten class. It will be a big jump from 5th, but I am looking forward to it.

That is all.

Exhalian Proverb

An ancient Exhalian Proverb says, “It is better to see a goose than a swan”. Spoken by a 21st century philosopher, it is a phrase of timeless wisdom, which should be heeded by all. As the story goes, the philosopher, observing nature from a quiet country road, spied a glassy calm pond surrounded by fowl. Among the fowl she noticed beautiful white birds of serenity. Thinking they were Swans to be admired and cherished she cried out in wonderment, “Swans!” Having a mind of keen scrutiny, however, a closer look revealed that the birds were not Swans, but rather Geese. The philosopher said to herself, “Ah! It would have been better to see the Goose as it was and accept it than to see a Swan only to realize the truth and be disappointed”. This brought about a profound revelation to the philosopher: In life it is better to see things for what they are than to see them for what one would wish them be.

The experience drove the philosopher into a period of seclusion from which she emerged and opened her own monastery. She called the monastery “The Way of Nature’s Realism”. On a plaque above the door was written: This world has no room for the idealist or the dreamer. Even nature has its way of kicking the idealist to the curb and delighting in it. Only the realists survive.

The monastery attracted many followers who, like the philosopher, had finally been crushed by life’s repeated mockery and disappointments. They devoted the rest of their days to living realistic lives free from the poisonous venom of idealism.

Hush

Our auditory health is extremely important given the fact that we only get one pair of ears during our lifetime. Like food dieting, we should regulate our intake of noise very carefully to assure optimal auditory health well into our old age. Unless you want to deal with hearing aids and constant repetition of statements by the steadily growing annoyed speakers surrounding you. Here is a healthy list of sound according to decibels to regulate your sound intake during each day (100 dbs or more can hurt your ears):

Barely Audible
Breathing…10
Rustling leaves…20
Whispering…20

Very quiet
Quiet conversation…30
Phone conversation…50

Quiet
Restaurant conversation…60

Loud
Noisy office…70
Vacuum cleaner…70

Possible Hearing Damage
Garbage disposal…80

Hearing Damage After Eight Hours
Busy urban street…90
Food blender…90

Extremely Loud
Jackhammer…100
Power lawn mower…100
Motorcycle…100
Car horn…110
Live rock music…120

Threshold of Pain
Jet takeoff (from 110 yards)…130
Aircraft carrier deck…140

Physical Pain
Jet takeoff (from 27.5 yards)…150
Rocket engine…180

(Information taken from the Scholastic Book of Lists by James Buckley, Jr. and Robert Stremme)

Exhale News Update

Retraction
The ground breaking case of Chris Knudson vs. The Exhale Blog resulted in a retraction of The Ice Cream Man post, which was first posted in July, earlier this week. The plaintiff, Knudson, complained that the material aforementioned was offensive and inaccurate. An ice cream man himself, Knudson pointed out that, “Not all ice cream men are bad people. Some are, but there are also some teachers who are not nice people either. Almost all of my customers trust me enough to send their kids out alone. I have a safe, fun, clean, reliable, and high-class business.” Mr. Knudson owns Shoreline Shivers, a company dedicated to restoring the nostalgic joy of ice cream to people everywhere. The author of Exhale extends her deepest apologies to Mr. Knudson and was in fact quoted to have said, “Point well taken.”

Countdown Begun
The countdown has officially begun toward the graduation of one of the most self-celebrated bloggers, and long-time college student, Stephenie Luce. With just under 200 days left, Stephenie seeks to enjoy what time she has left and retain what sanity remains. After making a career out of college she is finally ready to move on, although her future plans remain uncertain. Stephenie welcomes everyone and anyone to join in the countdown, which will run continuously at the bottom of the Exhale main page until April 28th: Graduation Day!!

Sigma Tau Delta
An initiation ceremony will take place on December 6, 2006 to welcome new members of the Iota Tau Chapter of Sigma Tau Delta English Honor Society at Grand Valley State University. We are proud to announce that our very own Steph will be amongst those initiated. As a lifetime member of this prestigious society, Steph hopes that she will finally be recognized as having achieved some academic success during the six years she has given to the pursuit of knowledge and career.

Self Smart: A New Approach to Education
Shocking interview with inmate reveals that reading books and college could, "...get you dead."
self smart

Nightmares

The past couple of nights I have woken up with nightmares about giving my Wednesday 40 minute lesson plan. In my dream Sparbeck is there observing me, all the 5th graders are sitting around me, and I don’t have all my materials! Things are going terribly!!

Yesterday, I thought I would write out all my project due dates because I was feeling a little overwhelmed with all that is due and didn’t want to forget anything. What I found was a possible source for my anxiety and stress. Here is what I saw when I looked at my paper:

Project Due Dates:

Nov. 1 – 40 min. ITIP format lesson plan and observation by Field Coordinator.
Nov. 2 - Observation notes and classroom map that I have been collecting and updating.
Nov. 5 – T/A Application
Nov. 6 – Magic Suitcase (theme that covers 3 subject areas w/ materials, and is portable.)
Nov 7 – Peer Reviewed journal #1 (for research project).
Nov. 8 – Student Assessment and Reflection (assess a student and reflect on findings).
Nov. 9 – Shadow Assignment (shadow a student for a day and write up findings) / Peer Reviewed journal #2.
Nov. 14 – Peer Reviewed journal #3.
Nov. 15 – Present results of Lesson Plan to colleagues (w/ demonstration & media).
Nov. 16 – Management Plan rough draft (includes my management style, brochure for interviews, rules and procedures, 1st day of school materials, 50 teaching tips, etc.).
Nov. 21 – Peer Reviewed journal #4
Dec. 1 – Teacher Certification Application.
Dec. 8 – Last day in Field (fifth grade placement).

This list does not include the dates for:
Interactive Bulletin Board (I create a bulletin board in my 5th grade class).
Folio B (a collection of materials and write up)
Folio C (a collection of materials and write up)
Second 40 min. ITIP Format lesson plan and observation.
Final Research Paper.

These either do not have dates attached yet, they’re just coming up soon, or the dates have been changed and a new one hasn’t been given. This list also does not include my regular homework such as reading chapters, answering questions, and weekly journaling (which I just realized I forgot to do again).

The thought that keeps running through my head is: I won't be able to get my hair done this weekend, or next weekend, or next...

MEAPing

We are about to embark upon the 3rd week of MEAP testing. I was DONE MEAPing with my 5th graders on the 3rd day! Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings are taken up by The Test. I put two crackers, a cup of juice, and a mint (which is supposed to be a calming influence) on each desk the morning of The Test. No child shall begin The Test hungry. We want them to perform well. After all, school funding is tied to this test.

The children arrive and we begin with gentle pressure, “Hurry up and finish your snack children!” From there we set the clamp, “Turn of all cell phones and digital devices! Make sure your name is on your test! No talking! I cannot read any part of the test to you, or help you on the test! Begin!” Then the children huddle over The Test in agonizing silence. Every once in awhile some poor suffering urchin will look up at me with pleading eyes, and I will smile a compassionate and encouraging smile, “Just do your best!”

Most unsettling are the children who miss school on Test day, or don’t fill in the bubbles correctly. They must then be taken out of regular classroom time on our off days, Monday and Friday.

There is much hype about The Test. Its core purpose is noble. The children are tested over what they learned the year before so teachers can know what needs to be taught to the students in their class in the current year. Unfortunately, they take so long correcting The Test that by the time the results get back to the teachers the school year is over!

There is also a lot of hype about the scores of The Test. We get nervous about how well students in other counties are doing in comparison with ours. Foreign students seem to be testing better than ours. What we aren’t told is that students in other countries are tracked. This means that at an early age the teachers decide if the students are smart enough to go on to college. If they aren’t, they are put on a vocational track and are never tested. The brilliant students go on to advanced courses and college preparation. They are tested, and these are the scores we are comparing ALL of out children to. We test everyone. We test the emotionally and cognitively impaired for goodness sake! That affects our scores.

Look at the numbers, but be aware of how those numbers are decided upon.

Now as a reward for reading all of that, here are some pictures of my 5th grade classroom:

I sit in the chair next to the overhead to do brain boosters with the kids each morning. Except when we MEAP of course. I write the answers on the overhead as we go over them, and of course a screen is pulled down at that time.




This is the Library corner. As you can see the kids have lots of comfortable seats to choose from.


We started the year with desks in groups. For the MEAP we split them up into rows. We may keep them in rows for the rest of the marking period. Some kids can concentrate better if they're not in groups all the time.



This is the other side of the room, closest to the door.

Dear Friends, Faithful Readers, Family, Passers-by,

I meant to post for you on Monday, or Tuesday. Alas, my good intentions failed me. This has been (and still is as Thursdays are my busiest days) a busy and difficult week. As it is, my weekly online journaling for one of my classes completely slipped my mind for the past two weeks. I even get motivational points toward my grade for that one! I didn't sleep in my own home a couple nights this week, the children were terrors in my class one of those days, yesterday I was sick, and today is Thursday (my longest, hardest day). Usually by Thursday I am done living. Fridays are better. My students do centers, which are mostly fun, I see my girls I nanny, and the week leaves me in one long Exhale.

I'm supposed to be at the school in 10 minutes or so. I still need to dry my hair, brush my teeth, put on make-up, find my shoes...

Vanity

I can’t seem to get my hair done. I’ve been attempting it for over a month now. Part of the problem lies in the fact that I’m distracted with other things, and part with the busyness of schedules. I called my hairdresser, who is also my good friend, in August, but she was on vacation. I got busy with the semester. Then I talked to her a week or two ago. I got busy with some class projects. Then I talked to her yesterday. Then I called and left a message today. There is still no date for a hair appointment. She is the mother of three young children. I am a full-time college student with a part-time job and part-time internship. Needless to say we’re having a little difficulty negotiating schedules.

I’m about to go crazy. My hair is driving me nuts. I simply need a cut and low-lights. On Saturday I went to have my eyebrows and upper lip waxed, which puts the pain and price of beauty into perspective very quickly, but the studio’s schedule was all full for the day. So now here I sit in my tower, an ugly hag, waiting to be rescued by a capable beautician.

If I can’t get my beauty appointment, I have only one course of action open to me: Redefine the Standard of Beauty!

Look out!

(Don't laugh because this may happen to you one day, and you will think back to this post, feel guilty for laughing, and regret it. )

Bring Me the Sky!

I flew an airplane this weekend! I flew in a couple circles like a big lazy bird and then in a nice straight line (following a ribbon of road beneath me), until I finally gave the controls back to the pilot. It was quite a breathless feeling. Sorta like I couldn't breathe. It was very exciting!

I hung out with Daniel, who was home from Africa en route to Afghanistan, and Issy, both old friends from my TM Texas days. I spent a little time driving around in Holland trying to figure out where the heck I was going in the middle of a rain storm with Daniel giving me orders from the passenger seat. I was driving like a bat out of Hades and almost caused an accident once or twice, but I really can't take all the blame. I was excited to see my friend, more intent on catching up, and talking on the cell to organize our plans with our other friends. I imagine my friends think I'm an insane driver, but I really am not. It's just when you combine friends, a new city, rain, and cell phones that things get a little hairy.

Actually, I did a better job of flying the airplane than driving my car.

The Lady of Shalott

…Four grey walls, and four grey towers, Overlook a space of flowers, And the silent isle imbowers The Lady of Shalott…

…There she weaves by night and day A magic web with colours gay. She has heard a whisper say, A curse is on her if she stay To look down to Camelot. She knows not what the curse may be, And so she weaveth steadily, And little other care hath she, The Lady of Shalott.
And moving through a mirror clear That hangs before her all the year, Shadows of the world appear. There she sees the highway near Winding down to Camelot;…

…And sometimes through the mirror blue The knights come riding two and two. She hath no loyal Knight and true, The Lady of Shalott…

…"I am half sick of shadows," said The Lady of Shalott…

…She left the web, she left the loom, She made three paces through the room, She saw the water-lily bloom, She saw the helmet and the plume, She look'd down to Camelot. Out flew the web and floated wide; The mirror crack'd from side to side; "The curse is come upon me," cried The Lady of Shalott…



…Down she came and found a boat Beneath a willow left afloat, And around about the prow she wrote The Lady of Shalott…

…And at the closing of the day She loosed the chain, and down she lay; The broad stream bore her far away, The Lady of Shalott…





Excerpts taken From Lord Alfred Tennyson's "The Lady of Shalott".

The Lady of Shalott was locked in a tower. She was cursed in that she could never look directly out the window. Everything she saw happening outside was through a reflection in the mirror, which she in turn weaved into her web. One day, however, she noticed Sir Lancelott and the sight of him caused her to leave her weaving and look out the window. Immediately the curse befell her. She knew it, and left the tower, floating down the river in a boat as she slowly died.

Too Much to Think About

I have too much to think about. I actually get lost sometimes because one thing will lead to the thought or inspiration of another thing and I'll get distracted from what I'm doing. I think it has to do with the intense focus of the Education Program. Sometimes I'm just mentally exhausted. I can only drive so hard for so long. I got a free book the other day. For my future classroom. Ok, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, too much to think about. Not hard, just a lot... a lot all at once...a lot to process...a lot to organize...a lot to think about, and plan ahead about...and I know I'm rambling, but this is all that's left of my poor emaciated mental capabilities.

The kids in my class are great.
My classes are great.
My cooperating teacher is great.
My homework is great.
And life is just doggone great.

227 Days and Counting.

A Momentous Occasion, Cause for Celebration

Today is a day of Reckoning for two reasons (hmmm, there’s that number again!). The first, being Teacher Assisting in my class of 22 fifth graders. Overall it was a good experience. I didn’t do much besides observe and take copious notes on all the morning’s activities. The difficulty in observation comes from trying to document the events without being clouded by personal judgments of those events. Personal judgments can rob a person of a true perspective of what is really going on. In order to observe as an insider rather than an outsider, I must document only facts and strings of conversation, and return to those raw observations to record my thoughts, feelings, and impressions of what occurred. That is the theory anyway.

I think this will be a good group of kids to work with and learn from as a future teacher. I really do love being in the classroom. I only had one sketchy moment while I attempted to help some poor girl attach her stretchy book cover over a beat up math book. I think it was too small. It really took some elbow grease, and I attracted a small crowd of children each with a brainy idea on how to get it on. I finally realized that I was in danger of destroying school property and gave up. The temptation to be a hero always must be weighed against the loss of dignity. This particular scenario was much too risky.

The second reason for us to Reckon this day is that it is September 5, 2006, the day LOST: Season Two hits stores. Yes, I have it already. After my lunch with the other teachers (to which I was personally invited), I rushed right over to Best Buy and bought it. For all the hardcore fans out there, I will pass along the new knowledge which I have gleaned from the exclusive bonus features.

Two new websites for the LOST fanatic: The ‘Lost’ Notebook is a plethora of collected facts, and The Fuselage is the official website of the Creative Team of the LOST show. You can check them out as you catch up on season 2 (or 1 if you’re that far behind) and gear up for season three.

Hasn’t this been a nice day?!

*edit And Daniel called from Africa!!!

Hop On the Merry-Go-Round

Have you ever sat around thinking and reflecting? Minutes turn into hours, hours into days, days into months. You stir and realize that nothing has really changed or been accomplished except that you are now frustrated and in a bad mood. I’ve never been so glad in my life to pull out of a season of reflection and rest than this one. I welcome the busy schedule, the balancing act of assignments and due dates, the research to conduct, the papers to write, the lessons to plan, the projects to execute. My mind will be busy on things that matter (and that I can actually DO something about) and I will once again be moving in some clear direction.

Most of all I will be distracted from the fact that I am steadily moving ever closer to the edge of the unknown. There has always been a plan, a next step, a clear direction of what I should do and where I should go. All that will disappear for me quite soon. I suppose everyone comes to that day at some point in their lives. You arrive there at the edge, but really every choice has lead there. It is the feeling of a free fall. I hope I will be brave enough to dive headfirst over that edge when the moment comes. Maybe something will be there to catch me.

This week I went to class, a Doctors appt., and a CPR/First Aid training. Next week I will start Teacher Assisting, go back to work, and begin assignments. I am so glad I had a week to get into my class schedule before adding assisting and work. I will be observing for the first few days in my 5th grade class I think. I have to draw a map of the classroom and list demographics for one of my classes. That will be my focus for the first couple days.

I have all my classes except one in town and will carpool with my dear friend Angela for the one in GV. Now that I’m in the College of Education the pool of people is much smaller. I know almost everyone in all my classes. The three classes in town are filled with all the same people because everyone wants to save themselves the commute to GV. I’ve never had three classes with all the same people. It got a little tedious when all three professors asked us to share an interesting fact and we had to think up a new fact for each class so we wouldn’t sound boring!

That does it for the boring life update. Consider yourself in the loop.

One and the Same

The End.

Over, Finished, Done.
Leaving, Good-byeing, Moving on.
Starting, Expecting, Looking ahead.
New, Unseen, Future.

The Beginning.

The end leads to a new beginning, to an end, to a beginning,to an end...

*edit

Living up to her reputation, Mom has once again taken an event, a story, and told her own version of it. I have, once again, fallen prey to this tendency of hers and in turn subjected you, my dear readers, to its fallacy. This gross misinterpretation of the facts surfaced in The Ice Cream Man post made several weeks ago. A reliable source has revealed that it was not acorns that were used by my brothers in an attempt to buy ice cream, but pine cones. May it stand corrected in the Exhale annals.

Before we build the gallows, let me say that my sympathies are with the trespasser, namely mom, in this case. My decision is greatly influenced by the fact that I have subconcsiously acquired this uncanny ability to manipulate events to my own view point. The first step toward recovery is to admit a discrepancy in oneself. We struggle onward toward perfection. I will no doubt pass on to my children the implicit flaws of my human nature. I pray that I will have mercy upon that day.

A Girl Like Me

A Girl Like Me

Thanks to Kelsey I have added the video "A Girl Like Me", which prompted my previous post on The Doll Test, to Exhale for your convenient viewing! As a side note, youtube.com allows you to post videos directly to your blog right from their website. It may be a fun way to spice things up around here anyway.

The Doll Test

In the 1950’s, soon after Brown vs. Board of Education desegregated schools, Dr. Kenneth Clark performed a test on young black children. This test consisted of two dolls, one white and the other black. The children were then asked which doll was pretty and which doll was ugly. The overwhelming answer from these children was that the white doll was the pretty one, while the black doll was the ugly one.

In the 50’s racial segregation and discrimination was still very much alive. Think of Dr. Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, and Emmett Till. Nowadays most of us don’t give segregation or discrimination a second thought. We pat ourselves on the back that we have moved past that ugliness, and offer a puzzled expression to the occasional “hate crime” that appears on our college campuses and news headlines. Fifty years isn’t really that long ago. If you were fifty years old, all the major ups and downs on the rollercoaster of race would have happened during your lifetime.

Recently Good Morning America made us aware of a shocking (or maybe not so shocking) truth about the current state of racism in the United States by highlighting Kiri Davis, a young aspiring filmmaker. Kiri made a film called “A Girl Like Me”, which won an award from the Media That Matters Festival. She decided to re-conduct the doll test with young black children. She found a white doll easily, but had an extremely difficult time finding a black doll. Stores simply did not sell them. Once she did find one and performed the test, the results were almost identical to the results 50 years ago. Fifteen out of twenty-one children chose the white doll as the pretty/good doll, while indicating the black doll as ugly/bad. The last little girl shown in the video (which you can download for viewing) was asked which doll looked like her. There was a heart-wrenching pause before she finally pushed the black doll, which she had just indicated as the bad doll, forward.

I was sickened by that image. It shows what our society values as beautiful and good. The black culture is not validated by our media. Just as the media tells a woman that she must be thin and dress a certain way to be beautiful, it says black (unless the features lean toward Caucasian and mainstream English is spoken) is not beautiful. We are concerned about the media effect on gender, so why not color?

I would strongly encourage you to download “A Girl Like Me” and view it, as this post will be much more meaningful if you see it for yourself. If you have dial-up like me it will take some time, but it is well worth it.

Interestingly there is a collection of racial propaganda and memorabilia on the Ferris State campus here in Michigan. It is called The Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia and it's purpose is to show how the media has portrayed and still portrays black people. There is a lot there in the link I've offered, but you can see pictures of some of the items in the museum.

My Mom Rocks!

She does. I can tell her anything. She's so proud of me. Sometimes she's so proud that she exagerates about my accomplishments and abilities. Like the time I called home while living in Tx to fill her in on everything going on in my life. I told her about the worship CD I helped with by singing in the choir there, then launched into the big news that I would be touring for two weeks with the Newsboys to promote mission trips to concert goers on their tour. She then went right out and told everyone I was going to be a backup singer for the Newsboys! *sigh* I was so embarrassed. But between her pride in me and obvious confusion about the events I spewed out during a short phone call, I guess I can understand her mistake. I did have a bit of work cut out for me undoing that little misunderstanding once I moved back home though. ("So, wow! you were a backup singer for the Newsboys?!" "No...no. I promoted missions. Missions!)

Still, I couldn't ask for a better mom. She is my friend as well as my mother. That is why I announce with great pride that my mother is a blogger! So for all those times she has exuberantly spread mostly true (it really is her point of view) accounts of my latest accomplishments, I say my mom has the rockinest blog ever and everybody should rush right over there and welcome her to the blogosphere: www.pebblesofsand.blogspot.com

Afterall, everything I know about exaggeration I learned from her.

Return from the Wild

Well, the four of us survived four days of tent camping in (ok near) the woods, but just barely. We had frequent visitations by a very hungry, but polite raccoon. The first night he visited it was right outside the tent flap where we had conveniently left our garbage for him. The second time was at the edge of the woods where we had left old fruit we didn’t want. We only became aware of his presence that time because of a strange echoing, sneeze-like sound he was making. I’m not sure if that’s the sound raccoons make (I’ve never heard one before), or if he was allergic to something. It was quite creepy in the pitch dark hearing that before realizing it was him. We also were made aware of a potential attack by a very scary creature called Ricky (and his menacing bear suit), but thanks to our off-grounds security guard, Chris, we were saved from a fate worse than torture! Thank you Chris, you will be well paid.

This fifth annual camping excursion I am particularly grateful to my dear friends, who I sadly take for granted, that lived with me for four days, know just how imperfect I am, and love me still.

I don’t have any pictures yet, but I will post them as they become available. Speaking of pictures, I would like to take this opportunity to announce that the Exhale picture blog is currently under construction and new pictures will be coming soon. Thank you for your patience and undoubted excitement for their arrival.

Silence

As the members of The Smoking Fire Camping Club prepare to embark upon the 5th annual camping trip, imminent Silence will fall upon the blogs. Be strong, be not faint of heart for we shall return. This will not be a Silence eerie, nor a Silence full of loss, but rather a Silence of Golden Peace. Know that we are communing with nature, lulled by the waves upon the shore and the breeze within the treetops. We shall return as new women who have seen a clearer meaning of Life through the Silence that will envelop us as we leave behind the busyness of everyday life for a quieter, more reflective existence.

I, for one, embrace the Silence.

Extreme Trading

Everybody is happy with a good trade. Kids trade things like lunches, collectors cards, and toys. Adults trade things like kids, services, stocks, and real estate.

This months issue of People magazine highlighted a young man who took trading stuff to the extreme. This man started his trading on the internet with one red paper clip, which he traded with a woman for her fish pen. Over the course of a year he traded for bigger and more valuable things. He is a fellow blogger and you can track his trade course at One Red Paper Clip. He ended up with his ideal trade: A house! He essentially got the house for the price of...well...one red paper clip.

I have got to start thinking outside the box!

The Oasis Project: Dance

This is an exclsive pre-release post of The Oasis Project and any unauthorized use of material, all or in part, is strictly prohibited by the author.

For the past three or four weeks The Oasis band and choir has been slaving away in the reording studio to produce our latest worship album. Well, Barak and Randy have been slaving away. The rest of us just had fun!

I can only speak for the choir of course. The band laid down the music track a week earlier than the choir laid down vocals. The purpose of this was so that the choir would have some music to sing along with! Brilliant, I know. We had a rough start with the dreaded celebration song, but Barak loves that song so we all did our best. From then on it was smooth sailing. We had to sing each song (the choir part) twice because we will stack the vocals on the final cut. This will make us sound like a choir of 24 instead of only 12. (l-r: Barak, Jim, Dennis, Gary, Me;aka Monty)



We all agreed that the motto of the recording session was "hurry up and wait". It took a little time to get equipment set up and running smoothly. We took a couple of breaks and made it out of the studio after only three and a half hours. (Missy;aka Smitty, Karri)



Barak took the brunt of all the stress for us. His ideas often clashed with Randy's, whose studio we used. He did lead vocals on most of the songs.



I came into the studio the next day to record lead vocals on three of our songs. It was a lot of fun, but a little harder than I thought it would be. It is actually real work. I had to sing each song three or four times through until we had what we wanted.



Randy French owns the recording studio in Grand Haven and I really hope he doesn't sue me for posting his photo here. He is a very nice guy, but also very no-nonsense and can be a bit on the intimidating side. He said that he doesn't really need talent because his equipment does it all, which is fairly true because he applied auto tuning to most of our vocals to correct any off pitch notes. It is quite amazing what he can do.

We all worked very hard on this project, so I hope you will enjoy the CD when it is released (exclusively) in the next few weeks. I will be autographing any copies that you would like. I would also like to point out that Jeff did an amazing job on the trombone to contribute to the project. I'm sure he'll post some pics of the band recording session, and no doubt he'll autograph your CD as well. I know I want him to autograph my copy!

At the End

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I dunno, press the button and find out."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Instant Hiccup Cure!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, this foolproof remedy for hiccups works every time! And in a matter of seconds!! This inexpensive, ordinary household staple is none other than (drumroll please...): PEANUT BUTTER! Yes folks its very simple. When you find yourself plagued by the annoying and sometimes painful hiccups (also knows as hiccoughs), simply scoop out a spoonful of creamy peanut butter and take a big bite. The concentration exerted by the brain to prevent choking on the thick, creamy peanut butter takes all the attention away from those pesky hiccups and they dissipate immediately. No more scaring the beejeebers out of yourself, holding your breath, drinking water upside down, or focusing on taking your hiccup out and putting it in your hand (a vain attempt to distract the brain from allowing hiccups). Once you try the peanut butter method you will never go back to the other methods again.

Warning: Please do not attempt this if you have even the remotest allergy to peanuts!

Endorsement: This remedy is wholeheartedly endorsed by the author of this blog.

Disclaimer: The author has not attempted this remedy using crunchy peanut butter and cannot vouch for its effectiveness or safety.

A State of Being

WARNING: The following post contains material that may be shocking to some readers, and may cause a shattering of the ideal or perfect "self" of the author. As for the author, she gladly steps down from her pedistal. If you feel that you cannot be exposed to such content without incurring mental and emotional damage, please do not read any further.

I am tired of being disappointed. No more, please stop. There is nothing I hate more in life than disappointment. My only defense is to not care, to not expect anything.

Everything I do seems pointless, leading to only God knows where. Nothing seems to work or help. One step forward, two steps back. All seems futile and meaningless.

I am being exsanguinated of hope: A long, slow blood-letting of the soul. I am almost empty, I feel the life ebbing from me. (someone please, please help me)

On independance day, I am still not free. Oh the irony.

DISCLAIMER: I realize this is only my perception, my state of being. Maybe even my season in life. A season of faith shaking. I was asked to trust, I have abandoned that effort for the present although I hope to work my way back into it, which will probably turn out to be a disappointing effort. It would probably be more advantageous to give up on any self-effort and...well...trust God to do it. I guess I am angry at losing what (I think) is so important to me. I could use your prayers in this. I so very rarely get the luxury to be weak and needy. I am always required to be "strong" and "spiritual" and, simply put, I am tired of that. I want to be a real human being.

Conspiracy

Would you believe there is a conspiracy concerning the health of the average American! Believe it. Yesterday, in an attempt to be more healthy I chose to buy a gallon jug of tea to drink rather than a 2 liter of pop. Three cheers for me right? That's what I thought until today when I looked at the back of the jug to see what great and healthy ingredients I was literally pouring into my body and saw the three most dreaded words, which amounted to: High Fructose Corn Syrup. This ingredient is one of the worst for our bodies and is literally riddled into almost everything we eat! I think it's used to preserve food, but makes our poor pancreases work incredibly hard (if I can remember my nurse cousin's speech on the evils of High Fructose Corn Syrup).

Not only is this a problem, but I'm sure you've noticed that the real healthy food is so expensive only people with extra cash can afford it! Have you been in any health stores lately? They also make everything in a health store seem absolutely essential for your body. Who can afford to buy the whole store?! The details of vitamins, herbs, supplements, minerals, oils, acids and the like are also so numerous ( and dire) that one is left confused and hopeless.

I want to be healthy, I really do. I just get frusterated with all the details only to find out what I thought was healthy really isn't. This is the conspiracy: To make us think what we are eating and drinking is healthy when it isn't, and to charge lots of money for the stuff that is really healthy if you can first get past the confusion about what really is healthy.

If someone could make this really simple for me, I would give them a huge, and I mean huge, hug!

Maybe I should just invest in the health raquet.

Inspiration of the Day

After much persuasion, I took my own advice and visited the links in my sidebar. I must say Strange Signs is absolutely hilarious! I know why I added it. There is a new one on the main page there exposing the true face of feminism. Having done a shallow study of feminism I immediately saw the humor. :) Maybe you will too. I may be inspired to give a short discourse on feminism one day (Thank you…thank you for the applause…no really…sit down…please).

We can always use inspiration of our Faith as the road is very long and dusty sometimes. One of the ways I inspire myself is to read stories of other Christians serving God. I own a book called Jesus Freaks co-written by DC Talk and The Voice of the Martyrs. Richard Wurmbrand started this ministry after spending 14 years in a Communist prison camp for this faith we have claimed. In Jesus Freaks, he shares this story:

Jubilant Dance for Jesus

“Christianity has become dramatic with us,” wrote Pastor Richard Wurmbrand, a leader of the underground church to Communist Romania. “When Christians in free countries win a soul for Christ, the new believer may become a member of a quietly living church. But when those in captive nations win someone, we know that he may have to go to prison and that his children may become orphans. The joy of having brought someone to Christ is always mixed with this feeling that there is a price that must be paid.

“When I was still living behind the Iron Curtain, I had met a Russian Captain. He loved God, he longed after God, but he had never seen a Bible. He had never attended religious services. He had no religious education, but he loved God without the slightest knowledge of Him.

“I read to him the Sermon on the Mount and the parables of Jesus. After hearing them, he danced around the room in rapturous joy, proclaiming, ‘What a wonderful beauty! How could I live without knowing this Christ?’ It was the first time I saw someone jubilating in Christ.

“Then I made a mistake. I read to him the passion and crucifixion of Christ, without having prepared him for this. He had not expected it. When he heard how Christ was beaten, how He was crucified, and that in the end He died, he fell in an armchair and began to weep bitterly. He had believed in a Savior and now his Savior was dead!

“I looked at him and was ashamed that I had called myself a Christian and a pastor, a teacher of others. I had never shared the sufferings of Christ as this Russian officer now shared them. Looking at him was, for me, like seeing Mary Magdalene weeping at the foot of the cross or at the empty tomb.

“Then I read to him the story of the resurrection. When he heard this wonderful news, that the Savior arose from the tomb, he slapped is knees, and shouted for joy: ‘He is alive! He is alive!’ Again he danced around the room, overwhelmed with happiness!

“I said to him, ‘Let us pray!’

“He fell on his knees together with me. He did not know our holy phrases. His words of prayer were, ‘O God, what a fine chap You are! If I were You and You were me, I would never have forgiven You Your sins. But You are really a very nice chap! I love You with all my heart.’

“I think that all the angels in heaven stopped what they were doing to listen to this sublime prayer from this Russian officer. When this man received Christ, he knew he would immediately lose his position as an officer, that prison and perhaps death in jail would almost surely follow. He gladly paid the price. He was ready to lose everything.

*Jesus Freaks, DC Talk and Voice of the Martyrs. Jubilant Dance for Jesus. Albury Publishing. Tulsa, Oklahoma. 1999. p 202

Cyber Life

We all enjoy our little cyber circle. It enhances our lives and friendships. It keeps us connected when life busyness or distance keeps us apart. I sometimes joke that I have a better cyber life than I do a real life! Some people take their cyber lives very seriously.

These are people who have given up on pursuing much of a real life all together. Maybe they have discovered that they can be an entirely new and better person (or perceived as such) in cyber space. Maybe they have discovered that communication is so much easier and less of a personal risk online. Whatever the reason, almost 200,000 people world-wide have gotten a second life: A cyber life. You too can create a new (cyber) life for yourself by going to Secondlife.com. There you can create a digital image of yourself and meet the digital representations of other users for free. If you like it you can, for a small fee, buy property and build a house, start a business, go to clubs, restaurants, and other recreational places. Second Life has its own economy in place using the Linden dollar. Whatever you create there you retain IP rights to and can sell for real US dollars. Yes, you read that right. Lindex is the official currency exchange from Linden $ to US$. There are also in-world ATM machines to make transactions easier.

There is now a cyber life for children at Millsberry.com. It is a much tamer version of Second Life, but just as enticing. Children can create their digital selves and interact in-world all for free. They earn millsbucks by playing games at the arcade. I can see how they can learn about economy and saving “money” in such a world, but if they don’t get on every day to collect their interest bonus points from the bank, they lose that interest. Do I hear the word addiction?

This is Sim City gone insane. With a cyber life like that, why bother with real life stuff anymore? It is a society within a society, turned in on itself. We don’t need to interact with real people anymore. It’s much more fun to create and live in our very own cyber world.

Mulder and Scully

A happy event has occurred in my little world. I discovered seasons 4-9 of the x-files for sale at a store near me. I, of course, bought all six seasons available. While the local Hollywood video rental has so graciously rented seasons 1 & 2 twice to me (humoring me with a sad half smile upon each of my frequent visits), I have yet to see season 3 in its entirety. I shall continue my search and so complete my collection.

Last year I began a ritual that became a great comfort to me. I had discovered for the first time that Hollywood rented seasons 1 & 2 of the x-files (which I had grown to love as a young girl). I was off – semester for the spring and I looked forward each week to indulging in the world of Mulder and Scully. I had also discovered the pleasure of Dove chocolates and logically combined the two delicacies to create several hours of bliss.

Mulder and Scully became like dear friends to me in those hours. I lived vicariously through them. They brought me joy and happiness, and satisfied my craving for the twisted and unexplained mystery with a (sort-of) solution. Again this spring I savored my way through the first and second season only to once again find myself at the end (cliff-hung in fact). I was strangely depressed and restless at the void this left. Imagine my excitement then when I discovered that I could enjoy 129 NEW episodes, and OWN them!

You cannot blame me, or judge me. It is my escape.

I’m willing to bet you have an escape of your own.

A Three Pipe Problem

Mysteries of life are not easily explained. One day, at the end of time, I hope that they will unravel themselves. I love mysteries, but only ones that can be solved. I like to know the ending of a good mystery. I’m not a big fan of Unsolved Mysteries. I shall pose a problem, which I am sure many of you have experienced and wondered at the mysteriousness of the phenomenon.

Have you ever shopped endlessly for clothing or gifts to no avail, but one unexpected day, favor shines down upon you, and you find the perfect things for incredible deals?

Have you ever lived weeks in boring nothingness, when suddenly four events converge on the same weekend forcing you to choose one or maybe two of the events only?

Why do things always happen this way: Feast or Famine?

When it rains, it pours!

It feels as if this is beyond one’s control. The Bible says that there are seasons and times for everything. Would that word refer to this phenomenon? We can exhaust ourselves trying to make things happen out of season. There is also something to be said about being perseverant.

I’m not much of a shopper, but I can compare this phenomenon to shopping. There are days when I go out looking for something, I go to several places, I find nothing, my feet hurt, my back hurts, I’m frustrated, and I feel like I have just completely wasted my time. It’s as if some unseen force has been against me. Other times I go out and every place I go I find exactly what I want, quickly, and in my price range.

I also have experienced the loss of realizing if I just would have looked a little longer and harder I would have found something really cool. I have experienced this while shopping with friends and they find something incredible in a place I gave up looking.

It’s like luck, or favor just builds up and builds up before/until it bubbles over. Maybe that is what pressed down, shaken together, running over means. We just don’t notice the blessing until it runs over. Maybe it’s because room must be made for the blessing before it comes: The ache of boredom and loneliness before the blessing of friends and fun, the frustration of searching to embrace the finding.

Elementary, my dear?

One Word

I stroll down the wide dock at the WL Yacht Club with one small, sticky hand in mine, the result of an ice cream cone gone out of control, and ponder the question Katie just introduced: Explain Mary in one word. I don't hesitate: Strong will. We move on to Katie and she beams: Dreamer. Now what about Miss Stephenie? A moment of thoughfullness, then Mary bursts: Giving! Katie's eyes light up in agreement. I'm stunned. That wouldn't have been the word I would use to describe myself, but to them it fits me perfectly. I would have expected the word caring, or something like it. I guess I do give my time, my advice, my love, my help, my patience. I give of mysef and they know it.

The little things that we do really don't go unnoticed. Our everday lives and presence create a solid (yet invisible) essence of who we are. It remains apart from outward appearance, it is the inner person. It's the person others grow close to, fall in love with, learn to respect, miss when we're away. It is the person that will remain long after our physical body has expired from this world.

Relationships are like mirrors: They allow you to see yourself more clearly.

Exhale News Update!

A long overdue update is about to be made...please stand by.




Former "buddies" Reinstated as Official Exhale Members
It has been noted that bloggers who held the rank of "buddy" have received a much more prestigious title due to the exclusive nature of their presence on the Exhale blog, and are now considered official members of said blog. These individuals are not just members, but also valuable contributers to the prestigiousness and exclusiveness of Exhale. Exhale is also proud to acknowledge it's newest members: Mike, Kelsey, and Angela who no doubt will prove to contribute witty shouts and thoughtful comments for the enjoyment of all members!

Annual Camping Adventure an Anticipated Success
The dates have finally been released for the fifth annual camping excursion of the "Smoking Fire" camping club at a most secretive spot. At the risk of exposure to the fragile privacy of it's high profile guests, security will be stepped up on the camp grounds in anticipation of their arrival. Please make note of these dates as they will not be repeated due to their highly classified nature: July 24-28, 2006.

Sanity of Author Validated
While there was some concern for the sanity of the author of this blog, it has come to the attention of those closest to the author that her faculties are indeed intact. She is neither insane, nor retarded. The fault lies with the fact that she is indeed a woman and subject to unannounced mood swings! There is no cause for alarm as this is all normal. The author does, however, wish to convey her sympathy to any one (or more) person (s) to whom she may have caused pain due to the violent swinging (particularly this weekend in a certain social setting).

Shoutbox Grand Opening
It was brought to the attention of User Control that the smilies in the shoutbox were popping up of their own accord and tormenting users in their various mannerisms and idiosyncrasies. The shoutbox was promptly re-installed so as to correct this problem. All smilies are now subject to behave. Any smilie who defies this order will be promptly shot by the smilie with the gun!

Sidebar Entertainment A Big Hit
New sidebar additions continue to increase the entertainment and intellect of the Exhale website. While more is planned for the future, the author would like to encourage the reader to "...take advantage of what is there." The author was also quoted to say, "When in doubt of what to shout [in the shoutbox] the reader can draw from the sidebar quotes, questions, and links to spark new, wild, and random shouting."

The gate is down, The lights are flashing, The train IS coming!

Every once in awhile I shock myself with some profound thinking. Yesterday was one of those days. I was thinking upon the mystery of the free will. Why is it that we are not free to do the things we really want to do at times? If we want the rooms in our houses to be nicer, the quality of our life to be better socially, physically, mentally, spiritually then why is it that we seem bound or hindered from being successful or accomplishing these dreams? Is it really because we don't have the time, money, guts etc. to do those things? We complain about our lack, but rarely own responsibility for it's presence in our lives. It's always someone or something else's fault. Even when we own up to it at times we sometimes just can't seem to make it happen.

Then I thought about the effort that it would take to keep our houses clean, and beautiful, and organized, the inspiration needed to be constantly bettering one's self through enrichment classes and the like, the time required to devote to those things that make our lives better, more enjoyable, more valuable. I thought, "My word! It would take a tremendous amount of ENERGY to do all that!" Then it occured to me that is why it is so important to take care of our bodies and be healthy. So, we can have the energy to devote to living the best life possible.

It follows also that our choices must be disciplined in order to accomplish the things we truly want. We must look ahead to the future as well as keep our attention on the present. We live in a society diseased with instant gratification and because of that we are destroying the quality of our lives piece by piece. It is important then to distinguish between what we want and what we really want! There are days when I don't want to go to class, but I want to get a teaching degree. Therefore, my real desire is to go to school even though I don't want to attend class all the time. Why complain then?

I think that Paul had it right when he said, "Godliness with contentment is great gain."

I think it is also right to keep balance in this by not being "content" with things that we have been given the power and grace to to make better. We must take responsibility for the change needed in our lives, be content in spite those things that can't be changed (grace), and have discernment to know the difference between the two.

Farewell Cousin Becky

My memories of my cousin Becky are ones of adventure and spontaneity, hysterical pants-peeing laughter, and raw honesty. We are opposites. Rebekah is unorthodox, bends the rules, tries weird things. I follow the rules and put a limit on weirdness. She is more open-minded to things, while I often struggle to get over my thoughts and prejudices about things. I am careful and methodical, while she closes her eyes and leaps. We balance each other out.

As she moves to Chicago today, I remember: Walks through grandma’s back property, fireworks on the lakeshore on the 4th, jokes about her left-handed handicap, sleepovers, ALL her boyfriends, sticking together during family get-togethers, watching “Babies Day Out” at the movies (which she had seen three times previously), catching her room on fire (not my fault), the photoshoot we did together, practicing new massage techniques on each other, her neon color phase, making sushi, horseback riding, surfing, snowboarding, lunch at the Red Wok, the times I thought she was crazy.

All of that can never be bought back. I am so thankful we made the best of it while we had the chance. I don’t know what the future holds for each of us. I’m sure there will be heartbreak and triumph through circumstances and sometimes by our own choices. No matter what, we are always a phone call (or click of the mouse) away from each other.

I love you Rebekah, and I pray the best for you always.

The Ice Cream Man

It’s that time of year again when the off pitch, broken-record sound of the ice cream man can be heard winding his way through your neighborhood. This sound is often associated with the childhood bliss of summer. It does not often strike terror into the hearts of young’uns wilting in the summer heat, rather the mechanical notes of “When the Saints Go Marching In” elicits an excitement that sends them running inside to beg for money for some of the ice cream man’s treats.

Maybe I didn’t have a normal childhood, but the sound of the ice cream man still sends shivers of disgust up and down my spine. I feel the need to hide, mutter curses, and spit when his truck saunters down my street. I think of the ice cream man as a seedy weirdo who can’t (or doesn’t want to) get a real job. He uses his job selling ice cream to scope out neighborhoods and the innocent children who live in them.

My mother is solely responsible for my attitude toward the ice cream man. She would warn us against him, and rarely did we have the opportunity to buy ice cream from him, and certainly never by ourselves. My mother’s words and attitude were justified on the fateful day that my brothers were chased by the ice cream man in his truck after they had attempted to buy ice cream with acorns instead of money. When the ice cream man showed up in our driveway breathing hard and pointing an accusing, fat finger at my shaking and cowering little brothers, we all knew mom had been right.

I sense the same apprehension when the girls I nanny for beg me to let them get ice cream from the slow moving ice cream van. It should have come as no surprise to me then that the lawyers I work for, while going through their pictures of injured clients, recognized the ice cream man in one of the photos.

All doubt was erased when I found This Picture. (This man is not, and never has been, a client of my employers)

No, the ice cream man is not to be trusted. Protect yourselves from him this summer. They sell much better ice cream in shops anyway!

My Best Friend's Wedding

My best Friend Anna tied the knot with her new best friend Chris last Sunday afternoon. I hold no grudge against her for this action. On the contrary I am very happy for her and would even go so far as to say I support her decision. She originally had no bridesmaids, but it became aparent that she would need an attendant for all those little details like her train and flowers, and keeping the paparazzi at bay. Since I have been her best friend for the last 6 years, and I was doing all those little details anyway, she allowed me to stand up front next to her during the ceremony. I was given strict orders not to steal the spotlight and God knows I did my best to honor her wishes. (Can I help it if the cameras naturally gravitate toward me?!) Anyway she didn't say anything about after the wedding, so for those who may have missed the stunning dress I was wearing I will post some pictures.






















































I wish my friend Anna all the wedded bliss that can possibly exist for two souls on earth. I'm sure she will be posting some of the wedding pics on her site.

Random Question of the Day

If you could have one super power, what would it be and why?

Random Thoughts

I think I over-analyze myself. I often take a normal conversation, email, or action that I do and I scrutinize it in retrospection until I am overcome with anxiety at my fault. I may be a perfectionist, or I simply may have picked up this habit from my mother. Some self-analysis and retrospection is good, but too much can have a detrimental effect upon a person. It really takes the joy out of some things. Maybe it is worry. Worry over things that I really have no control over. Letting it go is easier said than done. It could be that I have no patience with myself. I give myself no room to make mistakes and therefore I do not expect anyone else to either. It could be Obsessive Compulsive Disorder except my over-analyzing thoughts don't drive me to do any obssesive compulsive behavior in order to release anxiety (like compulsive counting- I guess I can thank my phobia for that). Maybe it's just insanity, and I'm the only one that doesn't notice. Have you ever wondered if others perceive you as crazy or even slighltly retarded and you're the only one who doesn't know. After all, If you are crazy or retarded you would think you were normal! Perhaps it is just frail human nature that is the culprit for an overanalyzing, perfectionist, impatient, OCD, worry-wart.
God help me.

Scripting Genius

I love reading good books. Now that I have the freed mental space to devote to good reading, I have been taking advantage of it. I have also put some thought into what constitutes a good book. I have had to give up a couple of my childhood prejudices on what a good book is. These are:
*A good book is fictional. While I still read (for pleasure) almost exclusively fictional books, some of my favorites have been non-fiction.
*A good book must be softcover. As a young'in I would never choose a book unless it had a soft cover. I have since realized that my reason for this is that hardcovers are uncomfortable to hold while reading. They are heavy and cumbersome. If I am interested in the story today, however, I will choose a hardcover.

I'm sure I have read hundreds and thousands of books in my lifetime, and it has caused me to value certain traits in books, of which I will share. I like to think also that my opinion is an educated one thanks to the numerous literature and writing classes of which my college career has subjected me to. Here are my criteria for good books:
*Profound descriptions: A good bok must display deep and unique descriptions of things that stir the soul. Bland, surface descriptions are uninteresting and boring.
*Depth: A good book must have deep characters with emotions that may sometimes be conflicted (because human emotions are conflicted). A good character has layers. There are surface features, but there are also deeper issues which are brought out in the character through plot.
*Twisted: A good book has twists in the plot and characters which adds suspense and mystery. If the reader is kept spell-bound, then it is a top rated book! Also twistedness can refer to strange and even horrific which is told in a way that the reader can accept as (at the very least) an alter reality.
*Underlying Purpose: A good book has a purpose (often weaved subtly through the story)through which the author uses the story to convey.

I have discovered (through my sister-in-law) a christian author who meets all of my criteria: Ted Dekker. He has profound descriptions, deep characters, and (very) twisted plots. He also uses his stories to explore profound philosophical questions. His stories are the vehicle to which he conveys his thoughts on those profound eternal questions. He may explore the existence of God (as in his novel Blink), or he may explore good vs. evil in the nature of man (as in Thr3e), or even God's love and salvation (in The Circle Trilogy: Black, Red, White). I have been astounded, and spellbound on more than one occasion while reading his novels. I guess you could call me a fan. It's just a good thing I have a job that I can read on!

Easy-going Bees

Today had the hint of summer in it, so I went to the state park to enjoy the beach. I was there a couple days ago too, but I consider this my first official day at the beach because I actually wore my bathing suit and put on suntan lotion! The water is still freezing, but it is perfect for sitting on the beach and looking at it. I took the short trail that goes straight down to the beach (as opposed to winding all over the place before depositing you onto the shoreline) because I prefer the more secluded spots. Too many people ruins the effect, unless you are yourself going with a group. I like to take the trail down also because it gets me in the right frame of mind for beach enjoying. My cares and distractions slowly peel away with every step closer to the gentle, pounding surf.

I brought along Ted Dekker's thriller Thr3e to read. It's insanely good, I can hardly put it down. (I had to force myself to finally turn out the lights in the wee hours of this morning). I was engrossed in the growing web of evil with the warm sun on my back and the pound of the waves in my ear, when I was accosted by a huge bumblebee. This freaked me out a bit, but I managed to go back to my reading with a partial eye out for bumblebees. My next visitor, however, was much stranger. He looked like a black wasp and had the uncanny ability to fold his tail end up so he looked something like a scorpion. I was thoroughly disgusted and yet intrigued by his strange nature. He left, but returned sometime later and pestered me until put Dekker's novel to good use. It took only...three hits or so to make sure he was good and dead!

Upon arriving home, I engaged in conversation with my brother Dave (which is always a mental adventure). I told him about the strange creature that seemed to be a bee, but not be a bee. He knew exactly what I was talking about from his landscaping days. In his experience of them, they are not as easily agravated as wasps, although they do have stingers (which I had noticed). They are, in his words, like easy-going bees.

If you see any easy-going bees this summer, know you can shoo them and kill them a little easier, but they have the capacity to sting!

Sylvia The Disobedient

For my final project in my children's literature class this last semester, I had to wrte my own children's story. Mary always asks me to tell her "bad stories". She means she wants a story about a kid who does something bad and gets in trouble. This was my inspiration for Sylvia The Disobedient. Anna made some original drawings for the book, to which the children in Mary's 1st grade class (to whom I read the book) exclaimed in wide-eyed wonder: "Your friend is a good drawer!"



Sylvia is a little girl who is very bored one afternoon and decides to go down to the lake alone even though she has been told not to.











She finds an old boat down at the lake, gets in, and floats away without realizing she has no oars. She is afraid, but is found by a friendly duck named George who keeps her company.




Sylvia has a few problems including no oars, getting caught on a log, and becoming cold, tired, and hungry.







She is eventually found by a police boat and taken home to be with her parents. The next day she is grounded and must apologize to the man whose boat she took.















The children I read this story to loved it and the pictures. One little boy raised his hand as high as he could at the beginning and asked what disobedient meant. When I told him, his eyes lit up and he exclaimed, "Oh yeah, I'm disobedient every day!" I just love kids!

Interview

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and interest in how my interview went with my supervising teacher at Beach Elementary. She is very nice and I think that we will get along well. I am the first TA (teacher assistor) that she has had, so this will be new for the both of us. She used to teach kindergarten and got moved to 5th grade 3 yrs ago. She felt about 5th grade much like I do. I felt good about this since it proves I'm not the only one who has felt this way and can survive the experience. :) She likes it though as I'm sure I will.

I love the way she has her class setup. She has a large carpeted open space where she does lessons. They do seat work at their desks. This is so great to me because it reminds me of the montessori. It sort of feels like home to see it. I will spend the mornings in her class beginning in the fall, which will be nice because she does reading and writing in the morning - my area of expertise.

I am officially done with the semester and will have a nice break for awhile to enjoy life before August 28 usheres me into the College of Education. I am now accepting all (within reason) social plans that anyone would wish to include me in, or be included in. It is sad that my life is, out of necessity, so out of balance as to be either all mental and no social, or all social and no mental. Maybe one day my life even out and I will be well-rounded and healthy in all four areas at the same time.

5th Grade?

Yesterday I got my teacher assisting placement. I am assigned to a 5th grade class at Beach Elementary. I am excited to be so close to home! I am a little nervous about being in a 5th grade class though. Fifth graders are starting to become more independent and less enthusiastic about rules and authority. Their horomones are also starting to kick in and drive everyone around them crazy. They are becoming interested in the opposite sex, but would rather die than anyone find out, so they just pick on each other mercilessly. Then there are the emotional issues they are beginning to face. The boys are wired for sound, and the girls are breaking down in tears. They are also a little more critical of each other and authority than younger kids.

Not only will I have to deal with all of this, but 5th graders are required to do real math! Now we get down to the nitty gritty. I'm not sure what the phobia for math is, but I'm pretty sure I have it. I observed in Katie's 5th grade last year and the teacher recruited me to keep score on the board for a geography game. I only had to subtract and add, but it made me so nervous that I dropped the eraser on the floor. I think it had something to do with standing at the board with everyone staring at me while I attempted math. I've had bad experiences with that as a child.

I'm pretty sure I will like it though once I get to know the kids, and I'm pretty sure they will like me too. I hope that my supervising teacher is nice, and wonderful, and helpful to my learning experience. I will be calling on Monday to set up an interview time with her. Pray that I have God's favor as I go!

Exam studying commences this afternoon with the arrival of my geography study budy. Unfortunately, I have strained my right eye, which is very painful and annoying. Whenever I read or look at the computer screen I feel the muscle pull. Now is not the time to deal with something like this.

I am really looking forward to our spa party next Saturday!

Two

The number two is a very important number in life. It takes two days to get used to living around new people (in a short term living experience such as a trip). It takes two weeks to get used to a new schedule. It takes two months to function normally after a tragic heartbreak (maybe less or more depending on the situation, but on average a good amount of time to recover is two months: The first to come to terms with it, and the second to start really living again).

The number two has again resurfaced recently in the number of exams wich I must suffer through. This is really fortunate considering I'm taking four classes, which is two more than two for all the math loving freaks out there. What is the statistics of this happening in a semester? For me the statistics are high I think considering I had a similar situation last semester. I owe it to my profession choice: Teaching. Finals are often projects and the like. :)

I must only suffer through a geography exam and an English exam. Speaking of English, I got an A on my last paper. Not a 96% A, or even a 98% A. No, I got a 100% A!! It may be significant that this was my 2nd paper written for this class (The first of which I also got an A, but not as good of an A).

The exams are far enough apart that I can study sufficiently for each one without stressing too much. Then I'll get four months off, which is two more than two for the number neurotics!

Strange Sighting

I don't know if anyone else has seen this or not, but while driving past Memorial Park I saw the same strange sight for the second time in the last couple of weeks. The first time I saw him I thought I was making it up. When I saw him yesterday though, I couldn't deny that it was certifiably strange, but true. I'll let you judge on the strangeness of it, and I would appreciate any information as to the reasoning behind it.

There is a man who stands facing the north bound traffic past Memorial Park. I'm always going south when he's standing there so I have to look in my rearview mirror to investigate. That is the reason why I thought my eyes were tricking me the first time I saw him. He wears a really nice suit that makes him look like a business man. My first impression was that he was on a strike because he holds a sign. In my rearview mirror though I was able to see the sign; it is white with a large black peace sign drawn on it. I got a really creepy feeling when I saw it. He just stands there by himself holding the sign.

Strange.